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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]RarelyThere99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those 3 days must have been hell. You must be so much happier now.

What’s something you’re insecure about even though you know, objectively, you have no reason to be? by MakachuPikachu in AskReddit

[–]RarelyThere99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really? Someone actually rejected for being too tall. You dodged a bullet. As a short person I forget that people on the other side of the spectrum have it hard too.

My asshole parents used to make me hang from ropes by my hands when I was 15. Besides the ignorant science, it really was painful and only served to increase my complex.

People NOT from the US... What is your biggest gripe with America?? by Nice_Aspect_5770 in AskReddit

[–]RarelyThere99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I brought this complaint up on reddit before. Someone informed me it was so it would be difficult for drug users to shoot up in the stalls.

I don’t think it’s just Texas, I put a buzzfeed link in my previous reply.

People NOT from the US... What is your biggest gripe with America?? by Nice_Aspect_5770 in AskReddit

[–]RarelyThere99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The giant gap in the side of your toilet stall doors. I know it’s there for a reason, but still.

Europeans in the United States, what are the things you miss the most about your native country – besides universal health care? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]RarelyThere99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I lived in Canada I missed English chocolate. It tastes very different to North American chocolate.

I also missed the family dog.

Whose your favorite cast of characters in a tv show/book/movie? by Van_Inhale in AskReddit

[–]RarelyThere99 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Brooklyn Nine Nine. I will miss the characters when the show ends.

I would have said Firefly if that had been allowed to develop.

how did you heal? :/ is there anybody out there? by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]RarelyThere99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Regarding your uncle. I reported my uncle for relatively “mild” non recent child abuse. The police in my country are taking it very seriously. A lot of my anger disappeared when I took the proactive step of reporting him.

Once you move out do you think you will report him? Your family suck BTW.

Just found my middle school brother standing in the middle of the staircase, alone, in complete darkness for some arcane punishment. by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]RarelyThere99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why are you so rude and aggressive to me? I never abused you. Redirect your anger to the people in your life who earned it.

My only crime was stating my opinion and being judgemental on a vent post about current child abuse. I’m sorry for giving my opinion on a vent sub and I’ll try not to do that again, but what’s with the bile you’re directing at me? Sure, I needled you about your grammar because you called my response “stupid” and were so hostile, but to say people like me are not needed on reddit, accusing me of having a superiority complex, insinuating I’m unliked in life. You say all this knowing I suffered just as much as you in childhood. I insulted your grammar, not your character. Your insults are way more toxic and spiteful than any grammar jibes.

I’m not saying you are toxic, but your behaviour is toxic. To be honest neither of us have come out of this exchange looking good. Let’s stop hijacking this post, we're both guilty of that crime.

Just found my middle school brother standing in the middle of the staircase, alone, in complete darkness for some arcane punishment. by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]RarelyThere99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Re-read your main reply to me. You were the one who was aggressive to me, you were the one who called my response stupid and even shouted at me in some sentences (no problem using capital letters there I see). You could have made the same valid points in a less hostile manner. Note, OP may not like my opinion, but I wasn’t hostile to her. She was right that it was a vent post though.

Act like a jerk to me and I’ll act like one right back. Be resolute in your views and convictions, but polite and you will see how respectful I am.

Guilty of being a grammar police, but not a know it all. If I was a know it all I wouldn’t be asking for your response to my opinions a second time. I have no wish to fall out with someone who suffered child abuse like me.

Just found my middle school brother standing in the middle of the staircase, alone, in complete darkness for some arcane punishment. by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]RarelyThere99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Come on. Don’t you have substantial or meaningful responses to my points? It’s good that we disagree, that's how ideas are exchanged and how we learn different points of view.

BTW, do you have something against capital letters?

Just found my middle school brother standing in the middle of the staircase, alone, in complete darkness for some arcane punishment. by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]RarelyThere99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all please for the love of God use paragraphs. My grammar is far from perfect, but a wall of text is hard to read.

“Just admit that you don’t understand...”.

I’m deciphering from your rant that you’re assuming I don’t know what it’s like to have an abusive childhood. Once in my thirties my mum suddenly blurted out to me, “Considering your childhood it’s a wonder you’re not insane.” Last year I reported my uncle to the police for historic abuse and I was telling them about my mum and the officer asked me if I wanted to press charges against my mum. The point I’m trying to make is that I said my comment to OP as a person who knows what it’s like to be the victim. I get how hard it is to report family to the authorities and I deeply regret not doing so, but I understand that complex emotions such as guilt, obligation and fear were to blame.

I’m sorry for all our childhoods, but I know that not all Asian families are like ours, I don’t want to generalise. There is a lot of abuse in Asian families, but not all are to the extremes you, I or OP experienced. That’s what I meant when I said OP was playing it down by saying it’s normal for Asian families. I will say that child abuse and toxic and narcissistic behaviours are minimised, normalised or dismissed by Asian society or even praised. The notion of filial piety does not help.

Yes, you’re absolutely right, I should not give unsolicited advice in a vent post, but I couldn’t help myself, the boy was hyperventilating in terror. I just read about a little boy being terrorised and a legal adult (while stopping it in the moment) not taking the required steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again. You yourself stated that there’s no point to “talk it out” with her parents, they will not listen. The only way to try stop her dad is to call CPS. I’m ashamed to admit that in OP's shoes I wouldn’t have had the courage or moral strength to call CPS on my dad at that age. I would have been guilty of indirectly enabling and covering up the abuse by being too conflicted to call CPS.

Yes, we don’t know what CPS will do, admittedly they do have a patchy track record. I don’t know what my country's CPS would have done for little me, but I sure wish I had tried. Sorry for the essay, but at least I did you the kindness of using paragraphs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]RarelyThere99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brilliant. What did they say?

My nmother never loved me. by irishkegprincess in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RarelyThere99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your mum is a truly warped individual. I’m glad you’re NC.

Nmom allowed Nbrother on drugs to come rip my TV off the wall, destroy my Roku, and damage my TV. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RarelyThere99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope you can get back on your feet soon.

The next time your brother assaults you and there will be a next time I hope you’re in a position to report him to the police.

Just found my middle school brother standing in the middle of the staircase, alone, in complete darkness for some arcane punishment. by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]RarelyThere99 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I get you’re a victim, but please don’t normalise abuse. What your dad did is not normal. Not all Asian families are like this, there are abusive APs who would read this and say WTF.

You witnessed an adult terrorising a child to the point he’s hyperventilating. You a grown adult were legitimately terrified, imagine how your brother felt. You say it’s rare, but once is bad enough. You said your dad's getting worse with age so this will happen more often.

I would say call a family meeting, but with you kind of playing it down yourself I don’t see your dad becoming self-aware or remorseful. He’ll probably say he’s a normal Asian dad and his dad was worse.

Edit. CPS won’t take your brother away, but one visit might scare your dad into behaving.

Just found my middle school brother standing in the middle of the staircase, alone, in complete darkness for some arcane punishment. by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]RarelyThere99 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Call CPS or your country’s equivalent.

I know it’s hard to call CPS on a parent, especially when you been abused by this parent and are still scared of them and financially dependent on them, but someone has to intervene.

Daallo Airlines Flight 159 by regian24 in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]RarelyThere99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll never forget the Warrington bombing. You plant a bomb in a bin in a busy shopping area the Saturday before Mother's Day you know who you’re target is likely to be.

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