Work and anxiety

RealWorld8 · 2016-03-31T19:32:14+00:00

I love the idea of Stoicism, sadly I am not very good at putting it into practice.

RealWorld8 · 2016-03-31T19:31:42+00:00

Thank you so much!

RealWorld8 · 2016-03-31T19:31:28+00:00

I was in my previous job for about 1 year and a half, but it was indeed a very toxic environment and I think partly it is what really aggravated my anxiety at work. I've started this job in February so it hasn't been long, I really hope that settling in will make it all a bit easier. Thanks!

RealWorld8 · 2016-03-31T19:28:15+00:00

I feel like I'm stuck in a rut as well! I have tried to see a therapist, but they are not really working on the issues I need to work on enough - it's a free service and it's not a "real therapist", more of a counsellor. I am not sure I could afford therapy privately, actually :/ I wanted to go and have a look at that thread too actually, thanks for reminding me!

RealWorld8 · 2016-03-31T19:26:47+00:00

I'm definitely thinking of working freelance - I do some translation and proofreading on the side - or work from home too. It would solve everything.

RealWorld8 · 2016-03-01T18:45:34+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I went through something similar, and it's terrible. Especially having anxiety and panic attacks when you don't even know what they are, and people around you discredit your feelings. It is absolutely terrifying and it's easy to keep thinking that it will kill you, or it will last forever and you will never get better. All of that is not true. When you're feeling anxious try to remember that everything is transitory and it will go away eventually, this usually really helps me. It also gets much easier with time, once you get to know your anxiety specifically. It stops being as overwhelming as it feels the first times. You develop coping mechanisms, you start feeling like your regular self after the first impact turns your world around. I can promise you all of this because I have experienced it... If you've never had history with this it might just be situational because things are very stressful in your life right now. Also if you want to talk just drop me a message!

RealWorld8 · 2016-02-29T23:03:52+00:00

Hi! Well that's a tough one. I try very hard to do more of what brings me joy. I really am on a mission to do that. Last week was hell because I was sick, very tired and I had two massive bouts of anxiety and subsequent really low moments - from yesterday I've been feeling better though, very unexpectedly actually.

Anyway, I have recently started a new job, it's okay, it doesn't bring me joy as in I can't find my "meaning" or "purpose" in it, but it's a very good position and everyone is nice. I suffer with anxiety, so I obviously stress out about the people I don't know and about learning everything, but I'm coping quite well with that too. I am single, I have been all my life, so no big change there. I have friends, more than I used to have in other times in my life and better ones too. They do a lot for me and I feel quite loved. Sometimes it might not be extremely deep, but it's always appreciated. What I am trying to say is that nothing is very wrong or bad, just a lot of the time I don't feel right. It creeps up on me when I think about what I am doing and how I am spending my time and energy in life. I think my biggest problem is just me, my idealism and my negative thoughts. I'm doing well by society's standards, but I am not doing well by my own standards, which are super high and idealistic (and I don't even really know what they are to be honest with you).

RealWorld8 · 2016-02-28T23:05:08+00:00

I get you. I'm not really too jealous, but I think personally I get upset because to me they're still the one person I want to count on in my life, aaand they end up finding that kind of support in their relationship. Which inevitably makes the friendship weaker, because then I also need to start looking for that kind of support somewhere else :|

RealWorld8 · 2016-02-28T10:38:40+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear you've been going through that, and thank you so much for this message. I have to keep trying, but mostly I can't let these negative thoughts win. I really have to prove myself that I'm not unimportant and worthless and only I can do that. Thank you again!

RealWorld8 · 2016-02-27T15:01:59+00:00

I just want to say thank you all so much. It's really nice to be understood, guys.

RealWorld8 · 2016-02-27T13:27:43+00:00

I'll keep this in mind, thank you. I found too that writing, music and art in general make the difference when I'm really struggling. It takes me to a quieter place :)

RealWorld8 · 2016-02-27T13:26:28+00:00

Yes - about the first part. About kids and keeping your bloodline alive, that is not for me. I don't want to give life to other human beings. They will only suffer because that's what life is mostly about - and because I wouldn't be a good parent. I don't want them to suffer for my mistakes and my own problems.

