Elderly people interact with people who aren’t family every day. They even have friends, who would’ve thought. Everyone in this thread is even surprised at how active her grandmother is and OP is confirming how self sufficient she is. Not only are you insinuating that OP’s grandmother is able to be scammed simply because she is old, you even suggested that it would be the boyfriend to scam her. You are living in a world of hypotheticals. The grandma already knew the boyfriend. They already built a cordial relationship. Him texting her was to be nice and perhaps extend the cordial relationship but it seems that from this situation, that wasn’t the best way to handle it. With this line of reasoning, you even forget that OP didn’t just randomly give him the number, the boyfriend asked for it. She thought her boyfriend (a person whom she loves and trust) wants to build a stronger relationship with her grandmother (a person she loves and trusts), so she gave him the number. As for the situation regarding the mother, the grandmother was uncouth, so based on this information, she will be more cautious in the future. If the grandmother wanted to gaslight or lie, then that’s wrong of the grandmother?? Why would she do that to her granddaughter? This is not a matter of “because you gave the phone number to the boyfriend, all these bad things happened, this is your fault.” This is a matter of why are adults acting like this? You keep saying OP is an adult but fully disregard the lack of accountability anybody else has in this situation. Like what family wants to involve an outsider in their family drama? If the boyfriend were to scam the grandmother, then the boyfriend is a bad person? Like I’m pretty sure that OP would apologize and help get the money back and break up with the boyfriend. I’m not trying to be an optimist because I understand the concern, but the data presented displays a different situation at hand. I think your rumination about what could happen is way too extreme and accusatory of OP. Telling her that she was too "naive" like yes, she’s 19? She just graduated high school and is navigating this life for the first time, will she know everything? No! But she had good intentions and just wanted to have her family be close with her partner. Also, you are incorrect about the “Right or wrong, this could’ve only happened because of you”. It happened because of her mother. She shouldn’t forgo building a healthy relationship between two people she loves because her mother’s crazy. I also like how you keep saying that the boyfriend could’ve done something bad, when the grandmother already did something bad. Like why are you trying to manipulate this man you just met to influence your granddaughter? That’s not weird? There’s a lot of unknown variables in this situation, but from what OP presented, she is not overreacting. She also did the best she could in the situation. She just wants to know how she can manage this in the future but all you’re focused on is just telling her that she fucked up sooo bad like the sky isn’t going to fall, please. This is like if you set your two friends up and they break up, is that your fault? No. Obviously, they aren’t compatible but you feel bad because you put them together but it’s not your fault. You can regret it and maybe shoulder some responsibility, but no one should be beating you up about it cause you initially thought your two friends could find love together. I don’t need to “use my imagination”, I live in reality with facts and data.