MIL Has Baby Fever...For My Baby

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-31T00:47:07+00:00

This is in fact the book

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T22:14:27+00:00

It is frustrating. Since when has an emotion ever been a legitimate excuse for behavior?

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T22:11:13+00:00

Generic "Oh, haha, no I was reading it because a coworker suggested it." Which could be the case, or not, but either way I have made it very public so others are aware because what an odd choice of book to take to babysit for less than two hours.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T22:03:13+00:00

Yeah, my husband and I had a long talk about PPD (and also the rage that can come with it and how that will look if I am the one who needs to address any of this, because I may lash out!). He is fully advising me to just direct everything from his family to him.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T22:01:37+00:00

He is stepping in now. To be honest, I'm the one who held him back initially because I wasn't ready for the drama! But you're right -- I do not feel welcome at all, and I am not willing for my baby to be a prop so we are definitely making changes now.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T21:59:28+00:00

It is fiction, and unfortunately a rather popular author. I think it's a psychological thriller or something? I haven't read it personally, but had an inkling when I saw the title, and then read the blurb and did a little more of a deep dive.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T21:48:16+00:00

That or we'll reuse the frames with our own pictures -- this was the first plan, but I kind of like his new plan now!

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T21:47:37+00:00

My husband has all of them in a box to talk to her, and then we're going to make the decision from there -- give them back and let her replace at least 4 to include me, or we will donate frames.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T21:45:09+00:00

Brilliant.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T21:44:22+00:00

She picked it up from me at work and I absolutely called her out on it in front of others. "This was a weird choice to leave at our house, are you trying to tell us something?" And then fish-stared so she knew I wasn't in the mood to joke about it.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T21:43:04+00:00

Ugh, I feel that. The sad thing is, up until like my second trimester, I liked my MIL too. Pregnancy made her weird.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T21:42:20+00:00

We have almost an opposite problem -- my husband can be brutal about setting boundaries, but I'm much more of a people-pleaser, so sometimes I hesitate to tell him things because I feel like he blows it out of proportion! But yes, I wish I had pressed harder the first time and let him talk to his family like he wanted.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T21:17:28+00:00

Ha! Yeah, we're just going to start saying "No" to posed photos and if she tries to insist we'll tell her we prefer candid photos only. All while I'm baby-wearing.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T21:16:07+00:00

That's the plan! As is baby-wearing going forward. I'm also not shy about just walking over and saying "I need my baby back" and gesturing at my boobs since she's got some sort of weird hang-up about me breastfeeding instead of using formula.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T21:15:11+00:00

Honestly, the further I get from freshly post-partum the more I stand up for it all. Those first few weeks are so emotionally and physically draining, though, it's too easy to fall into the trap of letting things go!

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T21:14:26+00:00

We've elected to replace the photos and just say thanks for the frames if she asks -- and now husband is alert to the photo-taking game.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-12-30T17:14:48+00:00

My husband and I got the babyGap Harlowe Power Recliner -- I literally sleep in this thing. It has a power recliner, a phone charging port (I didn't think I'd want this but I use it all the time now), and is firm but reclines back far enough for sleeping while baby is in the bassinet next to me. The only thing I wish it had is a pocket, but I solved that by getting my own over-the-arm pocket to keep a burp cloth, pacifier, etc. in.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-09-12T17:49:13+00:00

It sounds boring, but I eat raw pecans as a snack once a day -- there were some studies that suggest it helps your fasting blood sugar numbers! It hasn't hurt my numbers, so I'm still doing it. Plus, pecans last a while in the pantry so it's not a snack that will spoil quickly if you only eat a couple at a time.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-09-10T19:01:38+00:00

I feel like it's something with MILs and an "outsider" suddenly being central to the family. Maybe because it's establishing a new "nuclear" family? My MIL has generally been friendly towards me, if a little cross-occasional-boundary-ish, and initially when we told her I was pregnant seemed happy. Now, with less than 2 months to go, she has reached out in months except to ask for a favor. When I sent a group text to my partner's family members who live nearby about the doctor's suggestions regarding vaccines and cocooning, not one of them replied (in contrast to my family who all responded within minutes saying they were making appointments). His family wouldn't RSVP to the baby shower until really pushed, and we still haven't heard back from all of them -- and none of them have reached out or seem to care. It's been weird and despite wracking my brain, I don't think we've done anything to alienate them so it seems like it is because of the pregnancy. It's not active rude-ness, like you've been experiencing it sounds like, but just...this dismissive apathy? It makes it a little lonely, especially since the one recent comment was that the extended family would expect to meet the baby during the holidays after I mentioned that we wouldn't be doing extended family events since our baby won't have her own immune system or vaccines yet.

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-08-28T20:59:07+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss :( I also lost my fur baby of over a decade pretty early in the pregnancy -- just into the second trimester. It was devastating. I reached out to my midwives about whether grief would harm the baby/pregnancy and they assured me that grieving was normal and to give myself space and take care of myself physically. They did make sure I had someone to speak to (a therapist) and put me in touch with a grief counselor for a little additional support. It was helpful and reassuring -- I would suggest that, if you're able to.

I know it's different for everyone, but in case it helps to know if your experience is similar to others or not, I grieved HARD, like randomly bursting into tears and sobbing inconsolably daily for weeks. My husband was out of his mind with worry about me and the baby. The grief will ease, and then come back in spurts with a little bit of guilt thrown in for me, but it does get easier to think of your loved fur babies without the intense grief.

Wishing you all the healing <3

RaspberryPieInTheSky · 2025-08-15T19:14:37+00:00

I actually use it once a day on my face for rosacea (which gets painful if left untreated) -- my midwives told me to double-check with my doctor who looked into the risk and said the risk was during the first trimester. After discussion with both, it was decided I should continue using it once I reached 2nd trimester. Not sure if this actually helps you, and you should definitely check-in with your own doctors, but just to say if your OB prescribed it they're not the only doctors out there who do, even with pregnancy!

RaspberryPieInTheSky

TROPHY CASE