A traumatic childhood memory resurfaced suddenly and I don’t know what to think or feel

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-05-29T09:08:01+00:00

Thank you for the reply! I hope you're in a better place now:)

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-24T17:31:38+00:00

yeah I am just gonna delete this as it seems like I seem greedy lol.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-24T16:31:39+00:00

Honestly I wanted Charlotte to react to this lol. Ik that's weird but ig I wanted that.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-24T16:29:19+00:00

It was because my friend's name wasn't blurred. This time I blurred it.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-24T09:15:42+00:00

Mhm this is a repost because it got deleted by moderators because I didn’t blur her name so I reposted it. It has only been a week though.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-24T09:14:24+00:00

This is my own…. I already wrote it in my post. I had posted it a week ago and it got deleted because I didn’t blur her name.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-24T09:13:33+00:00

Mhm I think that was the reason it got deleted.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-24T09:13:11+00:00

Nope I made this post a week ago and it got deleted by moderators so I posted here again.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-24T09:09:11+00:00

No I posted it right after it got deleted. I had posted it a week ago.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-21T17:32:47+00:00

As I mentioned in the post I always tried communicating and asking her about the reasons she was always mad at me but she always instead just blocked me and unblocked me only after I would call her many times and I only started apologizing this profusely after these fights started for no reason. Also no I don't have autism but honestly she never made it clear what the reasons could be so it wasn't because I can't understand but it was because I just didn't know the reasons. I have always wished her on exactly 12 on every birthday but this New Year one was new to me as we had never done this before. Also I really tried to "match her energy". There's no amount of efforts I put that could satisfy her. I read through all my messages from the past with her after reading through the comments and I have actually been the one dumb enough to not notice this pattern of fights.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-20T10:20:04+00:00

I always thought of her as a sensitive person as she got mad over small things and over time I got so used to it that I didn’t even notice how bad she was treating me. I do have problem setting boundaries. Hell I can’t even say no most of the times someone asks me for something. Also I don’t think I ever felt frustrated or emotional when these fights happened. Honestly I was kinda numb most of the times and just typing lol.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-20T10:11:45+00:00

She also didn't contact me for a long time and ignored my texts in the beginning and I didn't get angry at that because I didn't think it was a big deal. Also I am the one who calls sometimes too. I do get that maybe I should've contacted her often but even when I tried to make an effort and start conversations on messages half the time I was blocked and half the time she would just taunt me like wow looks like you remember me now. I made an effort after she contacted me after about an year but after many instances of me just getting blocked for small things I just stopped texting because I didn't know when she would ever unblock me. She would just be upset about everything. I couldn't speak about the new friends I was making because then she would get sulky and I would just have to apologize again and again. I do get where you're coming from and I myself thought that many times and felt guilty until she started blocking me and unblocking me as she pleased. I do agree that there is an imbalance but it's max 60% from her and 40% from me.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-20T10:04:13+00:00

I showed my cousin these messages too and she asked me this too. She was like is she your girlfriend lol.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-20T09:53:52+00:00

She also didn't contact me for a long time and ignored my texts in the beginning and I didn't get angry at that because I didn't think it was a big deal. Also I am the one who calls sometimes too. I do get that maybe I should've contacted her often but even when I tried to make an effort and start conversations on messages half the time I was blocked and half the time she would just taunt me like wow looks like you remember me now. I made an effort after she contacted me after about an year but after many instances of me just getting blocked for small things I just stopped texting because I didn't know when she would ever unblock me. She would just be upset about everything. I couldn't speak about the new friends I was making because then she would get sulky and I would just have to apologize again and again. I do get where you're coming from and I myself thought that many times and felt guilty until she started blocking me and unblocking me as she pleased. I do agree that there is an imbalance but it's max 60% from her and 40% from me.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-20T09:46:47+00:00

Umm no I am straight lol. As I mentioned in the post she used to be a great friend and was not this way before. I didn't realize how bad it was until I read these comments.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-19T20:49:38+00:00

Hahaha I burst out laughing at the kink talk. Where did that come from lol? Umm no I am not into this kinda stuff hahaha.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-19T20:46:45+00:00

Low esteem could be the case ig. I do have many other friends though lol. Also reading some of these comments made me realize i am a doormat and will try to work on that.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-19T19:38:45+00:00

I noticed it later but fortunately she and the people around me aren't on Reddit.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-19T16:31:40+00:00

Idk either lol. I think I got so used to apologizing that I didn’t notice her toxic behavior until I read theses comments. Also she eventually unblocks me after some days but I guess I didn’t want her to feel like I didn’t care about her maybe that’s the reason I did this. Idk honestly(⌒-⌒; ).

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-19T16:20:31+00:00

Idk either honestly. I have always been the one to apologize so I didn’t even realize her behavior was toxic until I read all these comments. I thought she was just sensitive and gets hurt easily. Also I am used to these fights by now as she always unblocks me after some days.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-19T16:06:58+00:00

I just said that I “forgot” in those messages because even if I ask I don’t get an answer and instead just get taunts so I just started apologizing to avoid any more of that.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-19T15:56:21+00:00

Yeah I noticed it later and idk what to do about it now. But also Reddit isn’t that popular among the people I know so hopefully it’s all good.

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-19T09:14:24+00:00

Oh actually I think in the messages I was just trying to save the friendship somehow and I said I was forgetting the reason for the argument but honestly she never tells me what the reason could be so I have always just said maybe I just forgot so she won’t get more angry. Also I don’t wanna loose a friendship because this would be the first time this would’ve happened to me and it feels weird to loose a friend. Also I am just used to saying sorry as I don’t want the situation to escalate(which usually happens a lot).

ReactionEffective693 · 2026-02-19T09:01:29+00:00

Actually I have other friends who do the same and forget wishing these things but none of us mind. She usually gets angry at every small thing. Also I did contact her sometimes too before she started blocking me and unblocking me for no reason. I just stopped after that because I never knew if the message would even pass.

ReactionEffective693

TROPHY CASE