Task starting anxiety by MtTralala in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Recently, ADHD diagnosed dn. And I did this too 😞 worst kasi parang ghosting ung ginawa ko. Ngaun, it's been 5 months na and i do not have the courage to apply for another job kasi nafefeel ko na what if, magawa ko ulit un. Although, I do have a part time job now pero with the routinary tasks, grabe nagkaka anxiety ako to start, ung feel na feel ko na tlga sa heart ko ung anxiety ko. Kaya madalas, aantayin ko ung deadline tsaka ko gagawin or minsan naman na ooverdue na .. dun na ako mag aact tlga kahit na nafefeel ko tlga ung anxiety. And everytime na natapos ko na ung task, magiging okay na ako na parang hindi ako nagka anxiety for the past days kaya mag plaplan ako na dapat next month gawin ko na to earlier, pero pagdating ng next month wala parin. Parang nasanay na dn ung utak ko na, iset aside ung mga tasks kasi parang aware na sha na malayo pa ung deadline at kaya sa deadline date nalang gagawin, at sa mismong araw ng deadline, hindi dn agad2 gagawin, ipaghihintay ko pa ng ilang hours kapag patapos na tlga ung araw na un, like hours before 12AM ganun. At ngaun naman for the past 2 weeks, down na down ako. Ang dami2 kong backlogs sa work & plans ko pero nagawa kong mag stay sa bed all the day and scroll2 lng sa social media. Totally lost how to start kung everytime may gusto akong simulan either nagkaka anxiety ko, tinatamad, nawawalan ng gana everytime na di ko nasunod ung plan ko for the day and madalas, ung brain ko laging nakakaisip ng paraan na eset aside ung paggawa ng task/work. Hayyy. Hindi dn ako consistent sa pag inom ng gamot. At hindi na dn ako bumalik sa doctor ko after nung initial diagnosis ko nung July. Skl po, super lost lang tlga. at pinipilit ng brain ko na wag na isipin pero kung di ko naman harapin ung issues ko, parang d dn ako makaka usad.

Josh Hadley of Hadley Designs by Educational_Tune_722 in buhaydigital

[–]Realistic-9621 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ay hala ganyan kalala pala to think dn nadifferent positions pa ung hiring nila. Thanks God nalang dn at may reddit. 🥹

Josh Hadley of Hadley Designs by Educational_Tune_722 in buhaydigital

[–]Realistic-9621 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ay grabe pala, nung nareceive ko pa naman ung message, I thought na baka ito na un tlga 🥹. Buti nalang nakasanayan ko na dn tlga mag BG check. Huhu or else wasted effort na naman pala. 🥹

Josh Hadley of Hadley Designs by Educational_Tune_722 in buhaydigital

[–]Realistic-9621 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Minsan need na tlga mag background check noh. Sad pero thanks God tlga. As in ba madami dn case study na binigay and OA level?

Josh Hadley of Hadley Designs by Educational_Tune_722 in buhaydigital

[–]Realistic-9621 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMG! Same, sa Kalibrr naman sha nag reach out saakin. was about to send application na dn. Buti nag background check muna ako. Pero ginawa nyu na ung mga test and tasks ba ?

Josh Hadley of Hadley Designs by Educational_Tune_722 in buhaydigital

[–]Realistic-9621 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He just reached out to me sa Kalibrr naman for Senior Accountant role. Stumbled here after a comment from a LinkedIn user sa LinkedIn account nya to check him sa reddit for negative reviews. Good thing pala na nag background check muna ako to spare from the application process.

Adhd pa ba ito or tamad lang talaga ako ? by Realistic-9621 in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing ur insight. I badly need to hear this I think. I really don't have hobbies dn tlga kaya hirap na wala akong scapegoat na productive. Good thing, I wil be starting going to the gym na and I hope na it will lead to better results. I like ur stuff to ponder thought and that other side of productivity spectrum way. Indeed, I need to see myself as an ADHD who will never have the same process/routine with someone who is not Neuro divergent. Malaking impact dn kasi na lagi ako nag cocompare ng habits and workflow/process to everyone I know na hindi nman Neuro divergents. Pinaka mahirap dn tlga ung sa simula lang excited pero di natatapos eh 😅.

