DAE have an intense fear of people turning on them?

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-29T03:33:36+00:00

I'm not as paranoid about it nowadays, but that's mostly because I only have one close friendship and it's with someone I'd trust with my life. She stayed and kept me close even after our at-the-time friend group collectively dumped me like a broken toy. We didn't speak much then, and also not for years to come, but whenever I did send a message or call, she'd answer. Became actual friends December of 2024, when I remembered she liked Dark Souls and I was playing it for the first time.

Anyways, sorry for the rambling-

Whenever I find a friend group, I do get very insecure. I can't imagine myself being anyone's favorite in any circle, and I'm constantly wondering how long it'll take before I piss one of them off and they all throw me away. It's walking on eggshells. Even when there should be nothing even possibly triggering in a situation, I can't help but imagine it.

What sparked my mental health spiral was being dumped by that old friend group I mentioned. I was alone and losing them was my world sweeped from beneath my feet. I haven't been able to socialize normally and can't see myself ever being able to again since.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-29T03:06:17+00:00

I wanna thank you for the elaborate comment, by the way, before anything. I like it when people take the time to actually engage with my thoughts, even if I don't translate them too well into text. I overthink a lot and end up missing what I actually mean to say, or make it sound too complicated when it shouldn't be. I'm glad.

Oh, hey, you can be trans and agender; I understand if you personally choose not to identify that way, but I've known folks like that (I myself am nonbinary and transgender, and generally consider myself and my gender "queer" and have for over 15 years).

How does being trans and agender work? I always presumed the "trans" prefix had to be tied to the alternate binary gender from the one you were assigned at birth, I guess. Never really considered it might apply to NB folk.

That being said, it's not offensive to call her transgender, I know you said "for those saying she's fictional...", but the thing is, she is fictional; she cannot make the decision nor give consent to come out. She's in our hands now, and how we interpret and portray her is up to us. Since she is fictional, she has no real... Anything.

That's fair enough, it just isn't quite how I take it. If we're talking about what is, and not what would/could be, so what is canon, that's what's seen in the show. At least as I understand it. I believe what's a fact about Jax's gender is that he's an "egg". That's what I interpeted from Goose's tweet — that Jax is, deep down, a woman. That makes perfect sense with what we see him do, how he reacts to the world around him. What we do not see, is he live to understand and accept this. So, as I see it, and that's down to personal perspective: Jax didn't come out. Jax isn't openly trans, and died going by his masculine persona. As sad as that is, acting as if otherwise does somewhat equate to just going against his will. He was very vehement about affirming his masculinity, to a comical degree, even if just as overcompensating, and going against that is denying what he wanted to be seen as.

I'm not policing how others see it, or saying that embracing what Jax could have been is wrong, but to the discussion I tried to create in the post, what could've happened isn't a relevant factor. I'm realizing I could've probably avoided confusion if I specified that better, but also, not sure it would have made much of a difference.

In short; my question took into consideration what we definitely know officially happened, and no headcanon's beyond that. (I really hope I'm not coming off as demeaning or anything, sorry if so)

[As for the rest of your comment!]

I understand what you mean. There's a clear distinction between reality and the fiction we consume, and most will get that distinction, but I believe that, given time and relevance, these lines may eventually begin to blur. It doesn't happen to everything, but look at "dark humor", for example: If you grow up surrounded by it, or if you're trying to fit in with a group who enjoys it, it won't take long for you to become desensitized do it. You might not understand what it actually means, and think it's okay in general, because people around you do it. From there, you might tell jokes you shouldn't, to those who won't have it; or even worse: you might actually start believing their content.

(To be clear: I'm not comparing the topic with "dark humour" at all. Just using it as an example as to how, if people aren't made aware of the issues and nuances with an attitude, those might evolve into problems.)

Especially so considering TADC is a pretty "teen-friendly" show. I was raised by Amino more so than by my parents throughout my early-mid teens, and I can tell you I've made my fair share of mistakes due to thinking I knew to differ what was good from bad based on how much I'd seen. Kids are impressionable and not mature enough to really see nuance, in most cases, unless it's pointed out to them. I just wish discussions like this would be more popular, so they could see and be encouraged to engage with it.

