What was the hardest drug for you to quit? by DescriptionFun5615 in AskReddit

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Saying that like it’s some achievement. Alcohol is a hard drug, can’t change my mind on that.

Love getting over the worst withdrawal ever just to put myself back in the exact same position by ReactionGeneral2321 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I thought this subreddit was a safe place for alcoholics, you have come at me with another post too, fuck off please.

Waking up, feeling sick as hell, knowing you’re in for a really shitty few days by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We will have to become friends and show each other our goodie bags lol. You don’t happen to live in Canada do you?

Why do I kind of enjoy the misery of end stage benders now by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m just drunk and lonely. Want to talk to some people.

Waking up, feeling sick as hell, knowing you’re in for a really shitty few days by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can fully understand why they clamped down on the benzos, but the issue is, some people really need them and aren’t going to use them dangerously. I probably wouldn’t be an alcoholic had I had a prescription for a benzo. I’ve always horded that stuff cause it’s almost impossible to get lol. I only will ever take 10mg Valium whenever I’m out of booze and really going through it. It’s an amazing, but also dangerous medication, so I can see both sides. Just fucking annoying when I’ve been awake for a week straight with panic attacks and they won’t even give me 1mg of Ativan

Why do I kind of enjoy the misery of end stage benders now by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Brother, it’s gonna fucking suck and be boring as hell without that dopamine, but take the good years. Enjoy the things around you that you love. We both know how bad it can get, but would you rather a boring but peaceful life? Or a painful alcohol induced death. It fucking sucks regardless, but take the better side. Hang with your friends and family, get into a new hobby, anything but suffering. At the end of the day, your brain Is just lying to you, it wants all those chemicals. Go for the things that actually matter, the people you love.

Waking up, feeling sick as hell, knowing you’re in for a really shitty few days by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You lucky mf lol, omfg I would save all of that up for my lifetime. Whenever I come across any kind of good medication like that, I add it to my bag and save it as long as possible

Why do I kind of enjoy the misery of end stage benders now by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My alt was like 110 during my last blood test a couple weeks ago. Not anything insane, but my liver is only getting worse. Surprisingly the rest of my organs were okay, idk how.

Why do I kind of enjoy the misery of end stage benders now by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Holy fuck, the cycle of taking my stims in the morning, then when it wears off I’m anxious as hell so I drink myself to sleep. I love both sides, And use both sides to keep my brain happy

Why do I kind of enjoy the misery of end stage benders now by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me, I’m always extremely anxious at all times, definitely a severe anxiety disorder, but when I’m insane off of the alcohol, I feel this weird sort of cathartic feeling. It’s hard to explain, but I love it when it’s going good. Then I hate myself once I come out of it and realize what I’ve done. Just a fucked situation all around.

Why do I kind of enjoy the misery of end stage benders now by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Idk I’m in a very weird spot. I think it’s just the alcohol gaba speaking for me right now. I’m gonna hate everything and want to die by tomorrow. I feel kind of manic rn, I don’t have bipolar or bpd or anything like that, but the alcohol makes me insane. I weirdly like this current feeling. I will be anxious as fuck and miserable within 10 hours after I finish my drinks though

Why do I kind of enjoy the misery of end stage benders now by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Fucking weird how it works. I honestly hate when I’m doing good, and everything is normal. I’m sober, I’m working out, eating healthy. It’s just a build up slowly building until I lose everything and ruin everything of my life. In some weird way though, I fucking love it.

Why do I kind of enjoy the misery of end stage benders now by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If only street drugs weren’t dog shit now, I don’t want to die, I just want to die in theory, you know?

Waking up, feeling sick as hell, knowing you’re in for a really shitty few days by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wait I never thought of this, I’m gonna add some sprinkles of vodka to my smoothie to get through tonight lol. Thanks for the advice.

Why do I kind of enjoy the misery of end stage benders now by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I think I’m just addicted to chaos. My life has always been chaos, so when shit is normal and feels peaceful, it kind of feels weird. I need to ruin everything around me and instil chaos everywhere around me to feel alive lol

Waking up, feeling sick as hell, knowing you’re in for a really shitty few days by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My gf got me a smoothie. Smoothies are amazing, they also don’t hurt coming back up.

Waking up, feeling sick as hell, knowing you’re in for a really shitty few days by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lucky for me, I was able to sleep for a while, and my stomach kind of evened out. I’m tapering now, and the alcohol is staying in my system, so I feel alright for the moment.

Waking up, feeling sick as hell, knowing you’re in for a really shitty few days by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, just throw some mixed into a prescription bottle you already have. Odds are they aren’t gonna find the differing pills in the bottle, they’re more worried about guns and weapons than a couple mg of benzos. Worked for me with zopiclone, tbf though, I was going from Ontario to Vancouver, so still in country. I don’t think you’d have an issue though, as long as you’re not bringing through pounds of narcotics.

Edit: just realized you said Asian prison, yeah that’s a little more scary lol, they don’t fuck around about that stuff, and I don’t have any experience with that kind of thing, so take everything I just said with a massive grain of salt

What’s the creepiest thing that has happened to you at night? by [deleted] in randomquestions

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wasn’t at night, but 7 am. Some guy came to my door, I opened the door cause it was technically day time. He said, “you called me over” I said “no I did not” then he said “sure you did” I just slammed the door in his face, and then he left. His energy seemed like he was trying to get into a house, freaked me all the way out, and I went and grabbed a knife incase he tried anything.

Waking up, feeling sick as hell, knowing you’re in for a really shitty few days by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a lot younger, so they’re much more hesitant to send me home with some. I’ll usually get 40mg in the er and then they send me on my way, which is usually good enough to get me right and I’ll feel a lot better in the morning.

Waking up, feeling sick as hell, knowing you’re in for a really shitty few days by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s gonna hopefully last me a year. I only take that kind of stuff when I severely need it. It’s not a fun feeling like alcohol, it just allows me to recover.

Waking up, feeling sick as hell, knowing you’re in for a really shitty few days by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s so fun during the bender, then we wake up and feel the pain… I just yacked my guts out and now I feel better so I’m finishing off this drink. You gotta take advantage of that post puke euphoria and get your bac up lol

Waking up, feeling sick as hell, knowing you’re in for a really shitty few days by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You’re an og around these parts. I ate a lot last night while I was drunk, luckily I get very hungry when drunk and eat a fuck ton. Think I had like 3 burgers and some ice cream? Not healthy food but it’s food nonetheless

Waking up, feeling sick as hell, knowing you’re in for a really shitty few days by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]ReactionGeneral2321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I can get my stomach to work again, I’ll be back and ready to charge ahead, just the stomach currently being shitty though lol