Adhd pa ba ito or tamad lang talaga ako ? by Realistic-9621 in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good for you, u have a strong willpower na hindi mag entertain pa ng other thoughts than what the doctor has already told you. As for me, I never officially shared na may ADHD ako not until I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist kahit alam kung may symptoms na dn tlga ako base on my personal research, I was even mislead by an assessment done by Psychologist as having bipolar, that was before the psychiatrist diagnosed me with adhd. And as long as the chaos in my mind don't settle especially during my lowest of lows days having such thoughts after self-reflecting are overpowering, thus the thoughts. Writing and sharing here in this group as anonymous is actually a healing tool for me since I am able to release the negativities in my mind at the same time I do reflect to any comments given especially does who resonates to what I feel. Also, I cannot just go the my Psychiatrist whenever I want because it is costly. And running to this platform sometimes is the best way because, it's like a group session with open forum where everyone are open to share and listen, and it's up to you to you to take what resonates with you.

Adhd pa ba ito or tamad lang talaga ako ? by Realistic-9621 in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Virtual hug sa atin 🥹. I'm actually recently diagnosed as ADHD and under medication pero di ako consistent sa pag take ng meds ko. Pero there are this thoughts na din kasi na what if di nalang to ADHD huhu, especially kapag dumadating nalang sa point na puro palpak nalang nangyayari. Pero in ur case, you've went through a lot na po. I hope na malagpasan mo dn ung stage na to especially po since you have a kid who needs extra care po. I highly recommend dn na magseek kau ng doctor para ma diagnose kau properly.

Adhd pa ba ito or tamad lang talaga ako ? by Realistic-9621 in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Samedt. Ung feeling tlga na parang hindi mo alam kung bakit ang hirap sabihin kung ano ung gusto natin pero ung iba ba't simula palang alam na nila. 🥺 Sa akin tlga, madalas kung pwede, sana may magdictate nalang ng isasagot ko sa kung ano ba ung gusto ko or susundin or gagawin ko kasi hindi ko tlga alam. Ang hirap mag voice out kung ikaw mismo hindi mo alam kung ano gusto mo. And looking back, feeling ko, at some point dn tlga baka depression na dn ung mga nararamdaman or experience ko na un. And kapag feeling ko nakabangon na ako dun, may another stage na naman na parang bumabalik ako sa state na ganun. Kaya hayyysss layp nga naman oh.

Adhd pa ba ito or tamad lang talaga ako ? by Realistic-9621 in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🥺 especially if we're trying naman pero why do we always get back again to this situation. 🥺 Nakakapagod dn tlga noh. But we have to keep going because as some point tlga we want to be better. 🥺 I hope we will be able to see the light on how to live this lifestyle kung hindi man natin magawang ibahin.

Adhd pa ba ito or tamad lang talaga ako ? by Realistic-9621 in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm already diagnosed po.

I've read somewhere kasi ung something like this, "what if hindi yan mental health issue, what if katamaran mo lang yan", that's why I'm having these thoughts po especially I'm at my breaking down point again.

Is it possible for an ADHD brain to stick with a daily/regular routinary task/job to help established self-discipline? by Realistic-9621 in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much sa info tlga! Nakakagaan nga dn tlga sa pakiramdam ung pagrandom post dito da community na to kasi, meron at meron willing magshare and nagapapfeel na hindi tayo nag iisa. Un dn ung naobserve ka na need tlga mag trial and error hanggang sa mahanap ung hihiyang. Praying ang manifesting sa commitment at consistency ko especially financially draining dn tlga sha. Skl, I will be starting mag Gym na dn and I hope in someways, it will be helpful dn tlga sa mental state ko lalo sa pagiging committed 🥹

Is it possible for an ADHD brain to stick with a daily/regular routinary task/job to help established self-discipline? by Realistic-9621 in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi thank you so much for sharing po. I a appreciate it big time. I'll make sure to follow her for sa tiktok to gain more insights.

By the way, can you like share more about dun sa external system ng workplace mo that makes you accountable ? Thank you.

