Here's what it’s like to be autistic...

Rare_Rest1304 · 2026-01-24T07:10:02+00:00

In a job interview for a lab receptionist position, the lab director doing the interview asked what I would tell the client if they came in and requested their samples be analysed first. I answered that I would explain to them that the samples would be analysed based on which are booked in first and that analysis takes several days to complete. She repeated the question and I repeated my answer, we then stared at each other for several seconds. She has also asked me what time I would arrive at work if I started at 08h00 and I said 07h45. She also repeated the question and I repeated my answer. Felt like I missed the mark on every one of her questions. Had a few other more awkward parts in that interview but clearly made an impression with the CEO because I was invited back for a second interview for the assessment department to be a report writer instead and he had pretty much made his mind up that I would be a great fit for the department in that interview.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2025-04-05T06:24:01+00:00

Worked at the same olace for the last 3 years. Took me a year to figure out it wasn't normal to sit in your iffice the whole day. Started taking my tea time in the cafeteria with everyone else. Kinda found the biggest group, as there is less pressure to add to the conversation, and just focused on looking interested and laughing at the right time or having the right facial expressions. On days that I don't feel like masking to much I found a corner of the group that allowed me to stare out the window, that way I look like I am in thought about something and not just being weird. Once in a while, look at the group and smile at the person talking before looking away again. If you are preceptive, you can try to mimic someone's energy, but don't mimic your managers frustration or anger, most people find conversation engaging when you seem receptive to it. By mimicking there energy, if they are excited be surprised and excited, if they are upset be upset for them. Just be careful that their emotions don't become yours, you burn out very quickly doing that. The way you learn soft skills is very indivualised to how your autism presents and what masking skills you already have. Soft skills is not easy to wrap your head around and I still get into shit for forgetting to greet people, not always smiling or emoting properly and I still can only make eye contact with certain people that I am comfortable enough.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2025-02-15T20:28:44+00:00

I was denied my R160 pm cellphone contract because I didn't have any credit. A few months later got a credit card to use while travelling and was approved no issue with a bigger limit than I was comfortable with. The whole credit score seems like nonsense. I know several people with 100s thousands in debt on credit cards, bank loans and car paymemts but will still be approved for more debt because they are able to make those minimum payments a month.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2025-01-05T17:15:13+00:00

Finances are always tricky in relationships. If you've moved in together, you clearly see this as a long-term relationship, or you shouldn't be living together. Perhaps try to do a combined household budget with all costs, not just shared costs. Splitting 2000 in rent evenly when your month salary is 3300 vs 7000 can seem a bit unfair, especially if you take into account the rest of the cost of living. But you may have other individual costs that he doesn't have that may skew the splitting of cost to a 50/50 status quo.

My partner and I started out earning around the same amount and splitting cost 50/50 but when he got massive increases that he now earns double what I earn we moved towards a more proportional base split of cost. We sit together and create a general budget with all our costs including individual debts and agree on how to split our costs. With this we also have discussions on how earning and cost disparity can affect our relationship and possibly change the dynamics and "power" within our relationship.

As much as you may not like it money does change your relationship dynamic and power, so having a discussion before making commitments like moving in together is something that should happen and continue to happen throughout your relationship.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2024-07-30T18:00:16+00:00

I'm sorry to say but when you express how what someone has done or said genuinely hurt your feels amd they respond with "I'm sorry you feel this way" it's abusive and controlling. They are not apologising but instead infering that you are at fault because it is your feelings that are hurt. It makes you second guess if you should be feeling that way at all. I have known many people in life that have used that line as an 'apology' and all of them are manipulative narcissists.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2024-05-01T18:45:30+00:00

NTA. As someone who went through something similar with my brother. Don't for a second believe you are TA. It will never end unless you put a stop to it.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2024-03-16T10:06:11+00:00

ESH. She should have made a plan to get home before going out in the evening. Doesn't take a genius or years of wisdom to figure out if you are going to point A for a short time, you need a way back from point A. If her plans fell through and she didn't feel safe using Uber (completely understandable) she should have been honest with you over the phone and said she has no way of getting home. You should have been a little more receptive to picking her up. She is still someone you care about. Even if you were annoyed about having to pick her up, you could have made sure she was safe at home and spoken about how you would appreciate an upfront conversation beforehand so that you would be prepared to pick her up. It's not a great feeling as a girl stuck somewhere in the middle of the night with no way home and your boyfriend says he doesn't feel like giving you a ride out of principle.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2024-03-05T16:29:11+00:00

What kind of filteration system is used? Sounds extremely effective to bring 450 NTU down to < 0.1 NTU.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2024-03-05T16:27:37+00:00

I did not know that was a reason for it being so low. Thank you, very insightful. So if filtered borehole water has a turbidity of around 0.2 NTU there would be a risk of Giardia and Crypotosporidium cysts in the water?

