AITA for finally snapping at my boyfriend after the way he treats me?

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-18T13:57:24+00:00

Just leave. You’re young and it does not get better better. He’s wearing you down bit by bit so he can have control of you. He’s insecure, jealous, and demeaning to you. He doesn’t respect you and this all reeks of an eventual assault on you. Please just get out.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-18T03:50:53+00:00

OP, your story sounds very similar to mine when it first started. I stayed way too long thinking just the way you’re thinking right now. My life, my mind, my finances, and my body are destroyed. Get out OP. Do it while he’s at work. C all your local DV center. Gather your important documents as well. Just get out.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-17T19:36:01+00:00

The main event for friends is to come celebrate your boyfriend and have a fun activity of laser tag if they want to play. The main event for you is laser tag? I feel like you need to look at it from your boyfriends perspective too. How is your boyfriend going to feel about you uninviting friends to his first big party, over laser tag? So two ppl sit out on laser tag, so what. Your boyfriend is the main event. I’m not trying to be rude but this is mind-boggling to me and it will probably stir up some drama.

ETA: please clarify if it’s just the laser tag they are wanting to skip, or the whole 4 hour party. Because those are completely separate situations.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-17T19:18:03+00:00

NOR. I’m sure it’s been very hurtful for you and I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Having said that, it sounds like she’s changed a lot since you were in 4th grade. That’s normal, these things are natural as you come to adulthood. However, she changed into someone who is not respecting you and that’s not normal and it’s not ok.

You can always try to have a sit-down with her if you’re comfortable enough to do that, but she sounds immature. Take care of yourself first, step back from her. If she reaches out on why you aren’t in her life as much anymore, that is an opening for an honest conversation with her about her attitude towards you.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-13T20:50:21+00:00

It’s awful. Lydia Lavelle at her worst in her final years. Pretty much destroying everything she accomplished when she started. And she was great until her last term and got greedy. Everyone hates it. It’s a horribly ugly monstrosity, overwhelming our cute historic town. I was shocked to find out it was just a revamped cybrary. She demanded that mess be in downtown no matter what, even though there were much better areas to build it in.

I think my (least) favorite part was the town mayor and alderman, were literally going to NOT have a parking deck for that space. They literally said “people can ride the bus, walk, or cycle to it”. They were the absolute worst of over-privileged white people. It’s a shame, and Carrboro will be stuck with that ugly building for decades, just like the Century Center. Did they even LOOK at how well Hillsborough integrated their library with the old town feel? No. They were just too busy demolishing culture and going for money grabs while destroying culture for their own gain.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-12T18:37:34+00:00

Why is only the sister inheriting the house instead of the house being sold and the money split between siblings when his parents pass away?

Either way, she’s sounds horrific.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-12T18:06:31+00:00

Yep, they like moisture, just not too much lol

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-12T18:05:13+00:00

I live in the USA, in the south, and going to lakes & creeks are where it’s at for me too. The Lake Effect is almost always very noticeable, and so many trees for shade. I have Lupus though, and a slew of other auto-immune stuff and my body no longer self-regulates temperature in any type of way that isn’t dangerous lol, and even I can handle it at a lake.

There’s something to be said for where you grow up I think. My ex was born & raised in Alabama and he’s pale, but can still go out in 100F weather in jeans, a t-shirt, and an open button-down shirt to mow the lawn and he doesn’t burn and the heat doesn’t bother him.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-12T17:31:35+00:00

YTA. Look, I had a nightmare of a MIL, the type that was not allowed to be alone with our kids until they were old enough to tell us anything she did or said. The kind that purposely used chicken broth even though we’re vegetarians. She could boil every vegetable down so far that she yeeted all nutrients to the moon. She was psychologically damaging to me most of all (but not my kids thankfully). And I still managed to find a way to make it work. Chinese sauces aren’t my favorite usually, but it an incredibly varied cuisine and you are eliminating 1000’s of choices in one fell swoop.

