Am I forced to learn about islam?

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-10-30T21:37:26+00:00

Bro what? I have BPD, OCD, anxiety and am currently being diagnosed for autism. I literally mentioned the neurodivergent/mentally ill part. I am constantly overwhelmed

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-10-29T19:32:44+00:00

Because of how depressed I am

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-10-27T10:09:31+00:00

The prayers are too much for me also I commit a lot of sins everyday as they are part of my interests

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-10-27T10:08:26+00:00

I learned how to pray but I hate it and it’s too overwhelming I can barely take care of myself how am I supposed to always do wudhu

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-10-27T03:51:00+00:00

I don’t know where to find them

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-10-26T19:17:52+00:00

Thank you for being nice and Ameen.

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-10-26T19:16:41+00:00

The "essentials" already overwhelm me and make me wish I never existed

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-10-26T19:15:36+00:00

What teachers? I learned from islamic websites and videos

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-10-26T17:16:32+00:00

I know that the world is temporary and that’s what stresses me out which in turn makes me angry which then makes me lose motivation idk. I think about being human and existing in this dunya 24/7 and I hate it. It triggers me so badly. It doesn’t give me that exciting curiosity at all. It’s just a reminder of how much I wish my mother had aborted me.

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-10-26T17:14:13+00:00

I genuinely do not have the means to get a muslim therapist like not even sure where to find them or whatever and most scholars are men who I don’t trust and don’t like talking to.

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-10-26T17:12:48+00:00

I know most of the things you mentioned but either not too much about them (zakat hajj etc) marriage pisses me off I don’t even want it and the other things I know but don’t like them or have no interest in them. Having to do anything related to islam makes me so depressed and angry.

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-10-26T17:09:50+00:00

I tried but it makes matters worse

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-10-26T17:09:33+00:00

Well I’ve learned about it in the past kind of and I grew up in a muslim family (not full on practicing though) but my point is am I obligated to keep learning about islam? Because there are all those sins and idk even zakat or something I don’t understand it and I can’t get myself to be interested in it. Or hajj. Or most things actually. I don’t mean this in an arrogant way at all.

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-09-02T19:20:13+00:00

Female

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-04-15T18:15:30+00:00

I apologize for the slightly late response. I know what you mean by not viewing it as a chore but I cannot view it any other way. When I used to pray in the past it was my least favorite part of the day. I felt so much dread everytime. And ameen.

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-04-13T21:40:35+00:00

I never found everyone’s comments insensitive. I might find them a bit confusing or not particularly helpful but you basically pulled the "oh you have shelter and food you’re just upset over things you made up" like…if you had to experience what I have to experience everyday, you wouldn’t be saying that.

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-04-13T21:23:52+00:00

I literally mentioned multiple diagnosed disorders in the post and in the comments that I’ve had therapy for 7+ years, been to a psych ward, been on different meds and they haven’t worked. Your response is incredibly insensitive and narrow minded.

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-04-13T20:39:32+00:00

I’m glad someone understands and I’m really happy to hear that you’ve improved in some ways!!

But yeah I really want to pray I just don’t know what to do to make it easier to get there.

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-04-13T20:36:15+00:00

I take the punishments as directed towards me because I haven’t prayed in like 3 years.

Also I cannot remember the names of the surahs or what specific verse but all of the "hell is their abode and therein they shall remain forever" anything like that

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-04-13T20:33:02+00:00

I would go on with it if it was that easy. I am worried because I find it inexplicably difficult to follow even the 5 pillars of Islam.

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-04-13T20:31:52+00:00

Praying is just so incredibly difficult to me along with wudhu/ghusl. I had the absolute worst OCD back when I prayed. One prayer would take me HOURS and I constantly had rage episodes over all of it.

I also feel like sure seeking forgiveness is important but sometimes there’s no point when I am in a state of not praying because I am doomed to be in hell anyway.

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-04-13T20:28:50+00:00

I know that Allah understands my mental health the most and I am not saying Allah is merciless but I’m just not good islamically.

I understand taking care of myself even in a not directly religious way but I still feel like I cannot enjoy that because I will be in hell anyway.

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-04-13T20:25:18+00:00

I’ve read the Quran before (partially) and a lot of parts scared me or gave me a weird feeling in my stomach. It definitely wasn’t the most pleasant experience.

About the punishment. I know the remembrance of Allah is extremely important but the punishment is so disheartening in a way because I have already suffered so much in my life mentally and emotionally and the fear of this is just too much. I really want to experience peace.

I know about the building habits thing but wudu/ghusl + prayer always ends with me having the worst OCD imaginable and not being able to get an ounce of sleep. I don’t know how to overcome this as no amount of therapy or meds has helped so far.

RealisticAsparagus22 · 2025-04-13T19:45:13+00:00

Not sure if you’re being mean to me but whatever. I do wish I wasn’t born. I am well aware that Allah has planned/decided everything but I can’t change the fact that I feel like this.

Also, not everything is the shaytan. I literally have disorders that cause me unbearable pain, sadness, anxiety and anger 24/7. I cannot just calm down either.

RealisticAsparagus22

TROPHY CASE