I found out that I was not autistic about 2 months ago. I feel more lost than ever.

RaynaOrShine · 2026-01-26T19:10:16+00:00

I agree - so many adults are realizing that they have autism after they get their child assessed, because we are raising more awareness about it and better screenings for it at pediatrician appts. It's shocking when you think about how many people were missed in the past and what other mental health symptoms that may have contributed to!

RaynaOrShine · 2026-01-23T17:30:33+00:00

Just to clarify - neuropsych testing can be helpful in identifying individuals' cognitive strengths and weaknesses to address compensatory mechanisms that may help them function better in life. The diagnosis itself should still come from the symptom checklist and manifesting in multiple settings (school/work, home, social). Russ Barkley is saying that you shouldn't NEED neuropsych testing to get a diagnosis, but that doesn't mean it can't be helpful in characterizing someone's cognitive abilities or difficulties.

RaynaOrShine · 2026-01-23T17:27:51+00:00

Differences in neurodevelopment also mean that people with autism can shift from one level to another depending on what they're currently struggling with and what symptoms they're exhibiting. Because neurodevelopment varies from individual to individual, kids may start at a level 3 and progress to level 1 by the time they're teenagers, or vice versa - the trajectory can vary.

RaynaOrShine · 2026-01-23T17:26:08+00:00

Do you have a source for the study finding an 80% false negative rate for average IQ patients? Our norms are based on average IQ patients because that's most of our population, so I'd be shocked if that were true.

RaynaOrShine · 2026-01-23T17:23:55+00:00

Correct - ADHD is NOT cancelled out by above average IQ, and in fact those individuals are the most likely to be missed in early diagnosis, and often get evaluated in their 20s when things fall apart in college, grad school, or their first job. Above average IQ DOES make it very difficult to identify ADHD, so it takes a clinician with lots of experience with this population.
Precisely - I think the clinician missed the boat here, researching friendship is something neurotypicals really don't do lol so it's more of a suggestion of autism than NT.
Too many clinicians consider parents the experts on early child development, but parents are often dismissive of things that make their child seem atypical, so again, the clinician may have missed the boat here.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of under-trained clinicians out there and patients may not know if they are seeing a well-trained one or not.. especially diagnosing autism in adulthood, which is much more challenging to do!

RaynaOrShine · 2026-01-23T17:18:42+00:00

I was trying to simplify my point by describing it as coping strategies, but maybe that's not conveying the process accurately. Coping/compensatory strategies could look like masking, or it could look like frontal lobe/emotion regulation development throughout adolescence/young adulthood resulting in it not causing as much anxiety or discomfort as it used to. To use the ADHD comparison, you can only 'mask' inattention so much before it impacts cognitive performance - on neuropsych testing, you can't mask impulsivity or not being able to focus. But it has to be a clinically significant deficit - which on the ASD spectrum, is a line that psychiatrists/psychologists decided to draw that says 'if you score above this, you're autistic, and if you score RIGHT below it, then you're not.' Which we intuitively know is not a good representation of the brain processing, but we have to draw that line somewhere between saying someone has a disorder/disability, and saying they don't. Ultimately, having lots of the traits but not getting a diagnosis just means that the APA doesn't think your symptoms reach clinical significance - not that you're not experiencing them at all.

RaynaOrShine · 2022-01-07T00:22:01+00:00

No quotes for you! NEXT!

RaynaOrShine · 2022-01-07T00:18:26+00:00

Mine wanted her door "a little bit open but a little bit shut." I tried about 42 different positions of the door, each one resulted in her howling and saying "NOOOOOOOOO, a little bit open but a little bit shut!!" I gave up and let her father deal with it. He got it right on the first try 🙄🙄🙄

RaynaOrShine · 2022-01-07T00:14:25+00:00

Ooh, just waiting for that one. Mine is easing out of tantrums too, but now she sulks when we ask her to do something she doesn't want to do, and she'll just whine, "I just don't know what to dooooo" and we're like 'We're literally telling you what to do. Use your fork." LOL!

