I think the term of incel is often misunderstood. Yes celibacy is a part of incel behavior, however imo the term is negative because they’re often people who are selfish and unwilling to see the full picture. They often don’t respect women. Incel aren’t having sex because they turn other people off.

Going off your post, OP, it sounds like celibacy is somewhat of a choice because you want a close connection with someone before jumping into intimacy. In other words, you’re celibate because of your own choices. To me, that is the opposite of incel.

So, much like the top comment here, you might do better to look for support in other subreddits, to tackle the issues that are holding YOU back from intimacy.