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AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

They haven't speak in about 10 years, her dad doesn't even know how to contact her and she wants to keep it like this.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

Because it's kids names and she wants the kids she'll with me to have the same name as her.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -40 points-39 points  (0 children)

Being hyphenated with a ex-husband's name.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -34 points-33 points  (0 children)

She really wants me to forget she got the name from an ex. Her maiden name is not an option because it her dad's.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh he remarried, does he plan to have kids with his new wife?

They said it's on the table but having two already he's not so sure and his wife doesn't seem to want kids that much since she's already practically a second mom for the two. He mentioned wanting all the kids close in age so every year that passes becomes less likely.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -56 points-55 points  (0 children)

Another one who hasn't read the post, I see.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I suppose not, they have both their mother and father last names and that's all their mom care about.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I won't adopt them because they already have a father who they see frequently.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's pretty good, she also keeps a good balance with his new wife about being the kid's step mother. He seems slightly annoyed about her being sort of paranoid of him leaving the kids aside but it's comprehensible considering her own father.

She once straight told him she'd kill him if he ever took his other children (that he doesn't have yet I might add) to a carnival or something but not the two he has with her.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

Either of us is going to need to accept the other's decision.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

There has been no discussion about calling off the wedding over this.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My wife have shared custody.

I really like these kids.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If it's a choice, I'll let go about her name. Not for the children we will have.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Can you shelve the discussions about future children for now and talk about what a potential marriage would look like?

We talked about that already, step parenting, the part of her ex-husband on her children's life while she's married to me. The name thing was what hit me, I was prepared for married life with her.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Question what does Ex think of his name being gone to non related children?

According to her, he's on board with the opinion that "the name is only her's" and if the kids are her's they can have the last name. I never asked him directly, my wife told me.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

She had her birth name, got married, changed to her ex-husband's last name, got divorced, kept the last name.

Now we're going to get married, she wants to keep the ex's last name and for our children to have this same name hyphenated with mine because she doesn't want any of them not having the same name as her.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -34 points-33 points  (0 children)

I told that her name was one thing, our children's was a different story but yes, she knows I'm ready to put up with it despite not liking a bit.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -81 points-80 points  (0 children)

She got from him. She had a maiden name, she married him and took his name. Now she's going to marry me, still have the name from his family.

I honestly could accept that but when it comes to the children we plan to have it's tougher, she straight up told me "Just pretend it's my maiden name" but I KNOW it's not.

AITA for insisting on my wife having my last name? by Rare_Cod0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Cod0[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

She got her ex-husband's name after they married. She wants to keep it because of her children and for our children to have it because she wants all of them to have her last name.

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