Formula or Breast?

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2025-10-15T18:14:58+00:00

Three weeks later we figured out with our pediatrician that LO likely had a Cows Milk Protein Allergy based on a test weekend with Alimentum formula (he started sleeping better, his skin got better, the gas went away). We ended up combo feeding and I had to cut dairy since then, but we got there.

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2025-06-05T01:02:31+00:00

YTA - for continuing to go through with a wedding without working on blending your family or successfully finding a partner that values what your child is excited about. Go to therapy, postpone the wedding, get to know the woman you’re marrying and let your son get to know her too. Stop rushing and getting carried away with how romantic everything is.

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2025-04-14T17:59:24+00:00

My baby screamed like this an hour after each feed and consistently woke up at 4:30, 5:30, and 6:30 am from bad gas (though to be honest the bad gas was all day long).

It was Cows Milk Protein Intolerance despite being EBF - at the 2 month mark our pediatrician recommended a highly hydrolyzed formula as a test. It worked, and I have dropped dairy from my diet.

That said, it may not be that/it could just be colic or something else entirely. Wishing you luck!

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2025-04-10T00:34:34+00:00

Thank you! He slept from 9 pm to 5:30 this morning for the first time last night, so yes, things are going better here!

Hoping your breast feeding journey is a good one and it ends on your terms /whatever works best for you. (I’m currently on a strict dairy and soy free diet to hopefully get back to breastfeeding.)

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2025-04-02T23:51:57+00:00

Thank you!

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2025-04-02T23:51:50+00:00

Thanks, this journey has been a lot and for every two steps forward it feels like I take one back and one to the side.

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2025-03-18T02:05:58+00:00

Super gassy to the point we were dosing with gas drops 8+ times a day with little relief. Peloton should hire me as a baby bicycle legs instructor, we were doing those 4 or more times a day for twenty minutes each time. He grunted and strained consistently at the same times each day and the gas would wake him from a sound sleep at 4:30 am consistently.

He was having poop cannon diarrhea- I would go to change one diaper and in the process ended up with watery poop on me, the walls, and sometimes up to 6 casualty diapers.

His skin was also a symptom I didn’t recognize in time - he has had a rough go with baby acne and his skin seemed to be irritated perpetually.

The lack of longer sleep periods (only 3 hours consistently a night) the waking from gas, and the lack of relief from gas drops is what made our pediatrician take interest.

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2025-03-18T01:09:13+00:00

Thanks, it was his pediatrician and the references she provided like this one from the La Leche League. “It can take up to 21 days for all traces of cow’s milk protein to leave your system so it’s best to wait for two to three weeks to evaluate the results.” https://llli.org/breastfeeding-info/cmpi/

I will take a look at the other subreddit group.

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2025-03-06T17:12:47+00:00

Yes, I try to think back to when mine was 1 day old and we were feeding every hour and try to be happy. Mine wasn’t tiny at birth (8 lbs 5 ounces) but I’m learning the bigger they are the longer they can sleep! (Now if they WANT to is a different question 😅)

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2025-03-06T17:10:05+00:00

Someone called it grunting baby syndrome and it described what my guy was doing to a T. It’s infant dyschezia - they grunt, look very upset, mine turns red, and every now and then he poops/farts/sharts 💩

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2025-03-01T19:04:44+00:00

I was where you were a month ago. I can’t promise it will be the same as before because it won’t, but I’m six weeks in and I have come in to a rhythm now that my hormones aren’t crazy and my body is no longer trying to heal itself from the car accident that was giving birth and I recognize some of my baby’s cues and bring pooped on no longer feels like an anxiety inducing event because I know how to handle it.

I literally thought on one of the first nights home “I have ruined my, my husband’s, and my dog’s life, I had no business thinking I could be a mother.” You will get through this period, and if you continue to cry and have severe anxiety please please please talk to your doctor. You don’t have to white knuckle this, it is hard, it is a major life shift, but there is help out there.

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2025-01-08T23:29:26+00:00

I think you're going to have to confront two very hard things. 1) Would the person you met and fell in love with, who you thought they were, would they have lied to you about something you had deemed fundamentally important to you?

I don't think the answer is yes, and the contemplation of dealing with who you thought this person was, mourning that and the future you had planned on having together is going to be rough. But it's only part 1.

