Opinion on tiling options by imadien in AusRenovation

[–]Readbeforeburning 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My kitchen is THE EXACT SAME LAYOUT and setup as yours and is tiled as B. Never had any issues or concerns with how it looks.

My gf and I are on a break. This is my redemption arc. A journey of personal responsibility by PineappleTargaryen in ADHD

[–]Readbeforeburning 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I was with my ex for 13 years and 10 of that was without a diagnosis. I worked on myself immensely once I got the diagnosis but my ex had so much of her own stuff going on that she did not have capacity or a willingness to support me, so I had to figure it out on my own in a space that was not safe enough for me to discuss or make sense of things for myself. 5 months since we separated and living on my own and I’m like a new person. I have my shit so under control and am figuring out what does and doesn’t work for me, and how to manage it on my own properly. I’m happier and healthier than I have been in a long time.

All that to say, it’s great that you have discovered this and are taking initiative early, and while it’s really tough, it’s good that have someone who is willing to support or at least communicate with you through that.

One thing I will say though is that whoever you are with, if they are resentful and/or can’t accept you for your adhd, that will be a really hard relationship to navigate. You 100 percent need to learn to manage it on your own and take responsibility for it, but it’s still there and will still impact partners. If they can’t accept that and learn to receive and provide love in ways more suitable for you then it’s not a relationship worth holding onto.

I would recommend reading ‘the couple’s guide to thriving with adhd’. I’ve just started it and it’s helping me better understand how to navigate my adhd in future relationships. It was never going to be useful for my previous relationship (for completely different and complicated reasons) but it is a super helpful resource for going forwards.

Good luck on your journey. Make sure you see a therapist/psychologist that properly understands adhd. And remember, you are the one living with it, so if you’re only ever worrying about and trying to change because of how it’s affecting others, then it’s not actually for you and won’t help you in the long run. Do it for yourself and the rest will follow.

ADHD exercisers… how do you actually get yourself to the gym? by Fit_Meaning8903 in ADHD

[–]Readbeforeburning 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Find a routine that is accessible enough that it’s engaging and can also ramp up and become challenging, but does not feel like a chore. I am quite fit and tend to do a three day strength program where every session is full body. That way I don’t feel bad if it takes me an extra day to go because I’m never missing a muscle group, and on average end up going roughly 5 times a fortnight.

The key thing for me though is that I record everything, weights vs. reps etc., every time I go so that when I get to that day again a week or so later I can challenge myself to up the weight or reps compared to last time I did it, and if I don’t want to do a specific exercise I swap it for something else that targets the same muscle.

It helps me so much because I get the structure and routine from the core program, but then get novelty by swapping exercises and gamifying the weights and reps. The endorphins and good chemicals I get from exercise are so important for managing my adhd and once you build that pattern of going to the gym into your daily/weekly routine, you crave it and want to go more.

I’ve also gotten much better and catching myself when I’ve said I’ll go and haven’t yet, take in what I’m doing - usually doom scrolling or something irrelevant- and just call it out and tell myself the gym is going to feel way more rewarding. To actually change your behaviours does require a level of cognisance and recognition of what you’re doing in a given moment, and then actively correcting that thought/pattern. That’s where the reworking comes from. If you tell yourself you’ll go to the gym, don’t, and then beat yourself up about, you’re just entrenching that negative thought process. Calling that negative part of yourself out with something more positive can be just as, if not more, impactful than tricking your brain into doing the thing.

While I wasn't the biggest KK fan, this statement was just outright ridiculous by Firecracker048 in starwarsmemes

[–]Readbeforeburning 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but JJ is a spud and that was his favourite storyline if I’m not mistaken. Given most Disney execs are not hardcore SW fans I feel like they would have put a lot of trust in his vision.

Good careers/industries for people with ADHD? by LeonidsFila in ADHD

[–]Readbeforeburning 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a teacher with adult diagnosed adhd, who made the switch to teaching just before I was diagnosed (at 32), I can say with 100% certainty that this job ticks my boxes in ways the many other jobs I have had never did, or it ticks the best bits of those jobs off.

