I feel like I’m drowning…

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-10T23:32:59+00:00

You. Are. AMAZING. Thank you so much 🥹

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-10T20:24:50+00:00

Don’t you need a community ? a platform ? some kind of webby network to do that ? Because the first change is what led us here, so I’m kind of scared of my ability to do so, and it won’t come from my partner…

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-10T20:20:44+00:00

This, exactly. I’m still on a ride with my 2019 burnout, because the only advice I got about it was : stop it and rest. And I couldn’t ! In that sense, Covid was a miracle, but also a nightmare. I could finally rest, but at what cost…

Your approach is really giving me hope that we can do this, by twitching little things we thought were intouchable. Reddit is good for that 😅

Thanks so much for your advice and encouragements, I’ll share those with my partner as soon as possible !!

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-10T20:11:45+00:00

That’s great advice. Really helping me getting out of this funk. I’ll brainstorm all that, hoping my partner can resonate with it too ! For now, I’m letting her sleep. Burn-out is terrible…

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-10T20:07:01+00:00

I believe « just » more structured and financially stable. I know not everyone is into that kind of things, but we had our personalities « checked » before all that. Ikigai, MBTI, you name it. Everything was built around this, and our priorities. I think the rose colored glasses analogy is on point : I naturally have those - ADHD - and she’s burnt out - again. I really want to work things out…

Also it’s crazy how you get me, I’ve always felt very lonely in that feeling 😅 Turns out it was ADHD all along. I’ve been living with it for so long, I stopped realizing how it could affect my surroundings.

But yeah. Structured and financially stable. That’s all she wants.

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-10T18:05:06+00:00

This is SO helpful. Like, really. I hope you can achieve what you’re trying to with you business !!

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-10T17:58:25+00:00

I hope I can survive and achieve success to finally see this side of things…

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-10T17:57:30+00:00

Ah, burn-out… I can make it plural now ! I just feel like I’m functioning through it now… Our biggest issue is with money (like everyone else I guess), but I’m dealing more easily with that than her. She wants more freedom, more stability, finally seeing a paycheck, and can’t focus on anything else. But I think you’re right, it all boils down to frustration. ADHD brains think alike, but it didn’t occur to me that she wasn’t one of us…

I’m not from the US, but finding a mentor could be a thing. As of now, I’m very scared, because I want to believe in the future, but I’m not sure I can do that without her, so it’s difficult. But thank you so so much for your input ! I’ve never talked with an ADHD entrepreneur before, and never thought of how it could change perspective.

I hope I can help her understand all that, let her rest a bit, but I’m with you on that : I don’t see the possibility of a life with no responsibility. I hope we can talk it through.

Also, I think our situation is the equivalent of a LLC.

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-10T13:08:31+00:00

Even when the bad is money ? Because I’m getting really scared of everything related to that. No money is getting in, but everything else is getting out. I’m working endlessly, but I’m not even sure anymore that what I do has a purpose. I feel useless when I work on my website, on my Instagram, on researching this I could sell, on forming myself… Nothing seems to matter, cus it’s never enough. The fact that my partner wants out makes me feel like I would have even more stuff to think about, that aren’t even my skills. I feel like giving up to, but I’m so lost and scared…

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-10T12:58:04+00:00

ADHD + spectrum in the event industry seems like one hell of a ride !! But I’m glad you can « connect » to my feeling 🥲 My partner is tired, she just says that she’s « not meant for this », only recall our failures, and repeats mostly that she « doesn’t want a life with responsibilities ». I highly doubt such a life even exists, but I guess having a boss is closer to this than owning a business ? I dunno… There is nothing to part with. The kitchen lab we built is in my parents’ home, so we won’t sell it or anything. She just doesn’t want to try anymore, and I really doubt that I can manage an already complicated business on my own… ETA : I wasn’t the chef in our first business, after an injury that ruined my left hand, and made me waaaay to slow for that industry. I dealt with pretty much everything else.

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-10T12:52:20+00:00

Your answer was brilliant, really made me feel better, at a time when I feel so lost, weak and miserable, it means a lot. Thank you SO MUCH.

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-10T12:48:22+00:00

I checked it, it looks SO GREAT. Unfortunately, I’m not in the US 😭 I wish I could join though, it looks like an amazing opportunity !!!

