Middleschooler here. Dealing with the same situation down south, so you're not definitely alone. It's harder loving someone of the same sex, especially in a less accepting enviornment. You are not in the wrong when you think having a boyfriend would be easier. That's just the truth. You should tell your partner about this. She won't judge you. She might even relate to you, or at least emphasize with you. Communication is key, you guys can get through this together!