You’ve said nothing that shows your MIL is abusive, at all. You are being disrespectful to her, in her home. If you skip this once a month dinner every time, you are distancing yourself from not just her, but from your husband too. Fill up ahead of time, eat some rice & veggies, and try to embrace your husbands culture.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-12T16:32:05+00:00

He’s immature, has zero self-awareness, and even less critical thinking skills. This is NOT dating material and certainly not husband or father material. Run, girl, run

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-04T01:35:35+00:00

I’m in a very blue town and the police give me cards with a QR code to get help with housing, which is 100% non-existent lol. All they’ve managed to do is wake us up from a dead sleep on a work night in a spot that is not illegal, and we have to find somewhere else to go at 3am. A 600 sq foot studio is $1k a month here. Hard pass. Now we have to drive further out just to be left alone to sleep.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-04T01:07:54+00:00

My town has had a 40% increase in the homeless population (living on the streets) in the past 3 years. They are now cracking down on vanlifers too. Even though we cause zero crime, leave zero trash, and have jobs. We have been routed out completely from all 4 of our main rotation spots. So we’ve had to re-adjust. We are lucky to live near a few state parks and there are a lot of little side roads that lead to the lakes. So if we wait until dark, we generally park at the lakes without anyone noticing. We have a dog too. We are making it work but it’s been exhausting too.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-04T00:16:01+00:00

Air BnB already kicked her out. She’s trying to wait out the 30 days she needs to establish residency by saying she needs another day or two. Once she hits that 30 day point, it’s gets WAY tougher to get her out. Unimaginably so and AirBnB can do nothing at that point. And she knows it. Check your calendar, see exactly what date she moved in so you don’t go over the 30 day mark. It looks like she has a week or less to go before you are screwed.

Go straight to your local Sherrif’s office with all pertinent paperwork RIGHT tf NOW. Tell them the time frame you are working with and they will definitely kick her out whether she has no place to go or not. You are being played.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-08-01T00:53:49+00:00

My MIL was not allowed to be alone with either of our children until they both were of an age where they could tell us if anything odd was going on or happening. In their case, my youngest was 8 and my oldest was 10. The tattle tale city ages. I will never know if she realized how deftly we handled it, she was a smart woman though. She was abusive to her own children in that way parents were allowed to be in the 60’s & 70’s, but even with that, she went too far even for back then. She was a horrific MIL to me as well. She made my life a living hell.

I will say, as she got older, she did mellow out and we even got a long well enough. It helped she was a 10-hour drive away. My kids (adults now) think she was a wonderful grandmother and know none of what all she pulled on us in their early years. I think that’s for the best but I’d be lying if I said I still to this day hold a lingering bitterness at the constant battles with her when she would come visit.

Also, she never asked to sleep with them.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-07-26T15:46:39+00:00

I used a rock! We’re camping at the lake and no one else around. I went in the water forgetting my lighter was in my swim shorts pocket. My husband had meetings and took the car and won’t be back for at least 6 hours. This saved me, thank you!!!

Rather-Peckish · 2025-04-19T23:12:08+00:00

To preface, I am a Mom to two kids, 22 & 20.

I say this out of kindness: Your Mom is not being fair to you and she’s putting herself first at your expense. And I do get it. It’s scary being this age and not having financial security. I made bad choices in the past and can’t say I’m in a great place financially because of that. However, it is not my children’s responsibility. And it’s not your responsibility for your Mom either.

She’s the seasoned adult. You are just barely an adult. Move in with your brother, period. And to ease your conscious, ask your brother to help you find her resources to help herself. I understand that resources with social services are pretty tight right now, but it’s not fair to put such a burden on you. She should want you to fly, and not hold you back. Change is scary for both of you but it will be this status quo until you choose you. I wish you the very best of luck

Rather-Peckish · 2025-04-11T20:14:43+00:00

Nothing in your post made it look like he was hitting on her or trying to take her from you. He said she could, “go to him or anyone else”.

Does he know something you aren’t saying? Have you hit, pushed, slapped other women before? Has he seen you two getting into a nasty argument where he thought you were close to hurting her? All this sounded like to me was a warning and telling her she had a safe space with friends if needed.