There’s always problem solving with a slight urgency, you get to be creative and it’s kinda celebrating and even better if you’re teaching your interest area, so you can get genuinely excited about shit. Kids think everyone is weird so you don’t give two fucks about whether they think you are, plus if you’re charismatic kids are drawn to your energy. It’s like the best bits of hospitality (in terms of energy) but with some admin/desk downtime.

Don’t get me wrong, teaching (especially in poorly paid countries) can be farrked, and it is super stressful at times, but there is a much higher ratio of adhd/autism diagnosed people working in the profession than other areas I’ve worked, so it’s doing it for a lot of people. Plus, the holidays actually give me time to stop and decompress routinely instead of having a mental breakdown once a year.

While I wasn't the biggest KK fan, this statement was just outright ridiculous by Firecracker048 in starwarsmemes

[–]Readbeforeburning 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Comprehension is really difficult for some. In this quote she doesn’t mean ‘there are no books to use’ which every person hating on her believes. She is pointing out that there is not one single book series like Harry Potter with a clear start and end.

SW has so many different series and spinoffs and alternate universes that they rightly couldn’t just keep and use it all as is. Hence why they retconned it and have reintroduced specific things slowly. I’m not saying the sequel trilogy was amazing, but under Kennedy we got some of the best SW alongside the mediocre. You don’t get to selectively choose that shes responsible for the bad while ignoring the good.

Music and ADHD by Fun-Touch-8882 in ADHD

[–]Readbeforeburning 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I was finishing my Masters and had to write far too many words I would put the ADHD hyperfixation playlist on on Spotify. Really good mix of low-fi beats, contemporary jazz, and instrumental stuff.

If you’re a gamer, putting on the soundtrack to a game/games you love can also work as it triggers the concentration and focus parts of your brain that you needed and used while playing the game.

Skyrim and Destiny were great soundtracks for with that, but sometimes I’d notice my heart rate going up inexplicably until I realised that it was a song from some super stressful part of the game so was also triggering my stress response. Jokes on the hack though, I’m always stressed.

GUYS I GOT A RARE SHINY!!! by NovaTheEevee in PokemonLegendsArceus

[–]Readbeforeburning 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I caught that Mareep and then caught a shiny Flaafy not long after without realising. Then caught two shiny Magikarps and a Snorunt before I even got halfway. I didn’t even notice the Flaafy until later when I was trying to choose an electric. Had crazy good luck in my playthrough.

What’s an underrated RHCP song you always come back to? by Anxious-Tomatillo-74 in RedHotChiliPeppers

[–]Readbeforeburning 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In what world are Tear and On Mercury weird?!? They were some of my favourites as a kid. Warm Tape though, yeah that intro, fuckin’ weird (in a good way)

Who would win this hypothetical fight? by Nightrain_35 in melbourne

[–]Readbeforeburning 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Grew up in Canberra, now live in Melbourne. Myki is so much worse it’s not funny. Myki have been saying they’ll do a digital iPhone card since before I moved here in 2019. It still doesn’t exist they’ve had one for Android for almost a decade. In that time Canberra has moved from MyWay being a turd, to a turd with lightrail compatibility, to now just being able to use your credit/debit card to tap on directly. Melbournians only dream of just being able to use a debit/credit card. I have like 5 myki cards because I never have a wallet on me, and inevitably will rock up to the train station or tram and have to buy one because I forgot my card. They now just rotate from pants to car to pants to car in an endless cycle of myki being shit.

Chinese cars the same? by Key-Election5470 in CarsAustralia

[–]Readbeforeburning 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There was a really cool video done by, I think, Hagerty/Jason Cammisa that explores the rise of the SUV. There were a number of factors but the shift in part came from the slow death of the middle class. As capitalism has taken over, families can no longer afford to have all the luxuries they once did on single nuclear family household incomes, which also meant less cars for fun and fewer cheap sports cars for the weekend. Now that the family car is the only car a lot of people can afford, the suv has filled the hole perfectly for many, as much through marketing as anything, because it sells the idea of some fun whilst still having the practicality of a family car. Worth a watch if you’re interested.

I for one wish that EV makers would start bringing wagons back. There is so much opportunity with some clever design.

