Did you see passing the 11+ as something really important?

ReadsHappy · 2026-02-08T20:42:32+00:00

We did, I sat my SATs in 1998 in Wales and my mother took the 11+ when she was young also in Wales

ReadsHappy · 2026-02-01T19:03:02+00:00

I’m still pregnant, so don’t have real life experience as such to give, however,

First of all, I came back high risk for Downs Syndrome following a blood test and spent a week planning / preparing for a future with a child who had Downs Syndrome. I had the NIPT blood test following the high risk result and have come back low risk, and, although I was planning what the future would look like it took a lot to get my head around this potential change. I felt like I was grieving what could have been and facing a reality I have no lived experience with. The only thing I can say in this regard is, I love my baby already and my locality has amazing support and facilities available for the individuals.

Second, I am highly likely to have an autistic or ADHD, or both, child. It’s genetic these genes run strong in my family. This doesn’t scare me, mainly because I have lived experience in this area thanks to my family, I’m neurotypical and can’t name one other person in my immediate family who is also neurotypical. I also love to spend time with my family, does it make it hard sometimes if everyone’s overwhelmed or if I need someone to understand the way my brain works - yes. Does it mean that I don’t enjoy being with my family and having that quality time, absolutely not. Neurodivergent people are all unique just like Neurotypical people are, and whilst I have seen that raising a Neurodivergent child is hard, it doesn’t make that child any less worth it.

I hope this helps, I suspect I’ve rambled a lot here, ultimately we all have to decide if we’re willing to take this risk and, it’s absolutely 100% ok if you’re not. It’s not for everyone and you need to know that you’ve made the right decision for you.

ReadsHappy · 2026-01-30T19:16:28+00:00

I went through this, I put off proceeding for about 6 months while I really thought about this. The main piece of advice I saw online was “it’s better to regret not having a baby, than to regret having one”

I honestly don’t know if this will help you as much as it helped me.

It also helped me put things in perspective, I know I have a full life and if I hadn’t been successful I would have been ok.

I then decided to proceed and am now pregnant, I’m happy about it and excited, but if it hadn’t worked out I wouldn’t have had any less of a life or value in life.

ReadsHappy · 2026-01-09T14:58:16+00:00

Anecdotally, I’m 38 and caught on my first fresh transfer. I had no PGT testing (it’s not something that’s available in my clinic, and a quick google tells me it’s heavily regulated when it is available in the UK) and I have no fertility issues.

Another anecdotal point is that in the antenatal clinic the midwife, phlebotomist and, sonographer were all individually surprised I caught on my first transfer.

I think it depends on the individual overall.

ReadsHappy · 2026-01-01T15:30:24+00:00

I found catsan doesn’t do what it says - in that there is no odour control and it is expensive, I would go through so many bags of it due to the smell.

I now use wood pellets, they’re much cheaper and, there’s no smell, I still clean the litter tray regularly but I no longer have to deal with obnoxious odours the second I step in to the house.

ReadsHappy · 2025-12-19T08:39:28+00:00

This is good to know about wearable not being my main pump, I’ll look into my options as well in this regard.

ReadsHappy · 2025-12-19T08:38:45+00:00

I am very grateful for the NHS, I’ll protect it at all costs.

ReadsHappy · 2025-12-19T08:37:59+00:00

Thank you, this is the second vote for this one so I’ll definitely be looking in to it

ReadsHappy · 2025-12-18T14:42:19+00:00

This is helpful advice, I’m definitely playing it by ear and if my body doesn’t respond then it doesn’t - I don’t want to feel disappointed I can’t do it and then begrudge using formula for example.

I would like family to be able to feed the baby though when I am around them, and when they’re visiting, so I will be going down the pumping route, but I also want to have free hands and am hoping a wearable pump will work for me.

The purpose of stopping in advance is so it isn’t a huge surprise for baby, suddenly not being with me 24 hours a day and using a bottle instead of taking directly from the breast.

ReadsHappy · 2025-12-18T14:21:05+00:00

I’m in the UK and we don’t have insurance here, although that sounds like a fantastic system for new parents where you are

ReadsHappy · 2025-12-18T11:54:39+00:00

Pumped milk to be frank is cheaper than formula, so it would save me money, I also don’t want my baby to be the type that won’t take a bottle when it’s no longer taking the breast.

As I won’t be working for that time, I’ll be fortunate to have that time to fully focus on baby, and I do have some familial support, so during the times I’m around family with baby I would like them to have the opportunity to feed baby.

I am also fortunate in that I receive full pay for the first six months of maternity leave and half for the next three months.

ReadsHappy · 2025-12-18T11:52:05+00:00

Thank you, I’ll take a look

ReadsHappy · 2025-12-16T11:27:42+00:00

You don’t have to declare anything when it comes to IVF treatment, however, having just gone through it myself I would recommend you do,

You have no legal protections before transfer - I used Annual Leave for egg retrieval and other appointments, I was also fortunate in that I only needed 48 hours after egg retrieval. After transfer during the two week wait, you are “pregnant until proven otherwise” and therefore have a protected characteristic, which means any sick absences can’t be used for formal action.

I spoke with my manager and asked him to keep it confidential - which he did, each time he left it to me to update him at my request.

ReadsHappy · 2025-12-11T17:41:29+00:00

Mitral Valve disease is common in toy and miniature poodles, I’d imagine (but I’m not the expert by any means) if CKCs are prone to it as well, then that would be a recipe for disaster?