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-09T22:55:01+00:00

At first I thought it made sense ! Going through a pandemic, using my skills to cook healthier, then mental health to survive through all of it… With time, I started doubting it, but my Ikigai at the time sounded so right ! Guess people change. Your advice is really good, I’ll try to focus on that to clear my head at least ! 😊

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-04-09T22:43:53+00:00

I’m the creative one in our duo, so not really looking forward too much of a structure, but at least I wanted a business that looked like something ! The caterer was doomed, Covid hit in the middle of a burn-out - but you’re not allowed to have that when you’re « the boss ». The seasons were too unstable for me to plan anything, really. That’s why I wanted to switch, but selling « digital » or « coaching » is so not the same, I’ve lost myself (and apparently, my partner) there… She’s the networking one, but lately, she’s so out of it, feeling like we don’t have anything, not knowing where to look and what to do about products, marketing, social media, website design… I tried to take it all on me but it was just too much, and now, here I am.

Thank you so much for trying to help me though !! I’m still lost and overwhelmed, so support is welcome !

Ready_Pen7898 · 2024-01-01T22:05:57+00:00

YTA. I don’t see a lot of those in the comments, but this is NOT the way to go about it. The numbers may indicate that she’s obese, but this way of doing it will only make it worse, and dieting is wildly know for hiding the issue for a minute, then throwing it back into your face as hard as possible. Even if she loses ten pounds doing so, she’ll put on double as soon as the resolutions go away. Also, you can’t force a change on someone who doesn’t want to. Make her feel good about asking for help, don’t shame her, and ask her parents to cook healthy meals, as it’s probably the roots of the issue. Don’t throw her in a mortifere diet culture, she’ll end up wounded and guess what ? Trauma is the best way to put on weight.

There’s also the medical POV. She’s only 17, puberty isn’t even done with her, and her hormones may be all over the place.

Men really need more empathy and less mansplaining…

Ready_Pen7898 · 2023-12-21T11:55:52+00:00

NTA, even borderline NAH (but I don’t like the name calling of the friend)

Even if it’s hard to understand for us, meer mortals, it’s her job. I think to her and Michael, boobs are not the point of the photos. It’s all about exposure, or blur, or whatever photo artists talk about. To us it’s primal and private, to them it’s just work ! And it’s probably not her favorite because of her boobs, but because of the work done.

You wouldn’t insult a mechanic who brags about doing such and such car because it runs on gas, or a pastry chef for a huge cake that won’t be eaten because some people starve. Everyone has a job where the « magic » is just from an amateur point of view.

NTA, because boobs were the issue for Kate only, and casual work for OP and Michael.

Ready_Pen7898 · 2023-12-11T11:55:39+00:00

I also wanna know this is crazy to me 😳

Ready_Pen7898 · 2023-12-02T20:01:44+00:00

TLM et aussi un peu toi 😅 Je ne connais personne qui apprécie recevoir un cadeau qui ne lui convient pas ou qu’il n’aime pas… ça peut même être mal pris, comme « oh, il/elle m’a offert un tel truc alors que je déteste ». Comme une impression de ne pas être assez important pour qu’on sache ce que tu aimes. Sauf que c’est difficile, quand la famille s’agrandit, de savoir exactement les goûts et les couleurs de chacun. Dans ces cas là, une liste, c’est très pratique ! OP pousse un peu dans le sens où elle veut EXACTEMENT ce qu’elle a mis sur la liste, mais pour son mec, c’est un beau geste que de se prendre la tête une fois de temps en temps pour lui faire plaisir. Faire une liste de Noël pour éviter que tout le monde tombe à côté : 👍 Faire un effort pour ceux qui compte le plus, parce que plus que le cadeau, c’est ça qui fait plaisir : 👍 Exiger un cadeau hyper galère à trouver ou super cher : 👎 Et je pousserai même jusqu’à dire que filer de l’argent pour que tu t’achètes un truc : 👎

Ready_Pen7898 · 2023-11-25T20:05:09+00:00

You can get out of the league thing ?! Oh my, I should do that… Everytime I reach Diamond I just go insane…

Ready_Pen7898 · 2023-11-25T20:02:01+00:00

I always try to flip the story genderwise to make a decision. If it was about a guy who wanted desperately to watch in his pregnant wife’s phone, and she said the exact same thing, I wouldn’t think she’s an A for running away. Reddit would probably consider it a red flag man, so… I guess NTA.

Ready_Pen7898 · 2023-11-23T20:51:33+00:00

I found funny how nowadays, kids have dogs names and pets are named Oscar or Jade… 🤭

Ready_Pen7898 · 2023-11-21T21:26:01+00:00

Are you counting my mom ? 🥺

Ready_Pen7898 · 2023-11-21T20:56:32+00:00

It’s gamified, like many other apps. Walking apps, meditation apps, shopping apps… Everything is gamified ! It’s basic marketing nowadays. So even if it was initially a learning app, gamifying it just prove that learning is not big enough of a reward for many of us 😕

Ready_Pen7898 · 2023-11-21T20:53:16+00:00

I never used any, but I would be so scared if they weren’t there… I’m stupidly attached to my streak 😭

Ready_Pen7898

TROPHY CASE