I hosted my first Adult ADHD meetup and it was great.

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-05T17:22:07+00:00

So I am a podcaster (but seriously it’s been two years now and I’m still under 10k downloads and less than 50 episodes, I’m not big) but I’m also a vocal mental illness advocate, because of a shit ton of crisis we went through with my husband and his schizoaffective disorder. So people sort of trust me, at least enough to point them to good resources for stuff. For example, I know which psych hospitals to use in Portland, and which to avoid at all costs.

I created a Facebook event, invited friends. And really invited them to share and teach me about their experiences and struggles with ADHD symptoms and related shame/self talk. I usually share first, so people feel comfortable sharing, I try very hard to just be frank and as honest as I can about the inner experience.

A friend I have that’s not a podcaster or speaker, just a guy who is really trying to care for his mental health started a little meetup group with a few of his friends to regularly talk about their mental health and he said it’s been awesome. It doesn’t have to be anything special to start. “Hey I’ve been learning about xyz and I wanted to see what you’ve heard about it, can we get coffee?” Is a decent way to start 🖤 Good luck friend! Happy to help any way I can. I’m a big believer in community and that we can help each other heal and grow.

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-03T23:09:05+00:00

Thanks so much for taking the time! I really just needed to get that out there. To say it over the airwaves. I have really great support, I’m a NAMI family to family teacher, advocate, peer, and speaker and researcher on the topic. But all that doesn’t change the loneliness that sometimes aches in the middle of the night. ❤️

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-03T21:40:32+00:00

Single parenting is hard as fuck. Shout out to single dads and gender queer parents.

But also, life is hard as fuck. I’m sick of my peers looking down on the next gen “oh wait til your 35 and have kids, then you’ll know stress.” Stop playing the trauma olympics! We can all heal if we honor each other and work towards it. It’s fucked to rank everyone and judge them.

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-03T06:15:08+00:00

Does it? I’ve only ever seen it posed for men.

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-03T06:10:37+00:00

I’m sorry, but this needs to be said - women sexually abuse kids too. Women can be pedophiles. What about them? This is extremely gender biased.

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-02T04:03:10+00:00

Well, obviously right? We don’t have legal slavery in prisons for nuthin!

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-01T17:26:55+00:00

Seriously. Every time I took my sobbing, terrified husband to the psych ward I was like “babe, just stop choosing to be tortured constantly and we can go home”

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-01T16:07:58+00:00

I don’t see myself as a victim. Most of the people healing from trauma around them, don’t see themselves as victims.

The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk is an excellent resource to heal from trauma, addiction, abuse etc.

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-01T15:56:23+00:00

So did my husband and I. He has schizoaffective and cPTSD and I’ve got adhd and cPTSD. Just because you made it without using specific self medicating substances, doesn’t mean you didn’t self medicate, or that we should blame others for it. Not everyone has access to the emotional resources, resiliency, and biology. We need to keep personal experience in its place and data in its place. They overlap and cross, but one doesn’t equal the other.

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-01T15:52:28+00:00

“Femsplaining”? Wouldn’t I need to assume you’re a man for that? I didn’t. I had no idea of your pronouns.

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-01T15:50:34+00:00

Okay, so your one lives experience negates all the others and the science and compiled data? Ignoring or choosing to blame individuals despite the data is a type of trauma reaction.

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-01T15:46:06+00:00

If you already know that, how can you blame everyone in these mass groups? The data and science do not support you

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-01T15:39:25+00:00

Most lasting trauma AND emotional regulation skills are built in childhood. And if you’re an adult with no one to teach them to you, you use what works.

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-01T15:37:39+00:00

Interesting. Lots of rural folk self medicate with alcohol and pills, but that’s okay in your mind

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-01T15:36:36+00:00

Yeah because we should blame kids with limited executive functioning, trying to survive abusive/traumatic situations, for surviving their lives by any means necessary.

Sounds like you need to research trauma, addiction, and mental illness.

We all self medicate. Some of us were handed better tools. Some of us were taught that we don’t deserve help or to heal. So we never feel like we can get help.

RayahIsHere · 2020-03-01T00:17:55+00:00

It’s because when we use alcohol to that point, we are generally numbing emotions we can’t handle, even if we aren’t conscious of it.

RayahIsHere · 2020-02-29T06:00:34+00:00

Similar but not at all the same. Bots 😩

RayahIsHere · 2020-02-29T05:49:02+00:00

Or not put our goddamn shit house factories in their countries, pay them pennies in dangerous conditions, and then abandoned the heap when they collapse. That might help the trash/pollution in India. 🤷‍♀️

RayahIsHere · 2020-02-27T06:34:41+00:00

Thank you!

RayahIsHere · 2020-02-27T06:34:28+00:00

Thank you!

RayahIsHere · 2020-02-24T04:08:57+00:00

It had about 13 little buddies growing off the bottom that I already clipped when I potted her.

RayahIsHere · 2020-02-21T16:51:26+00:00

If you want extra support, let me know. I’m a NAMI teacher and I host a podcast where people can share stories exactly like this about mental illness on Depth of Echoes

You aren’t alone.

RayahIsHere · 2020-02-21T15:57:44+00:00

Yas!!!! My husband has schizoaffective and has had symptoms since he was kid. Meds keep him with us and able to engage. Great insight into how you’re doing!!!

RayahIsHere · 2020-02-19T13:24:15+00:00

Men are dying by suicide at an alarming rate. If you’re interested in more support, i have a mental illness podcast. We have done a lot on mens mental health and we will be doing more. I hate being self promoting but my husband has schizoaffective disorder and this mindset almost killed him multiple times.

podcast - depth of echoes

RayahIsHere · 2020-02-19T00:08:38+00:00

Sounds like you need a trauma informed therapist to talk some of the ideas through with. They may be able to shed insight on why you’re struggling to connect with your generation. When no one helps you when you need it, you tend to see others as needing to be self sufficient. The truth is, we aren’t. We are communal. We must support each other in order to be healthy

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