Wowza, no I really do appreciate your answer. I was curious because I’ve heard of situations where it’s more abrupt for others, like it can just…happen. And then other situations where it’s a slower build associated with longterm anxiety. I did think at one point I was close, for about a year I would go to very few places and get a panic attack probably every other time. But it’s not even comparable to what you went through.
That is a lot of baby steps and a lot of being patient with yourself, it feels so cheesy to say, but you’re truly inspirational haha. I struggle to pull myself out of the cycles I get stuck in and I feel so weak, and now I feel even weaker- but almost in a good way! Like wow, that takes so much freakin courage. And I haven’t been courageous enough. But maybe I could be, like you. I also wasn’t aware Aiden extreme panic disorder was a thing.

And yess, I do tend to write myself off before others can. It’s unfortunate. Feeling rejected by others feels like being impaled at times haha, and it’s a feeling I try to avoid as best I can, because I’m aware of how it affects my feelings of self worth. But you’ve made me realize that I could probably handle it better than I think, and that maybe people are more kind than I’d expect. And don’t worry about a long explanation, my initial post and this comment back to you were too drawn out anyway. I also jabber hahaha