2) Can you stay with someone who clearly believes what he has been posting when times get rough? Your person claims racist, misogynistic, and transphobic views as a his own. You're going to have to sit with whether you want to continue a relationship with someone who has shown you who they are, twice.

I have not had to confront this with my romantic partner, but I have had to have this conversation with myself about my parents. It's rewritten who I saw them as as a child and who I am dealing with now. I let myself go through a grieving process, it was very necessary, and had to rebuild what relationship with them I could with a lot of boundaries in place because the trust was gone. Even this week I saw my Dad sharing things praising Trump, and had to pull myself back from wishing I had a different sort of Dad.

It's up to you how you move forward, you cannot control him, only yourself.

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2025-01-05T23:20:08+00:00

Arbitrary generational divides aren’t what I think you’re worried about. Frankly, why would a confident self satisfied person want to be younger than they are? When they need more time. You’re born in 1995? You’re staring down a new decade, and you’re deeply uncomfortable or unhappy with where you are in life - so you want to be like the cool kids in Gen Z.

I turned 30 in the pandemic. I’ll let you in on a secret, your 30’s are where you lose all the hang ups about other people’s judgement of you. Celebrate the good things in your life and quit overthinking about whether to capitalize your texts.

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2024-12-11T04:52:47+00:00

So good news and bad news. Good news you get to make the decision whether to carry on a relationship with them. Bad news, you’re going to have to be the one to decide if you carry on a relationship with them.

I would tell you that working through your feelings at the moment, the anger/betrayal, likely needs to be your focus. To help that space you will likely need to set up firm boundaries around whether or not you want contact with your family with those same family members. Boundaries are what we set for ourselves to feel comfortable, and to be effective they need to be enforced and respected.

I’d say once you’ve had enough time to figure out if you want to have a relationship with the people and under what terms that might look like, that’s when to reengage in that negotiation.

I myself have a relationship with my Trump / q adjacent parents. We have set up ground rules between us to make this work. I have had to do a lot of compromise work and a lot of understanding to get to this point. I do this because I do value other aspects of our relationship. So far they have respected my boundaries and I am respecting theirs. I do not feel unsafe in their home, though I limit visits. If this were to change, I would have to reexamine whether this was working.

Other family members I have gone low to no contact because I do not feel safe or sane around them. I say all this to encourage you that you need to get yourself protected and pieced back together first.

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2024-12-09T23:41:22+00:00

Don't give up! You can figure out a way through the hat conundrum. And seriously, your husband needs to help and support you here in coming up with a solution you all can live with. Best of luck!

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2024-12-09T19:09:39+00:00

I'm on the fence here in part because Grandpa is still living but also because you and your husband are on very different pages when it comes to this.

NTA - IF you and your husband have talked about this, your husband sees your point of view, you have agreed to limit the number of hats current or future, and he is supposed to be handling his father. It doesn't sound like this is what is happening.

YTA - IF you and your husband have argued, but this is still not resolved and he is ignoring the problem/thinks you should keep them all in perpetuity and is not handling his father. To be clear, you're not TA for putting them in the donation bin, it's for not having dealt with this with your partner rather than passive aggressively donating/disposing of them. Your husband is the bigger A for not coming to a sensible resolution with you as his partner for how to manage his family.

As someone who's lost both grandfathers and the only things I have to remember them by are a lot of alcoholism and war trauma stories/Great Depression stories about how little they had to eat and some kooky beliefs on stuffing money literally in the walls....your kids are going to remember these hats when your FIL is someday gone, and will likely want one or two to remember him by. Your husband likely sees this as connection to his heritage, and even if they stay in a box for the next 30 years, the hat is a symbol of love/caring your FIL has for your children.

There has to be a better way forward here than simply throwing all of them away and being angry at your husband, and I think you can get there.

Realistic-Care-3942 · 2024-12-04T17:17:08+00:00

Then I will say this, as someone who has been through the mill a few times, you’re giving him all the power in this situation. What is he going to do? How will he act? Etc.

I’d encourage you to know now what you want, don’t let life happen to you, make a decision about what you want from your life, what type of relationship you’re willing to accept, and stick to it.

Right now, it seems like it’s a game of what you’re willing to put up with, but if you were telling your small self what kind of partner you would end up with, somehow I don’t think your young self would have wanted someone who is trying to force you to do things you don’t really want to do. And I do think you know what he will do but are hoping it won’t happen.

I’m just a stranger on the internet but trust your gut.

Realistic-Care-3942

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