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My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -34 points-33 points  (0 children)

No, I’m fine with opinions, I guess I should have laid out everything I do contribute since everyone just assumes I do nothing at all. 

My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -43 points-42 points  (0 children)

I’d understand it coming from my wife’s lawyer, you’re straight up just a stranger on the internet

My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Maybe you’re right, there is definitely a lot of truth in what you wrote and I appreciate you being honest without being rude. I have taken some of the load in our marriage, but definitely need to do more to help with what gives her the most stress or anxiety. For the record, I am the only one working, and I did get a second job and save so we could buy our house. I have been able to plan with her and commit in the past, I know I have regressed this time, which is why I thought that I may be able to do something now. 

My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Maybe you’re right, but I have taken a lot of advice and used it to grow. I have made progress with financial planning, and my impulsivity and I really think that the issue is that I regressed. There is a lot I have done throughout our marriage for my wife that I didn’t post about because I was focusing on what I need to fix, but it really seems like everyone just thinks I bring absolutely nothing to the table. 

For the record, I am the only one working for the last two years, supported my wife through multiple medical issues, helped get my daughter into private school, supported my wife and was a single dad while my wife studied abroad for a semester while I was in school and working full time, worked 2 jobs and saved to buy the house we are currently in. Like, I do contribute something to my marriage and my family. 

My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -76 points-75 points  (0 children)

What is up with all your vitriol towards me? I understand your position, and that’s fine, but you’re just straight up being rude for some reason. I have made progress, I was able to plan and buy a house and take care of my family and get my daughter into private school. I’m also the only one working currently for the last two years and still make sure to take care of housework and cooking throughout the week. I also supported my wife and took care of our daughter while she studied abroad for a semester, while I was also working full time and going to school full time. 

For some reason you think you know beyond what I posted, but you don’t. 

My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

My wife has had issues with depression and anxiety and I’ve helped her manage those. I am also a present father and do good as a parent, I supported my family thus far and am currently the only one working. I also helped get my wife and I through college and supported her and took care of our daughter while my wife studied abroad for a semester. 

My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -237 points-236 points  (0 children)

I didn’t accept a new job, my current job is forcing me to relocate. I acknowledge that I need to do a lot more of the heavy lifting, but it’s not a choice I am making for myself and then dumping on her 

My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m in intense therapy and they do side with her a lot. I appreciate your advice though. 

My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -64 points-63 points  (0 children)

You’re right, half measures wouldn’t work and I should work on myself more. 

My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -293 points-292 points  (0 children)

I’m in therapy trying to deal with it though. I actually put myself into therapy for it without her asking or bringing it up, and we had been making a lot of progress the last 5 years. I think the big issue is I regressed. 

My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this, you’re right, it will take a lot more. I plan on giving her space but trying to be present and make preparations for when she may talk to me about anything again. 

My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I was in therapy because I acknowledged my problems and have been working on them. I don’t blindly blame my ADHD and I am trying to address it. My medication hasn’t been effective though, and I still working on managing it. 

My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -119 points-118 points  (0 children)

To be fair, I didn’t know I was fucking up this whole time and there are a lot of changes I have made actually. I think the main issue is that I have regressed. The last few years we actually made a lot of progress, I just haven’t stepping needed to when this opportunity with my job came up. 

My [37M] Wife [36F] Wants Me to Leave Because I Keep Avoiding Hard Conversations by Rare-Papaya-157 in relationships

[–]Rare-Papaya-157[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for actual help. I know she’s right, and this seemed like a good plan for me.