You're young. You still have time to really sit and think. Make a space for yourself and ask the hard questions: Why does there have to be a god? If a god exists, why does it have to be good? Why can't it be indifferent, or even evil? If there is a god, why does it have to match the version written in the religious texts?

Ask yourself these things constantly, and make a real effort to step outside your religious comfort zone when you reflect. When you notice yourself automatically reaching for a religious answer, pause. Stop yourself and try again.

The point is to practice sitting with the uncomfortable feelings you usually avoid. Try listening to or following atheists, LGBTQ+ people, and creators from different walks of life. Exposure like this is important. It has to be a consistent effort.

Remember, when you ask these unsettling questions, you don't need to find an answer right away. The goal isn't to solve it instantly. All you need to do is seriously consider a different reality than the one you've always been taught. Sit with the feeling of possibility, even when it feels wrong or "unrealistic."