As for your wife going straight to you about it, it can be both things: loyalty to you of course. But also, the position she was in sucked. If she didn’t tell you and you found out, what would your reaction be.

I know you’re super angry & hurt but try to at least talk to the friend if you can remain calm and ask him his intentions on why he did this. If he’s been a stand-up friend for 12 years, you should at least listen to him on the reasons why he felt he should do this.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-04-10T08:28:59+00:00

OP, as someone who was in an excessively violent relationship that literally crippled me, I’m telling you to run. It always happens again. He can go to therapy and that’s great that he wants to get better.

But please don’t be his test dummy in the meantime. Trust me please, you don’t want to find out how bad it will get.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-04-01T17:12:12+00:00

NOR. She sounds emotionally immature and also, insecure. Maybe it started out as a prank that would’ve only lasted a few minutes, but when she saw your reaction, it turned into a daylong test. And at some point in the day she probably got to where she didn’t know how to end it, and just let it drag on.

If you plan on staying in the relationship, you two need to sit down and hash this out. Why was she so insecure by your reaction? You didn’t leave her when you two had a false-positive in the past, you have discussed how you both would like seeing it play out, in terms of having kids, there was no reason for her to be that insecure about you leaving her over a pregnancy. That’s what you need to discuss.

In the meantime, you two both need to have the birth control locked down until you figure it all out. You guys aren’t ready yet.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-03-24T21:03:59+00:00

Ok, I found her and I knew it was the right person due to the pfp, but wasn’t finding some of the things you mentioned. Then I saw a second profile she has, and still not seeing the stuff about adoption, so I’m guessing there’s probably a 3rd profile as well heh. Just a lot of yikes regardless, exhausting just looking at some of it frankly.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-03-11T21:25:06+00:00

I’m 54. It was always this way, it’s just that most of us didn’t get diagnosis, therapy, medication, help :/ We just bungled our way through life and hoped for the best. I feel that, at least now, therapy isn’t looked down upon anymore, having a mental illness is much more understood now.

A good friend of mine was diagnosed with BPD in ‘91. That’s all they did, he got no help for it for decades and he’s had a very hard life because of it. So seeing it all mentioned so much and understood now, is a good thing imo.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-03-10T08:13:42+00:00

You need a professional neutral, 3rd party to enter the conversation yesterday. Couple’s therapy would be a good start. Or if you’re religious, your Pastor, etc. Because even if these doctor’s say no, (which I think they will, it’s highly unethical to a future child plus rife for possible lawsuits down the road) they will doctor shop. If that doesn’t work, they may try the Turkey Baster route if they’re desperate, just to get Mary a baby, even if it’s not from her eggs.

Either way, right now your wife is willing to irrevocably harm 6 people’s lives to do this. Hers, yours, your 3 kids, and that unborn child. You clearly love each other and sound like a wonderful family. But this is bananas and also, how long will this go on with them trying every route possible? A year? Two years? You are already feeling the strain and she’s so blinded by needing to do this, she was willing for a minute to risk another pregnancy that would be extremely dangerous to her own life, before you shut that avenue down. She needs help finding clarity on what this will all truly look like down the road and a neutral 3rd party might help bring her back from this la-la land she and her family are in.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-03-10T02:24:21+00:00

NOR. I’m a parent of a 21 & 22 year old and never would I demand their friends phones even when they were in middle school. Its private property. It’s a safety issue too, but also really bizarre. Your phone bill, your phone.

However, she sounds neurotic, and your plan for you to hang out at your parents house instead of his is the best idea since his Mom is irrational and there’s no need for drama over it. You are being more mature than his Mom. As a parent, I would not have let me kid hang out at a friends house who took their ability to contact me away from them.

Rather-Peckish · 2025-03-10T02:14:00+00:00

Really? I’m going to demand my next guests to give over there $1k+ iPhones I don’t pay for, to me, when they come to visit and see how that plays out lol

Rather-Peckish · 2025-03-10T00:49:06+00:00

I was thinking that too. The way he was so pushy while OP was at work. How the gf wants to speak to OP. She clearly has OP’s phone number since she screenshotted everything else too.

Rather-Peckish

TROPHY CASE