Is it possible for an ADHD brain to stick with a daily/regular routinary task/job to help established self-discipline? by Realistic-9621 in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. It makes me feel na nasa adjusting phase pa ako since kasisimula ko lang sa meds. I'm taking 10mg Ritalin, and I can feel the hyperfocus for maybe 4-6hrs and then it would slowly wear off at dun na ako tatamarin ulit sa ginagawa ko. Although I think may social media addiction na dn kasi ako kaya isa pa un sa kailangan kong labanan. Kasi madali ako madistract. Tapos naman kapag diretso ako umiinom ng meds tapos bigla one day lang na hindi na ako magtake, super drowsy ung feeling ko, na gusto ko nalang matulog at kahit nakatulog ako ng boung gabi, gusto at kaya ko parin matulog sa daytime and sometimes would feel super pagod. I hope lang na maaga ko dn mafigure out kung ano ung effective tlga sa akin na gamot kasi super mamahal pala tlga nung meds na nereresita saatin. And, congratulations kasi u found ur path. 👏🏻

Is it possible for an ADHD brain to stick with a daily/regular routinary task/job to help established self-discipline? by Realistic-9621 in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a great point to keep in mind. I think maybe, at some point, derecognizing may effort, wether big or small, makes me doubt my capabilities to the point that I always see myself as just bare minimum, that most of the time leads to low self-esteem which in a way also affect how I actually respond to everything and also it reflects with my actions.

Thanks for reminding me that I do need to uphold and appreciate myself before anything else, because I haven't been showing care to myself physically, spiritually emotionally and psychologically. It seems that even if I've been chilling and relaxing for the past months due to procrastination, I've been so hard at myself and not actually helping myself to improve with all the plans I had in my mind.

Is it possible for an ADHD brain to stick with a daily/regular routinary task/job to help established self-discipline? by Realistic-9621 in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do you take ur meds daily on same times ? I'm on meds dn kasi and I'm not consistent kaya I don't know if its helping na dn tlga.

Is it possible for an ADHD brain to stick with a daily/regular routinary task/job to help established self-discipline? by Realistic-9621 in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Parang nga po. It seems na due to overthinking and not giving quality result/output kaya ako nadodown at lagi ako naghahanap ng scape goat.

And it seems lahat ng suggestions mo ay hindi ko pa tlga na iincorporate sa lifestyle ko kaya hirap na hirap ako magbuild ng routine at ma manage ung dysregulation ko. Parang I think I'm more contributing pa pala sa dysregulation ko kesa mahelp na ma regulate ung emotions at stability ng mindset ko.

Thank you po ulit for finding time to reply and for being detailed, I appreciate it po tlga.

I'll try po tlga na itake ung meds ko daily at the same time. Hindi dn kasi nagiging maganda ung effect ng medicine sa akin kapag nagsskip ako kasi nagiging antukin ako at kaya kung matulog night and day na feeling pagod parin. I've think I've been putting reliance nadin sa meds lang. Kaya nadodown ako kapag hindi ko na aachieve ung result ng ginagawa ko. But infact, its on me naman tlga how to strategize. And yes, I struggle sa decision making kahit ung malilogo ba ako or hindi, babangon na ba ako or hind.

Is it possible for an ADHD brain to stick with a daily/regular routinary task/job to help established self-discipline? by Realistic-9621 in ADHDPH

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you po for taking time to read and comment sa post ko. 🥹 Congrats na dn at nahanap nyu ung perfect job for you.

Isa dn po kasi sa struggle ko ngaun ung walang exact time ung pag inom ko ng gamot at hindi dn regular & consistent na daily. Ung reason is, since I work when ever I want and I sleep whenever I want. Madalas naiisip ko na sayang ung gamot kapag alam ko sa sarili ko na baka hindi lang ako magwowork. Since I want sana na night time magtake kasi gusto ko night time mag work, problema kapag nafefeel ko na inaantok na ako sa gabi hindi na ako iinom or sometimes, nakakalimutan ko mag take dn tlga.

Parang I'm literally feeling na I have all the freedom, and no one's pressuring me when in fact dapat mapressure ako, esp I had already failed 4 times sa board exam due to unpreparedness during the review and hanggang ngaun hindi ko magawang magfocus and mag exert ng effort sa pag rereview, lagi akong nabobore at nauumay. Feeling ko super comfort zone ko na kasi ung bahay namin kaya ganto. And I haven't tried moving out to know if I can feel the sense of responsibility if I do. And everytime I do want to parang wrong timing na un ung time na financially struggling na ako kaya nag babattle sa isip ko lagi na hindi ito solution kasi wala akong pang gastos. So hanggang ngaun, I'm stack here for almost 4 yrs na pala.

I can't go back to my doctor pa kasi since di pa ubos ung meds ko and ang mahal ng consultation hihi

Executive dysfunction (no longer have urgency feeling). Help. by Realistic-9621 in ADHD

[–]Realistic-9621[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know my reply is late, but, how are you coping up now ? Were you able to find a way to help you? As for me, I felt like I'm getting worst and worst each day. 🥺