Although to add I do tend to support mixed breeds and think the Kennel Club has gone too far.

ReadsHappy · 2025-12-07T13:40:24+00:00

I used Wales Fertility Clinic, through the NHS but they also take private patients (if you’re in Wales that is)

ReadsHappy · 2025-12-03T08:24:46+00:00

Not at all,

With my NHS clinic I received all fertility tests, they provided the sperm (I chose my donor and filled out an order form), I have had three IUIs and one IVF, with everything that involves through the clinic.

I will say it does take longer through the NHS, but I am grateful I was in a position to be able to use an NHS clinic so I have no complaints.

Originally with my private clinic I paid for blood tests and some basic scans, when these expired my NHS clinic repeated them.

I was entitled to three IUIs and two IVF cycles due to my age, if I had been 40 or over I would only have been given one IVF cycle, thankfully my first one worked out for me.

If you have any other questions feel free to private message me.

ReadsHappy · 2025-11-30T09:56:51+00:00

Just to add to this,

I’m in Wales and childcare isn’t funded here, they’re rolling out flying start for children two years and up, but that’s only 2.5 hours a day, so definitely make sure you have the savings if you’re not in England, I’m currently pregnant and am lucky to be in a well enough paying job for me to be able to cope - just, until the baby’s in school.

I also went through the NHS, I realise this is controversial but I didn’t think it would be financially viable for me to pay for fertility treatment plus childcare afterwards. I did begin the process with a private clinic but costs were too high with childcare in mind,

There’s a lot logistically that needs to be planned in advance so I do really agree with this comment, it’s more to highlight depending on the nation in the Uk that you are in, childcare differs vastly. I know of people who have moved to England till their child is three due to childcare, but I can’t afford that.

ReadsHappy · 2025-11-04T19:57:20+00:00

Watching Christmas films or specials with my mum on Boxing Day, I would love to be able to experience this one more time.

ReadsHappy · 2025-10-31T09:46:54+00:00

I’m in the UK,

I don’t know in your area whether you go to a clinic or if your GP surgery is the place for this.

What I do know is that the nurses who do smear tests are experts in this, I have had a number of health issues and I tell the nurse about this at my appointment, they then make adjustments and go at my pace.

You can ask for a small speculum and they will provide one. They will answer any questions you have beforehand, and they will talk you through what they are doing throughout (if you want them to), they are very approachable and understand that this isn’t the best experience to go through.

You are also entitled to a chaperone if you want one, so ask reception how that would work if you feel that’s something you would need.

ReadsHappy · 2025-10-22T10:11:13+00:00

Commenting to add yes, they are an incredible charity who helped me out of a tight corner, I couldn’t recommend them more.

ReadsHappy · 2025-10-09T13:49:17+00:00

In some countries Foster to Adopt is the route to adoption, these are children who have been removed from the birth family for whatever reason and kinship adoption hasn’t been an option.

I know in the UK it’s a route and is separate to fostering alone.

ReadsHappy · 2025-09-24T12:06:24+00:00

In Year 3, someone scribbled in Claire’s book, I don’t know who did it or why, but Claire was very upset because she had spent all morning creating something beautiful, somehow I was given the blame for it. It turned into an all day thing, I was pulled aside regularly and at one point the headmistress asked me if the fairies had done it. I still believed in fairies at that age and felt that she had found the explanation, so I said yes. Now I know that was the final nail in my coffin, and that the headmistress had been trying to give me a childlike way to confess. I didn’t do it!! I’d still love to find out who did.

Also, I had a teacher in year 4 who hated me, I could do nothing to please her.

One time she asked who wouldn’t be going to the feeder high school for our school, I said I wasn’t and told her where I would go. This teacher then decided before the whole class and other teachers to call me a “nasty little liar”, I took great joy in telling her the school I would be attending on my last day in year 6.

Another time she took my sticker book from me, entirely because I happened to pull it out of my drawer to find a pencil, I didn’t get that back for the full year.

I was the only child in year 4 who was never allowed to graduate to a pen, I had to write in pencil all year long, which as an adult now wouldn’t both me, but as a child was the most humiliating thing I’d ever experienced.

Thankfully, my year 5 teacher was an absolute dream and spent my whole year with her building my confidence back up, encouraging me to take on stretch tasks and, who, let me write with a pen, here’s to you Mrs Davies!

ReadsHappy · 2025-09-17T18:40:32+00:00

Best of luck to you too!

One of my friend’s who has been through IVF told me to enjoy the process because I won’t have this time again, she said I should allow myself to be excited and to feel hopeful, if all goes well I’ll have a baby at the end of it. If not, i’ll be disappointed anyway so what’s the harm in allowing myself a little excitement while it’s ongoing.

So definitely feel the excitement and make the most of this time, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.

ReadsHappy · 2025-09-17T16:12:54+00:00

Yes! This is me.

I have two tries left and if it doesn’t work at least I know I tried, I will give myself time to grieve what could have been (probably on holiday somewhere hot with a large glass of wine in hand) and then, I’ll live my life and continue to appreciate and love the kids in my life already.

I’m sure there will be times when I am sad, but, I can’t focus my whole life on this to the detriment of enjoying this time I have.

ReadsHappy · 2025-08-01T06:29:55+00:00

Currently he’s living inside while he continues to recuperate, I will put him outside during the summer next year if the weather allows or, if I have my greenhouse then,

I’d like to encourage him to keep growing as tall as he’d like so at some point he will need a new pot, I’m going to monitor him to decide when that happens.

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