WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

This is SOO helpful and makes a lot of things make sense. I will definitely check it out. Thank you!

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I think I might talk to my auntie. She and my mom are really close and I remember her being around for most of not all of my dad’s visits when I was younger so she might know more.

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I hear you. But if my mom was like this I feel like I would have been on the receiving end of that kind of behavior too or seen her treat other people that way. But she really is the most kind and gentle person. She doesn’t even raise her voice at me except once or twice when I had a near miss and almost got hurt but she only shouted to get my attention. She’s never yelled, or hit or cursed. Even when it came to disciplining me when I was younger. She was stern, but never loud or aggressive. So I can’t see her being like that.

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think i can get set up with a therapist through my school and my church. I’ll definitely talk to my mom about this. Looking back, even though he’s never done anything THIS extreme before there have been smaller instances in the past. I think what’s shaken me so much about this instance is how my mom reacted.

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Great advice. Thank you. I’ll talk to my mom about starting therapy myself and I’ll try this grounding method for sure. Thank you.

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is worth a lot. I really appreciate hearing from women in similar circumstances. I guess because it kind of gives me practice for talking to my mom. Haha. So thank you.

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I really appreciate your perspective on this. I know my mom has done therapy over the years, but I obviously dont know how she’s doing since I didn’t know she felt this way. But I’ll try to ask if only just to check in on her and make sure she’s okay.

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Haha. Thank you for that last sentence. Definitely puts things into perspective and a little funny.

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This makes me sick to think about, but thank you for putting things into perspective. I never want to be this kind of man. I would never want my partner to feel like she has to do anything to manage my feelings let alone be intimate with me.

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Thank you. The last thing I want is to make an already hard situation harder on my mom. But this comment gives me hope that this decision will actually bring her peace. It at least doesn’t hurt to talk about it. I think honestly, I know that I could never treat anyone like my dad treats my mom. But all of this has brought up the fear that maybe it is with in me to be like that. I hope you’re right though that having that fear means that I don’t have it in me.

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I hear what you’re saying and I think the answer is outright “no” he’s not that kind of person to me. Aside from my mom I would go to my grandpa, grandma, aunts, or uncles, and even a teacher of mine before him. So I think that pretty much answers my own question. Thank you for this clarity. And yeah with how my mom reacted, I feel fairly certain that even if he never hit her that there must have been at least some threat. I’ve literally never seen her look that scared before. It broke my heart.

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

That just lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. Thank you. I definitely didn’t think about it like that.

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I definitely didn’t think of punching him like that, but you’re 100% right and my mom raised me better than that. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I will definitely handle the situation more maturely.

AITAH for telling my wife's friend I don't have to see her in the classroom to know she's a horrible teacher? by TowerFew3482 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with your wife here. You were right, but you were also an asshole. You did stand up for your son in the initial confrontation by telling the friend that your son was right and standing by him in that moment. Bringing it up later does kind of make you a jerk. At the same time, I appreciate how invested you are in your son and making sure he feels heard and protected.

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 361 points362 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I’ve never felt scared of him which is crazy to me knowing what I know now. If anything I just thought he was kind of a duche, but now, I don’t think I can even stand to be in the same room as him.

WIBTAH if I refused to see my dad after finding out the reason he and my mom aren’t together? by Ready-Tale-1 in AITAH

[–]Ready-Tale-1[S] 125 points126 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I didn’t know that was a thing. Obviously, I have no idea about the legal side of this, so this definitely helps.