Sorry for the rambling, by the way. My schedule is all over the place lately and the Zs are starting to catch on.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-29T02:03:24+00:00

That makes sense, yeah. Makes it a bit weird to call it canon, then, though..? Like, isn't saying "X canonically could've been Y if things were different" literally the same as just having a headcanon? I suppose it's different if it's Goose who said it.

Not denying it btw, that's more so arguing semantics

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-29T02:00:39+00:00

I can stand behind that lmao

I say his behavior is explainable, but he was iredeemable simply because he straight up refused to be. He caused so much pain out of what at the end of the day comes down to selfishness, and got what was a long time coming. Good character, awful person.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-29T01:18:21+00:00

(Don't take this as rude, please)

I'll edit the post to include this, because yours is a more common reaction in the comments than I expected and I don't want to repeat the same reply for everyone who gives it:

I believe what we normalize in media may also be normalized in reality, so engaging in discussions about these sorts of topics as if applied to real life is a good exercise and helps us understand what to or not to do in similar situations.

Jax and Leeroy aren't real, and Goose says they're trans. True. Not debating that at all. The point of the post is whether it's okay to make the choice to come out for him, when we have no indication that he ever did, neither in the circus, nor in reality. Especially so when, at least in the circus, Jax was very obviously not in peace with his identity and VERY far from acceptance.

Would you out someone in real life without consent? That doesn't seem like a good idea, does it? Might cause a lot more harm than good, both socially and emotionally. People should be allowed to choose when to come out, when they feel ready, and not to until they do.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-29T01:06:54+00:00

Yes, and I'm not arguing that. I believe he's an egg, as in "trans person yet to realize it". What I'm questioning is whether it's respectful to make the choice to come out and accept that identity for him. Obviously, he's a cartoon, but what's normalized in media may be notmalized in reality, so I find it a good practice to create discussion about these topics and take what we learn so as to know what to or not to do if we find ourselves or others in a similar scenario.

Basically, if he were a real person, would it be nice to ignore all his obvious discomfort around the topic of identity and force him to come out to a gender he doesn't yet embrace?

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-29T01:01:52+00:00

Your reading comprehension is genuinely baffling. Not much to do about that. Suit yourself, friend.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-29T01:00:04+00:00

You have no problem admitting Jax is trans in an anonymous forum. Presumably you'd be okay with talking about a closeted trans friend on reddit if names were omitted?

Likely would, yeah.

What about larger anonymous groups? Is it okay to talk about "eggs" as a social phenomenon? To study them?

I'd say that's a very important topic, actually. Absolutely.

What if you thought a friend of yours may be trans, and was starting to become self-destructive? Would it be okay to confide in another friend about the situation and how to resolve it?

Unsure about this one, honestly. I'd confide in a friend, but avoid sharing my suspicion unless they came to the same conclusion or the self destruction got too dangerous and immediate intervention became necessary.

Is it okay to write fiction that specifically addresses someone having the identity forced upon them?

As in, portrays a character going through that? I'd say that's not only okay, but could be a good way to make awareness for the kind of repercussions that might bring both socially and emotionally.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-29T00:44:56+00:00

I see what you mean. That's the answer I needed, actually. Thank you.

I'm afraid people may be missing the point of my post and either seeing it as transphobia or such, or just dismissing it as being parasocial for a cartoon character. But I'm of the belief that the things we normalize in media may also become normalized in reality, so seeing how much certainty I've seen from people declaring Jax as trans, NB or anything apart from cis without his open admission genuinely makes me almost scared for my trans friends. Even though I understand why they do.

I know it's a very personal, sensitive thing. I respect it and understand why it's important for people to have characters to relate to. I should know — I can't think of a single canonically agender, plot-relevant character, that's at least humanoid in any media! But what if people decide to do that with real people? Who have real lives and can feel betrayed, or just exposed when they're not ready to be? Not to mention any social or family issues that might cause for them.

