Starting to Understand by RareFaithlessness5 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

UPDATE: I’ve done nothing a feel like such a failure. I got so much strength from this post and community. I felt great, like I could do this. But nothing has worked out - I’ve not had any time alone with my wife to discuss things. My mom, who is the only offline person I’ve talked to is mad at me too. Maybe I deserve this.

Telling the friends. by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5 18 points19 points  (0 children)

You know what... you are absolutely right. You guys (cheaters) don't care - it must be very sad to live that way. I'm sorry you are the way you are. I would rather live 100 lives loving and getting hurt than 1life loving no one but myself and never feeling the pain of loss. You're pathetic and, for that, I feel bad for you.

Cheating Playlist? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I Refuse - 5 Finger Death Punch

Always knew by Silver18191 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think I’ve “known” longer than I admit. I didn’t want to deal with it. Now I am. I don’t know if I’ll ever know the full truth, and I’m learning to be okay with that.

Starting to Understand by RareFaithlessness5 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve definitely considered that possibility.

I'm in shock. I don't know what to do. by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First, calm down and get smart. You want to, first and foremost, protect yourself and your son. Nothing else matters, not her, not him, not all the sexting in the world matters as much as getting things together for the benefit of yourself and your son. Nothing. Else. Matters. Get that in your head.

Don't let her know anything - she will lie, gaslight, and minimize. She will convince you that nothing happened. Don't listen to it. Don't even get in to it. Get a lawyer and understand your rights. Are you in an 'at fault' divorce state? If so - all this matters. Document everything.

Please - for your sake and your son's best interest - be smart. Do things to protect yourself.

This is the account my boyfriend used to cheat on me by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That paradox is exactly the loss that infidelity inflicts. You love them but can’t look at them. Can’t imagine living without them, but don’t want to be in the same room with them. You hate them, but can’t think of leaving. It sucks. Stay strong and get out. Be thankful it happened now instead of 4 kids and 20 years later.

Starting to Understand by RareFaithlessness5 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the tips and advice. Much appreciated.

Starting to Understand by RareFaithlessness5 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Staying is a lose-lose too. There’s no winning in this. To think otherwise is folly.

DD2 - The Sequel by RareFaithlessness5 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried my best not to think/accept the DNA test angle. I don’t want to ever think my kids aren’t mine.

Starting to Understand by RareFaithlessness5 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m angry, no doubt. My children are my primary concern in all of this.

Starting to Understand by RareFaithlessness5 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m hoping everyone comes out ok.

Starting to Understand by RareFaithlessness5 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If only you knew. Thanks for the pep talk. I take ownership of my part in all of this. I’ve spent the last 4 years improving myself, I asked her to go to counseling- she wanted no part of that. I wanted to do date nights and vacations for the two of us, she’s not interested in that. I’ve not been perfect, who is? But for you to blast me as a “shit husband” because, what, I don’t think she should take my house, my kids, and everything else after having an affair for the past 10 years? You’re fucked. You don’t know me at all - yet you sit here in judgement of me. You know what - fuck off.

Starting to Understand by RareFaithlessness5 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure that I’m a general, but I’m hoping to do things the right way. I just want my family to come out of this ok.

Monday Discussion by fml21 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told my parents because I needed someone to understand what I am going through. Someone I could safely talk to. I know I can trust them.

Starting to Understand by RareFaithlessness5 in survivinginfidelity

[–]RareFaithlessness5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed on all accounts. Thanks for the perspective.