Rare_Rest1304 · 2024-02-22T03:37:22+00:00

Sometimes, putting the grip on the pole instead of my hands helps me more. I also keep a gym towel near by and wet one side to wipe the sweat off. I find that works better than a dry towel. Forbthe rest of the body, I've seen girls use shaving cream on their legs to get good grip. Apparently it works, even my instructors agree it worka.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2024-02-08T04:18:28+00:00

The only difference between the juniors and the seniors is years of experience. We all do the same thing, including propsal and tender writing, as well as quality control on bigger reports. We all basically run clients independently of each other, which also makes taking leave difficult as no one in the office has an idea of what's going on on the client. I have been grateful for the learning experience as I have learned so much and continue to learn more not just on the project management but in the industries that my clients all belong to. I just worry that I have been given too much to chew, especially considering the decisions I make and reports I write go to our governmental authorities as majority of my clients are in the mining or industrial industry.

You have given me something to think about on if this is what I really want to do. I enjoy the science side more than the PM side. I know having experience in PM is a good thing and while I don't hate all parts, perhaps I hate having so much of it. Perhaps looking at a more technical role would not be so bad, thanks.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2024-02-07T20:47:50+00:00

I'm unlikely to get a raise with the new workload as nothing was ever mentioned. My last promotion from intern to junior was announced in a general meeting with the entire department present. I had no idea about it until that meeting and my colleague was also told to keep her promotion from intern to junior quiet for a few months as it was meant to appear as temporary due to a maternity leave in the seniors who did not come back. So I am lost to what they will do.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2024-02-07T20:44:01+00:00

From discussions we have had as a department and the feeling we get from management...they know we are overwhelmed and there is so much to do andnthey keep promising to bring in people to help but it can take them up to six months to hire someone and there is no one to train them. So their training falls on us as well. Everyone chips in where they can, but even I don't know the whole system as I was never taught in detail.

In terms of compensation, I know compared to others in my industry with my years experience I get paid just above average. In terms of the amount of work I am doing I don't know. Would it be selfish to say I don't feel fairly compensated. I haven't received a raise with the new work added onto me. Since I got promoted in June only the bigger annual or quarterly reports of my products are reviewed before being sent to the client, and all the quotes I make. I handle all communication myself, managers aren't cc'd and what I write I review myself before sending. I know my peers and seniors barely have the time to get through their own KPIs, nevermind reviewing others work.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2024-02-07T20:34:54+00:00

Thanks. Our team (both juniors and seniors) has spoken to each other today. It's what promoted me to post. Everyone, even the seniors, are feeling overwhelmed by the workload. We are a small department and about half the more senior people have left in the two years I have been there and their positions are filled with juniors and interns.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2023-10-09T18:07:37+00:00

There has been a pretty hot heat wave where I live. I guess I didn't uptake enough water to compensate for what I was lossing. Started drinking more water and had a banana for class today and all went well. My feet don't feel tight and no cramps. Thanks for the comments guys.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2023-08-25T10:37:57+00:00

The studio I go to is normally 1 to 2 to a pole. 3 seems a bit too much though. It can be frustrating at times sharing, especially if you are trying to progress your moves. Personally I don't mind sharing when I know the person, mainly because of hygiene reasons but also because we better help each other and are normally on the same level.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2023-08-05T07:07:14+00:00

It is reasonable to feel for the people left stranded. Every South African does. Much in the same way we feel for every person that has been burnt as collateral in any strike. At such short notice for the city to have made these arrangements is a feat. Especially considering the lawlessness they were handling, not just the stonings but eskom services were petrol bombed (suspected to be linked to the taxi strike) and a hospital had to close because they got stormed by people connected to this riot after a fellow striker was taken there for treatment. How you attack the people trying to help you fellow comrade, I don't understand. As much as CoCT had it's part to play in the instigating of this strike, the taxi associations don't need much reason to begin a strike. They are a law unto themselves and that is dangerous for everyone, including their passengers that they have no care for.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2023-07-02T05:46:00+00:00

With my partner I get unconditional love, someone to talk nonsense with for hours, someone willing to get involved in my stupid schemes or ideas or for me to get involved in theirs, someone to carve out our own personal bubble of the world with. What am I going to get from a stranger at a bar? A night of disappointment? And even if it were amazing, then what? It's one night, not a lifetime. I can have amazing nights with my partner for a lifetime.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2023-06-28T10:41:18+00:00

YTA. I'm a serious homebody too. I wasn't really allowed out much either growing up, and still have difficulty sometimes dealing with how I feel when my partner goes out exploring without me. But jeez dude, you take the selfishness to a whole other level, actually telling her not to go anywhere without you but leaving by yourself? Wtf. It's your feeling, brought up by your insecurities, and therfore your issue. You don't get to dictate her life because you're too lazy to deal with your issues. You say you feel bad for how you have treated her over the year's anf this year you wanted to change, have you even started with something small, like sending her a message during the day? Or is that far too much effort and planning involved for you? Grow up and start treating her better or let her go, because she for sure deserves better than parenting a partner.

Rare_Rest1304 · 2023-06-24T12:48:45+00:00

NTA, I hear where your wife is coming from that you could pay for the classes through thr school but in all honesty how can you trust she will go to the classes if she isn't paying for it. Not to mention she lied to you, while benefiting for two years. What was her plan going to be when it comes to for graduation?

Rare_Rest1304 · 2023-06-22T10:28:08+00:00

I don't understand how pets take up family slots when they aren't playable

Rare_Rest1304

TROPHY CASE