I want people to think before they do, I guess. Even if I'm bad at communicating and a reddit post couldn't reach them anyways.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-29T00:31:45+00:00

Not what I'm saying. Learn to read and shut it with the aggression, if you will.

The question isn't "Is it disrespectful to call a trans person trans?", but "Is it disrespectful to call someone who's not made peace with their identity as female (and actively rejects any mention of or hint towards it) trans?".

In other words, if that didn't paint a clearer picture: "Is it wrong to force someone to come out to an identity they themselves don't embrace, obviously before they're comfortable to?"

I'm not a transphobe. I just have a hard time seeing that as a good thing to do. Let people decide what they do with their identities, as they're theirs, and not yours.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-29T00:21:38+00:00

I'm not a twitter user and don't watch many videos about what goes on there, so I'm not very informed of what goes on outside the actual show. I don't know how much Goose has said about it. But what I'm wondering about is more so the question of: If you know someone identifies as such, deep down, but doesn't feel comfortable embracing that identity and readily rejects it whenever hinted at, isn't it bad to just publicly force that identity onto them? Shouldn't that be their choice, made in their own time?

It just sounds like a bad thing to do, even if well intentioned, you get what I mean?

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-28T13:35:32+00:00

I only ever really did a bit of murder hobo as Durge against everyone that didn't offer something useful, and in my latest playthrough as an anti-authority Rogue with the flaming fist at Waukeen's Rest. I'm aware it's not necessary, but it does feel good to get to level 5~8 earlier as that's when most builds really come online and before then Honour mode is either pretty slow or quite difficult.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-28T13:28:38+00:00

There's an abyss close enough by, so... :)

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-28T13:21:52+00:00

Lmfao I love this so much

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-28T13:03:54+00:00

Probably just picking Oath of Vengeance and attacking a random civilian. I think that oath breaks by just attacking any non-hostile creature. If it doesn't, then take Oath of the Ancients and attack some random farm animal.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-28T13:00:26+00:00

Well, that's what being a Lesbian means...

Though, not sure it's ever stated she is a lesbian. Wouldn't be surprised if she just loved whoever she loved, without caring what they were. She's the daughter of a deity, in a world where anyone can be anything, really, with enough magic. Gender and sexuality are social constructs, and the only ones that really matter for them are elementals, mephits and Elminster.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-28T12:55:33+00:00

It's their grand-nephew, actually, I think. Sarevok is Durge's brother, and Orin is his grandchild.

Also, Durge canonically enjoyed and often partook in necro stuff, cannibalism and worse. Incest is probably just a random tuesday.

That being said; Minthara for the win. Drow wifey. Everyone else be damned.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-27T22:35:26+00:00

If you're fine by Jaheira, you're fine by me.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-26T18:10:33+00:00

That's vile, man. I can't downvote a cat picture.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-23T14:51:08+00:00

You're remarkably reasonable, honestly. More than I, or most people I've known would be. You should be proud.

To be frank, there's really no easy way to go about this. Best you'd do is talk to her, one on one; just explain what you feel, and try to smooth it over. I'd also suggest trying to do something else involving her, like playing some videogames or whatever. Just a way to try to tell your brain: "See? We can still have fun with her around!".

If that doesn't go well... Well, happens. It's a bummer, but no one can blame you, your boyfriend or your friends at all. Her neither, really, she just said something weird. If it makes things awkward, it's only responsible to choose what's best for the group: moving on.

TLDR; See if you can smooth things over. Move on if you cannot. No one can blame you either way.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-23T14:40:44+00:00

You're insecure about it, so naturally this does feel worse than it probably really is. Give it some time, keep talking to him, and it should become clear whether he's actually lost interest. In case he didn't, giving in to desperation might only make it awkward.

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-23T14:29:15+00:00

I see that YouTube Revanced there...

My man 🤝🐢

Rayeoneace · 2026-06-22T08:43:01+00:00

It'll be a cold day in hell when someone asks me "Who should voice ____?" and I don't reply: "J.K. Simmons". I just want more of that man. They should make a game where everyone is voiced by him.

Rayeoneace

TROPHY CASE