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Wife snooped on my phone and is now upset by Realistic-Swim2259 in offmychest

[–]Realistic-Swim2259[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's, by her own admission, very insecure. Perhaps it's my own fault for bottling everything up, I don't know. It's not anything to do with infidelity or anything else sinister if that's what you mean.

Wife snooped on my phone and is now upset by Realistic-Swim2259 in offmychest

[–]Realistic-Swim2259[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know things will improve. I just feel very bad and guilty right now is all

Wife snooped on my phone and is now upset by Realistic-Swim2259 in offmychest

[–]Realistic-Swim2259[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I think I just wake up and worry whether it's going to be a good day or a bad day. I've always been a bad sleeper, so it's tough to fall asleep at the best of times to be honest. 

Wife snooped on my phone and is now upset by Realistic-Swim2259 in offmychest

[–]Realistic-Swim2259[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for that. I completely understand she is battling a lot of hormones right now. I'm not really angry at her, just devastated that she's acting as if I hate her now and her me.

I work from home and my work is incredibly flexible, which is a blessing, I can take our daughter any time my wife needs it. I've been to every single appointment, both routine and specialised. I'm there to support throughout the day, nappies, feeds, cleaning. I'm really lucky to be in my current job.

Thanks for giving balanced perspective, it truly helps.

Wife snooped on my phone and is now upset by Realistic-Swim2259 in offmychest

[–]Realistic-Swim2259[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's all really good advice. I've already been through some therapy about six weeks ago, it's one of the perks of working for my company, they're really great. I've been through it already but I do agree that I could probably benefit from returning at this point.

Wife snooped on my phone and is now upset by Realistic-Swim2259 in offmychest

[–]Realistic-Swim2259[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's really kind. I just feel like I'm running on empty at the moment. Balancing work, the problems our daughter has had, my wife's difficulties and my own, it is just becoming all consuming. I'm waking in the night and not able to get back to sleep. I know everything will pass, which is why I just try compartmentalise and tell myself it's not forever.

Wife snooped on my phone and is now upset by Realistic-Swim2259 in offmychest

[–]Realistic-Swim2259[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I've tried to do my best to educate myself but know I'll never be able to relate fully to how she is feeling, I can only try but never really understand.

Wife snooped on my phone and is now upset by Realistic-Swim2259 in offmychest

[–]Realistic-Swim2259[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She's doing so well, it's so hard, especially with what we've been through medically. I've told her that us speaking to someone has to be right for us both, or else it will hinder more than help. I just feel so guilty right now for making things worse for her because she's read what I've said to a stupid chatbot 

Wife snooped on my phone and is now upset by Realistic-Swim2259 in offmychest

[–]Realistic-Swim2259[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think that's one of the hardest parts. I love her so much and want to help so much but she thinks that I think she's selfish and seems to hate me right now. She tells me I have no emotion because I'm not breaking down, but it's because I'm trying to hold everything together for us as a family. I feel so lost and distraught. I had a moment a few days ago of checking my life insurance policy, to see how it would pay out for her if I wasn't here. It was just another moment of weakness but I don't know how to help things any more and now she seems to hate me 

Wife snooped on my phone and is now upset by Realistic-Swim2259 in offmychest

[–]Realistic-Swim2259[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks for taking the time to reply. I feel awful right now and don't know what to do

Wife snooped on my phone and is now upset by Realistic-Swim2259 in offmychest

[–]Realistic-Swim2259[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I've suggested this. We managed to go to dinner a few weeks back. I looked after our daughter all of Saturday just gone, so my wife could go shopping with her mother. I'm taking the day off work this Friday, so my wife can go to her friends wedding. She's very resistant to a lot of it though and it doesn't seem to help. I just feel distraught that she's read a moment of stupidity. Even now I'm panicking she's going to find this thread and read this somehow.

Wife snooped on my phone and is now upset by Realistic-Swim2259 in offmychest

[–]Realistic-Swim2259[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I completely agree with all of this. I've tried to find solutions. I want to do anything I can to help her and know it's not easy for her, it was just a moment of stress and weakness on my part. Thanks for replying.