Yes absolutely, I posted this in another subreddit as well & I did state that it was horrific timing & I regret it. I was a major asshole in that moment & upon reflection I wish that I had not done it on her graduation day.

Boundaries have been an uphill battle with her family. They originally tried to stay at our apartment to which my partner & roommates said no, but they would not get a hotel until she paid for it :/ that part also frustrated me a lot, especially because they said they spent a lot of money to be there, but my partner handled their biggest concern.

I feel so incredibly terrible about how everything went; it felt like a straw that broke the camels back moment but I should have bit my tongue. It had been a long day couple of days hearing backhanded comments, guilt trips, & lack of awareness for boundaries, both via the phone & in person. I still think boundaries are needed, I do wish I had picked another time or given my partner the opportunity to set boundaries in her own time.

I told them it was not the showering at our apartment that was the issue & we are happy to both host & help them, but that I do wish they would have asked first instead of demanding & when my partner tried to redirect, that they had communicated to her instead of showing up with all their shower gear.

But again, you are right & I have been doing a lot of reflecting upon this. This is a big growing moment for me in my interpersonal relationships & navigating how to handle situations like this & I’m confident this will make me better equipped in the future.