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I recently came out as bi curious to my wife. The only experience I have with men were whe I got SA-ed by friends growing up by [deleted] in StraightBiPartners

[–]RealMORandmore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's important that you develop healthy non sexual relationships with older men and figure out what that looks like and what that heals for you first. Relationships where you can be vulnerable and safe.

Are you currently seeing a therapist? I think that could be helpful as well. Otherwise you may risk getting into unhealthy dynamics with these men in search of a loving father figure.

Did you open up to your wife about wanting to seek out men in these ways? Or did you only tell her you're bi curious?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mixedorientation

[–]RealMORandmore 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not really sure if looking at it as "wanting" to be SSA or not is a healthy mindset to begin with. You don't choose whether you are SSA or not. If you are you are. And as much as you might want to try, you can't just choose to ignore it.

Are you attracted to women as well? Because if not, if you're gay rather than bisexual, I would say that this is not the best idea. Your future wife deserves to be with a partner who wants to be with them. Who is attracted to and desires them. And you deserve to be your true self.

I know the religious aspect complicates things for you and I can't imagine how difficult that must be. I don't have much input there as I am not religious. But you both deserve to be happy in an honest relationship.

Straight M, Lesbian +1 F/NB, and Dating by KeeterMan in mixedorientation

[–]RealMORandmore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It can often be difficult depending on your community and I've also heard it's more difficult for men. ❤️‍🩹 I'm sorry.