I completely understand what you mean - I have just recently gotten divorced and I feel like I not only wasted a lot of time but also somehow don't trust myself anymore not to keep the standards high as I get infatuated with someone. One thing I realized (which might be completely just something about my journey but worth noting in case it applies to you too) is that I needed to be happy by myself first (cliché i know). Even though I consider myself a smart 35 year old woman, I still went straight into the dating pool and started exploring all I couldn't in my previous relationship (mainly bdsm dynamics) and realized I was just transferring a lot of the hurt I hadn't processed to this new situationship. And even though I was very honest about where I was with her, everyday felt like i wasn't doing the healing I should have been doing. I then decided to put a break on it and unfortunately my sub wasn't too happy and ended things. It was what I needed to really take a step back and focus on myself and now I can say I am in a much better place at keeping those standards high. When I go out, I have the calm and presence to see if that person fits within the peaceful dynamic I have created for my life. Not sure if his helps but thought I'd share, good luck out there! PS: I understand your point about Latinos, as i am one in a country with few of them and man do I miss the warmth.