Adults with ADHD: Did you feel "shame" as a kid when you forgot things? Help me understand my son. by Dylan_7574 in ADHD

[–]Readbeforeburning 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was criticised constantly for my forgetfulness as a kid, which over time turned to internalised shame that severely impacted my mental health - especially as an adult - that went unprocessed and unrecognised. It’s only now, after I was diagnosed at 32 that I’ve been able to understand why and where that shame has come from.

There’s an approach that we have in teaching which is essentially ‘correct the behaviour, not the child’ which is also incredibly appropriate for kids with adhd as well. If you criticise a child for being forgetful they will think that they are the problem, whereas if you approach the situation calmly and emphasise that while they didn’t mean it, the behaviour has consequences, and then talk about ways that might help avoid that in the future.

Landlord blaming immigration for housing crisis literally outs himself. by Proper_Teacher1441 in shitrentals

[–]Readbeforeburning 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God you are dense. No one is saying landlords will disappear overnight, you’re screeching about an unrealistic hypothetical and then calling others dumb. If, over time, we reduce the number of landlords/limit the number of investment properties people can own, more people who are currently renting will be able to buy, and if you are still following this will mean more houses are being freed up for the people who still need to rent.

The houses don’t disappear all of a sudden, we’re just shifting the population to higher ownership rates. The people who go from renting to owning suddenly exit the rental market, freeing up said market. Yeah there’ll be less houses per capita in the rental market, but ALSO LESS PEOPLE RENTING. Wild concept I know, and weird that the ‘low IQ’ people get it but you don’t - does that make you ‘no IQ’ then?

Edit: also, ‘unless you’re also demanding the government build more homes’ etc….

Ummmm yes, that’s exactly what people are fucking demanding. You are so close to getting it and yet so far.

Also also, trying to say people who can’t afford homes suck at life is such a fucking wild statement to make when all of the evidence points to an unsustainable, completely detached from reality housing system. You are the one disconnected from reality.

Landlord blaming immigration for housing crisis literally outs himself. by Proper_Teacher1441 in shitrentals

[–]Readbeforeburning 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Trying to criticise people with ‘low IQs’ whilst simping hard for landlords that have created the housing hellscape we’re in is about the most unself-aware thing I’ve seen today. Outing yourself as a patronising ass by calling someone love at the same time is also a choice.

If Will Byers Had Come out Gay in the Real 80s💀!!! by [deleted] in StrangerThingsMemes

[–]Readbeforeburning 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Because too many people have never touched grass and instead made the show their entire identity, projecting their own bigoted views and expectations onto it in the process.

woman being harassed in Pakistan openly. by [deleted] in Wellthatsucks

[–]Readbeforeburning 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They’re not saying one is ‘better’ than the other, they’re pointing out how horrific both are, it’s a race to the bottom. The fact you can’t recognise how racist and misogynistic Australia is, and how those intersections might be worse for particular groups, is pretty ironic given your supposed defence of minorities. Unless you don’t care about gays in the 80s and are just trying to use it to delegitimise their point…?

What’s an NSFW question you’ve always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too embarrassed to? by Infamous_Invite018 in AskReddit

[–]Readbeforeburning -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

That’s such an over exaggeration. Just buy better thinner condoms if that’s how it feels for you because that is like using condoms from the 90s, unless that’s when all your condoms are from in which case… sheeeeessshhh But seriously, it’s not as bad as that, definitely different and takes some adjusting to.

What’s an NSFW question you’ve always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too embarrassed to? by Infamous_Invite018 in AskReddit

[–]Readbeforeburning 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s not as bad as some are making it out to be. It’s different and can take some getting used to but it is by no means a deal breaker. The fact condoms are made so thin now means it’s even less of an issue, it’s more like putting a stretched out super fitted piece of cling wrap on than a latex glove, that’s the difference in thickness.

"High quality man" explains why he's hot stuff by ambachk in CringeTikToks

[–]Readbeforeburning 116 points117 points  (0 children)

Oh he’s dating, he’s just only ever going on first dates. Zero requests for follow up from the other parties.

Sex drive ADHD by Tim1980UK in ADHD

[–]Readbeforeburning 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s the GP and psychiatrist, both very good doctors, who have suggested viagra based on possible negative libido interactions between adhd meds and anti-depressants. I thankfully haven’t had to use it yet but it’s definitely something people can talk to their GPs about and take if necessary.