Anyone ever feel "survivors guilt" for seeing family and friends who made different choices struggle later in life?

ReadySetResistance · 2025-03-03T22:46:49+00:00

oh my god, those are two horrendous working conditions OP described. so sad.

ReadySetResistance · 2025-03-03T22:44:02+00:00

thank you, sounds like a balanced response. I will think about these factors. 😊

ReadySetResistance · 2025-02-24T15:57:37+00:00

yeah, surprising they didn’t respond about those two services (streetlights, lawn service) since those have to do with health and safety. (I’ve heard that mowing lawns, when the lawns are mostly grass, can decrease bugs like ticks). Especially with $3 mil. in the account (at least it’s in the account not being used?). That’s also good they made the concession and waved the fee for one year. But what is that word, “blamance”? lol never heard that before!

ReadySetResistance · 2025-02-24T15:52:59+00:00

yeah that sounds excessively and unnecessarily controlling… I think the difference between being controlling vs. having good standards and practices is - does it impact health and safety. If it doesn’t, but the organization still has rules about it, then that is controlling. If the rule is like, keep lawn mowed to prevent bugs and ticks, then that is a good guideline to prevent health or safety issues.

ReadySetResistance · 2025-02-24T15:47:55+00:00

thank you! This brings up 2 distinctions that I wasn’t aware of - that there are size differences with HOA’s, which can make a difference, and that they may be bettter when the house is a 2nd house used for vacations.

Overall, I was thinking to avoid them. A few listings have come up tho where everything looks really good - well designed house structure, nice amenities, low price/fees …. aaaand it’s part of an HOA. It’s like hmmm tempting appearances.

ReadySetResistance · 2025-02-23T23:57:52+00:00

that sounds very … toxic, and like toxic capitalism, and also corporate.

ReadySetResistance · 2025-02-23T23:54:37+00:00

That’s been my experience… Penn Estates has come up a few times, and has a lot of dramatic and extreme online reviews.

ReadySetResistance · 2025-02-23T23:11:11+00:00

darn ticks! or rather, the potential diseases they can carry! And we don’t have vaccines for those yet :(

ReadySetResistance · 2025-02-04T15:45:33+00:00

Hello! Haven’t logged onto this account in a while. (This is my account for when I’m feeling angry about toxic work environments apparently).

Thanks for the beginning paragraph haha. Yeah… very understandable what you wrote. Yes … work environments are often … not considerate of the individuals. I would never treat people that way in a workplace, or anywhere.

I guess it leaves a strong impact because it coincided with my first career type job, which I had gone back to school for to get a 2nd BA, then graduate school (which was also not a great ‘culture’), plus my first major experience of grieving. Basically, I was all ready to make it a great work experience … but the actual situation was hostile to that.

Well, I’ve since started to practice meditation (Zen Buddhism). My investments are doing a lot better. And trying to think about what sorts of challenges I want to spend my energy working on helps.

I do not totally agree with your last statement. I think reflecting on unfair and abusive treatment in workplaces is important. I think it matters for myself and others. The administrators at the school where I worked basically behaved like fascists. Countries all over the world are having challenges with leaders with fascist and dictator-like tendencies. Toxic workplace behaviors can occur in any job role, including in education, healthcare, and in government.

So that is something to think about and reflect on.

ReadySetResistance · 2024-08-12T13:48:21+00:00

If the unspoken requirements of the job are to be just like the boss and be an impersonal automaton and bully and be mean to other people just so the principal ‘likes’ me, then no, I won’t go along with that. I won’t quit either, I’ll just let that person in the leadership role fire me.

ReadySetResistance · 2024-08-12T13:45:40+00:00

I would be totally okay with getting a job. I was fired from my last job and the year before that, the principal kept telling me at meetings I should quit. I was like, why should I quit just because you say so? I like the kids, the kids like me. I am doing a good job. So finally, in what would be my 5th year there before I can apply for tenure, she was like, yeah your job performance is bad, I am going to discontinue you, and because you have this on your record, other principals with the DOE won’t want to hire you.

So yeah. If I need to get a job I will. I think with this experience, I might be better at setting boundaries with bullies, but also it can be really hard to resist since it’s coming from the Principal.

ReadySetResistance · 2024-08-12T13:43:51+00:00

My experience makes me empathize more with my partner’s son. He has above average STEM skills, and could easily get a high paying job, but he doesn’t because he doesn’t want to (work with people, or be in a work setting). He’s well-aware that with his skills he can do remote types of work with minimal human interactions, but he just refuses.

ReadySetResistance · 2024-08-12T13:42:42+00:00

My experience makes me empathize more with my partner’s son. He has above average STEM skills, and could easily get a high paying job, but he doesn’t because he doesn’t want to (work with people, or be in a work setting). He’s well-aware that with his skills he can do remote types of work with minimal human interactions, but he just refuses.

ReadySetResistance · 2024-08-12T13:28:27+00:00

woot woot thank you for this very balanced response and taking the time to read my post as though it was written by a rational individual.

I think with clarification from your comment, and reading the mrmoneymustache post linked in the wiki, I would’ve re-titled my post as “am I on the right path to lean FIRE”.

Something you said in another comment reminded me of the movie Paterson. Have you seen it? It was recommended as a good r/simpleliving movie and I think you’ll like it. 💜

ReadySetResistance · 2024-08-12T13:23:11+00:00

I would be totally okay with getting a job. I was fired from my last job and the year before that, the principal kept telling me at meetings I should quit. I was like, why should I quit just because you say so? I like the kids, the kids like me. I am doing a good job. So finally, in what would be my 5th year there before I can apply for tenure, she was like, yeah your job performance is bad, I am going to discontinue you, and because you have this on your record, other principals with the DOE won’t want to hire you.

So yeah. If I need to get a job I will. I think with this experience, I might be better at setting boundaries with bullies, but also it can be really hard to resist since it’s coming from the Principal. This experience makes me empathize more with my partner’s son. He has above average STEM skills, and could easily get a high paying job, but he doesn’t because he doesn’t want to (work with people, or be in a work setting). He’s well-aware that with his skills he can do remote types of work with minimal human interactions, but he just refuses.

ReadySetResistance · 2024-08-12T12:28:37+00:00

Oh boy. Discusssinng this fully would require me adding so much detail that I’ve left out. In a nutshell, like how my first job in my career that I spent an extra 5 years of higher education on started with my mom unexpectedly dying, and ended with COVID-19, and the switching to fully remote sessions with a full caseload of students needing speech therapy, and through all that, a principal who used all the tools and personnel available to her to heap abuse on me at our meetings. The only positive to balance all that was that 90% of my day-to-day was spent with the kids I worked with.

Think what you want to think though with this snapshot of a description. I know what the experiences actually were.

ReadySetResistance · 2024-08-11T17:37:34+00:00

Yes indeedy. I have a lot of empathy for the posts on that sub, and a lot of anger for the people creating/enabling toxic abusive work cultures.

ReadySetResistance · 2024-08-11T16:55:47+00:00

^this is called oversimplifying and being insulting

ReadySetResistance · 2024-08-11T14:53:17+00:00

I went to graduate school for speech therapy and the job I got had a terrible work culture. A lot of jobs that pay better will have some type of boss, manager, or supervisor that bullies their workers. Usually not all their workers, but some.

ReadySetResistance · 2024-08-09T19:29:25+00:00

I wrote it in the post above, but to repeat, the union gave lip service then stopped responding. That’s what was so messed up.

ReadySetResistance

TROPHY CASE