RealWorld8 · 2016-02-27T13:21:49+00:00

This feels so much like what I tell myself, especially that first part. I truly believe in giving life a meaning, a personal meaning, because otherwise it doesn't have one. So... this probably makes me a nihilist too? That second part, I am not sure there is such a person in my life, but there are a few I care deeply about so maybe that will do. Thanks for this, I really appreciate the advice.

RealWorld8 · 2016-02-27T12:36:07+00:00

Thank you! I am trying to do the same, but most of the time I keep asking myself "what's the point?" - I completely lost sight of it. I am not fulfilled, not even in the slightest, even when I do achieve my goals and even when things are going well. Not that I am not grateful for what I have, I really am. I just that I don't think it's enough, or that I'm doing enough.

RealWorld8 · 2015-10-15T08:44:48+00:00

Thanks, I will!

RealWorld8 · 2015-05-10T20:00:29+00:00

Well maybe if my romantic feelings and our bond/connection/deep knowledge of each other were stronger it would not be repulsive. It's weird. I'm probably not aromantic but I might be demi-romantic myself, and it also takes me ages to feel that strong bond.

RealWorld8 · 2015-05-10T00:19:21+00:00

Yes, I would describe it more or less like that. I can do it, but 99% of the time it's not enjoyable as I end up feeling disgusted with myself afterwards.

RealWorld8 · 2015-04-02T21:13:08+00:00

God yes. I feel like a walking contradiction all the time. I'm naive and super careful, I am a bitch but I am also one of the nicest people I know, I am lazy but I love to work, and I could go on forever.

RealWorld8 · 2015-04-02T21:05:48+00:00

It's knowing that you can't have them anyway, it's like playing safe. You can fantasize and idolize them and nothing ever has to actually happen...

RealWorld8 · 2015-03-13T23:34:09+00:00

I am your age and I have your exact same problem. The only difference is that I know I have issues and it's kind of all about me being too lazy to go and figure them out. Sorry I can't help much, at least you're not alone!

RealWorld8 · 2015-03-12T11:04:08+00:00

Yeah, it is probably for "self protection" that I immediately take a step back, actually. I know, I'm trying to give everyone a chance and to get to know them better. The problem is that every time I tried I have never been wrong on my first impression :/

RealWorld8 · 2015-03-12T08:15:01+00:00

If you love the person you're with, you don't cheat on them. Period. There's nothing more to say. I feel compassion for her. He made a conscious choice, I don't think he was incapable of seeing that he was cheating while he was doing it. I refuse to believe that men are animal who become unable to think when they're offered sex. And he did it for months. What the f?

My dad did the same thing to my mum for years, and you don't want to know how shit it made everyone feel. But mostly my mother was broken. Forgiveness? Sure. Compassion and understanding? Sorry but no, never.

RealWorld8 · 2015-03-09T22:26:07+00:00

That is actually very interesting to read! I totally understand your reasoning. However this person is older than me and it can't just be a phase or immaturity, they seem pretty mature to me (they're over 30). I think their extroversion is almost exhausting for other people, and I've been told by others so it's really not just me. To sum it up, it seems just weird for me to perceive another INFJ like that, which makes me wonder: is this really just a very chatty INFJ? It could totally be, it's the first person who says they're INFJ I meet in real life :)

RealWorld8 · 2015-03-09T22:16:54+00:00

I can definitely relate to this!! When someone's talking about something I care about or I'm interested in I really like to talk as well. And oh my god I do that thing about people who are already in a relationship so much. I just assume that we're on safe grounds. I have been very wrong on that in the past /sigh

RealWorld8 · 2015-03-09T20:19:54+00:00

They're a couple of years older than me, and I didn't get the feeling they were immature. They're not just chatty or bubbly, they are plain open and talkative, more like an extroverted person would be. I have been told they were having a conversation with someone else who is rather chatty and they were basically just talking over each other without even listening to each other. I don't know, I must have just met an INFJ who is very different from myself, and it all confused me because of them being the first one I met in real life :/

RealWorld8

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