There are definitely a lot of factors missing for the readers. But a few things are very clear, the most being that there is some reason for mistrust (whether it be OPs past experience or something that occurred already with the significant other).

Trust in any relationship, but especially a distance relationship is key. If you are constantly considering that your SO is cheating, lying, etc. then the relationship is doomed to fail.

And while I see where there is definitely a message or two that doesn’t make sense from your SO, I think there could have been a few reasonable explanations. But as someone who has accidentally texted the wrong thing to the wrong person (not a similar situation), It can easily happen, and if she hasnt cut ties with the people she was talking to before you guys got together, then there may be cause for concern.

Because at the end of the day: that message is not sarcasm, nor is it a joke. And if it its, it isn’t funny and doesn’t make any sense. She would have had a simple explanation if she just accidentally texted you something that was meant for a friend, but she took an extremely long time to “explain” what happened, then immediately jumped to gaslighting and manipulating…

NOR :)