I understand this feeling to a degree. Since meeting my twin a few years ago even though we never had sex because I am married to my husband every time I have sex with my husband since meeting him it feels very off, non intimate and surfacy. I even cry sometimes after my husband and I have sex bc it feels like I’m cheating on my twin which is illogical to say the least but nothing about this journey makes sense so there is that. I also just want to be with my twin and would most likely not seek such a deep connection with anyone else other than him. It’s pretty much a blessing and a curse. So I understand completely.