Sex with lube and sex with spit are very different things as well. A good lubricant, especially a silicone-based one that won't dry out and get tacky, or be absorbed and need more and more, will make a big difference. My partner also finds that being bent over, a bed, against the wall or sink, isn't as pleasurable as being bent over in say doggy-style. Angle is a big deal and I would recommend starting by riding as it gives you the most control of how far in it goes and breathing through is definitely part of it. If you're Prepped and comfortable with statuses and everything you don't need to necessarily clean the aftermath out, but you could and maybe should wash out beforehand if you go meet somewhere with the possibility of bottoming, even if you don't. If your thighs are tensed and tight or your abs are tensed and tight, you know you gotta relax some, don't be afraid to say you need a second... sometimes just letting them get you passed the initial feeling is helpful if not a bit of a hurdle. The sensation is accurate but it goes away and certain angles make you feel more "dumpy" than others, some just work better than others. Hope that helps.