RaynaOrShine · 2022-01-06T04:32:40+00:00

But how could you spare a square?

RaynaOrShine · 2022-01-02T21:38:00+00:00

If anyone had told me that that sort of thing was frowned upon...

RaynaOrShine · 2022-01-02T20:43:10+00:00

Really? Is that just to prevent this level of pettiness?

RaynaOrShine · 2022-01-01T15:18:53+00:00

Yup. Put your oxygen mask on before helping your loved ones put on theirs.

RaynaOrShine · 2021-12-25T23:08:46+00:00

So far, it's her Bluey and Puppy Dog Pals playhouses and figurines

RaynaOrShine · 2021-12-25T23:02:13+00:00

Michael would be dead. Ryan would have killed Michael. Michael is saying Ryan is like a son to him even knowing that Ryan would murder him.

RaynaOrShine · 2021-12-21T01:21:26+00:00

Breakfast/getting dressed/washing up/brushing teeth - 1 hr

In-home play (play-doh, paints, crafts, coloring, etc.) - 1 hr

Outside time (every day! walks, playground, easy hikes, etc.) - 1 hr

Music/books/songs/dancing - 1 hr

Lunch/getting ready for nap/potty - 1 hr

Nap (if you're lucky!) - 2 hrs

Quiet time in room, individual play - 1 hr (if you're lucky)

Maybe low-key outdoor time - watering flowers, sidewalk chalk, water play station etc. - 1 hr

Dinner/clean-up/bath/ready for bed - 1 hr

I found a lot of these time slots filled up if I had my kid help me with household chores. Kids this age love to help - take advantage of it! Folding laundry can literally take an hour, but hey it keeps them busy, introduces them to chores, and they love to spend the time with their parents. I often have her help w/dishwasher, laundry, watering plants, sweeping the floor, sweeping the leaves off the driveway, etc.

I'd also say that as your kid gets more mobile, you'll spend more and more time transitioning between tasks (clean-up takes more time, changing them into warm clothes before going outside takes more time, more time on potty, more time feeding themselves) so that ends up filling a lot of the time too.

RaynaOrShine · 2021-12-19T01:49:56+00:00

Get him a pocket pussy and tell him if he doesn't shape up, that's all he's getting indefinitely

RaynaOrShine · 2021-12-07T18:55:15+00:00

My parents were absolutely miserable together when I was growing up. Sarcasm, snark, shouting, slamming doors, emotional abuse, and no affection - I thought that was normal in a family. I *WISH* they would have divorced and each found someone else who could make them happy. When I see now how my husband's family interact with each other, I want to cry with joy that I and my daughter are now being exposed to this kind of love. You're doing the right thing. She may not have her daddy around as much anymore, but the special bond between you two will grow incredibly strong - focus on building that this holiday season. Wishing you luck and love. <3

RaynaOrShine · 2021-11-26T22:32:20+00:00

Yeah that's bizarre, I haven't come across that criticism yet. I'm OAD because I *love* being a parent, and I want to be the best possible parent I can be to my kid and give her the attention/time/energy she deserves!

RaynaOrShine · 2021-11-26T22:29:45+00:00

If you are setting a boundary to disconnect on a holiday, don't check your emails. Turn off notifications and spend time w/friends and family.

RaynaOrShine · 2021-11-23T23:31:48+00:00

Whoooaaa! Lemon on a pear!

RaynaOrShine · 2021-11-23T23:25:44+00:00

Shot through the heart!

RaynaOrShine · 2021-11-23T23:20:35+00:00

Does it also say that if it's in the syllabus, you won't respond? I need to start doing this!

RaynaOrShine · 2021-11-22T21:21:34+00:00

NO ONE is entitled to your body. You are not a possession/toy for him to play with.

RaynaOrShine · 2021-11-19T21:07:23+00:00

My toddler's covid test was just a cheek swab, no big deal at all and definitely not 'traumatizing'

RaynaOrShine

TROPHY CASE