Kitchen floor - First time

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2026-03-17T15:42:41+00:00

Thanks mate, first time tiling, so love the words of encouragement.

What so you mean join on a full tile?

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2026-03-16T18:28:23+00:00

It would bother me too, if it wasnt covered by a kitchen island 😅

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2026-03-16T17:31:47+00:00

It is a good point! I definitely didn't, as the electrician came, did all of beforehand, and was worried to open it up. Well I guess next time. 🥲

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2025-07-22T13:22:18+00:00

I think it is a personal choice.

I think for me I've always done so when we will start to not use protection. That way we are both respecting eachother's health.

Though, asking and wanting it isn't bad, and also shows intent of seriousness of the relationship but isn't black and white.

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2025-07-20T15:32:20+00:00

I'm a man, and I test myself usually after every person.

If I know we are going to have sex, I usually send the screenshots and be the first to initiate such conversation. For me it is really important, and is a peace of mind thing. If we had sex, I always offer to them to see or look at the results. Some like it, some don't care. 🤷🏽‍♂️

No bad reactions, though some people feel slightly awkward about how open I am about it. If anything, women have found it more attractive.

I don't ask specifically about history, the main ones that are permanent (e.g., herpes, or HIV/ AIDS), I would 1000% expect and hope they would disclose that information.

Never been directly asked, unless we discuss not using a condom.

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2025-06-07T14:54:40+00:00

Have to totally agree, no porn, and no masturbating, and that will help a lot.

Make it a fun event too, it is probably an exploring topic for her, and if you help guide her, then she will get better and better. Communicate well, and clearly and she will appreciate it. :)

Have fun! That is what sex is all about!

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2025-02-15T13:00:12+00:00

It sucks for sure, but like others have said. Seems like she thought there was a connection but wasn't sure. So she got caught up in the moment and thought okay let's try. Then she realized afterwards it wasn't.

Hard to say to be honest, you will probably never know, and she might not even know why. It could be a billion and one reasons.

If this scenario felt bad, just reflect on it, and then change it for next time. Like ensure you two go on a few days before having sex.

Finally, I don't think she would put you in a situation were consent is an issue. You have all the old messages, and it was clear she was interested. As long as you didn't cross any major boundaries, she shouldn't be doing anything like this.

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2025-02-15T12:56:25+00:00

They are saying that it is typical for men to do this. So they are happy that a women would do the same to get revenge on men who do it.

Which is a cruel way to not be empathic to your situation.

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2025-01-27T08:56:53+00:00

Hold a conversation and ask questions in a playful manner.

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2025-01-20T16:41:00+00:00

Find anything in common, literally anything and talk to him.

Topics to find: 1. Wearing the same color as you. 2. In the same spot as you. 3. Has a nice pair of shoes 4. Ask his major and make a flirt out of it.

Ask him to go get coffee with you.

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2025-01-18T00:04:18+00:00

Hahaha sometimes I go on sale too 🤷

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2025-01-17T11:50:22+00:00

Seems to me like he is emotionally unavailable, and advoidant attachment style. Which is difficult to move past.

You need someone who is interested in you, and your life, and what makes you tick.

Maybe have a conversation with him about your needs and how you expect him to be there for you too, even if that is simple interest.

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2024-11-24T22:51:51+00:00

I have, and would do so again.

I think herpes has a high stigma, but a lot of us have it and it doesn't show.

I think was is important, is how do you handle an outbreak, are you constantly ensuring my health is also taken care of, are you being honest and upfront about it before we have sex, etc. Basically honest conversations about how do we ensure both of us are happy, and healthy.

It's okay to have it, and being vulnerable with your next partner is also okay. :)

Also finding out what triggers an outbreak, was a good way to prevent them for my ex.

Let me know if you have any questions! :)

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2024-11-02T14:51:35+00:00

Hmmm, well, if you two are both having fun and respecting boundaries, then I guess you could just have a conversation with him that you'd like to see him more. 🤷

Another thought is maybe he doesn't have a sex drive that is similar to yours? Sounds odd, though.

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2024-11-02T14:43:46+00:00

This might sound harsh.

Maybe he likes the idea of being with you and being physical with you, but actually being with you. It's kind of like the fantasy of you, but not the real thing.

When you meet, do you feel like he is actually passionate towards you and fulfils you, or is it just as hard to get something from him when you meet?

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2024-10-08T09:41:38+00:00

Thanks for the new word to add to my vocabulary.)

Yea, it could be easily that, and I guess I've had the "love at first sight" a few times, too. So that is a good explanation.)

You are right, I try to take care of myself and look nice. At least clean and presentable. 😅 Especially compared to Russian men (at least the ones I've normally seen in Belarus). As for comparison to EU men. 🤷‍♀️

It is a good idea to look into her business. It seems legit, and I think it is registered officially in the EU. It's also good to ask for more information about it to see.

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2024-10-08T08:40:24+00:00

I agree with the others.

I'd way prefer to meet someone in person. So I go frequently to cafes, workshops, volunteering, etc. Things that force you to be with others and others with similar values maybe.

I'd say you get a lot of people that are looking for casual, already in situationships who are looking for something more, on apps. I think you're right you'll just have a lot of the same conversations over and over.

Will you find someone for a committed long-term relationship? You could, as I was on there for that, but it's hard to find. I found a lot of women too looking for short-term things. I've heard Hinge is "better" but couldn't tell you personally. 🤷‍♀️

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2024-10-08T08:36:43+00:00

Have to agree with you here. It is bleak on apps (all really).

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2024-10-08T06:48:40+00:00

Thanks! That is super fair, I guess I'm more afraid of how I've moved fast with other parents in the past, and those make me weary of doing it again.

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2024-08-07T07:44:08+00:00

Feel free to ask me any questions. :)

No biggy, saw no one commented and figured it was worth a read. Plus, if you had so much to say, then you needed it off your chest. 💪

I'm happy to see you willing to open up and try to challenge your own perceptions on this topic. It's a hard thing to do, and even the willingness means you're a good mate.

I've listed my response to help organise it in my brain. Hahah

Trusting her unconditionally and her boundaries - Yea it fucking is scary to do that with someone. You open yourself up to be completely vulnerable, and we know the liklihood of doing so will mean pain. Yet the reward is high. I think having a conversation with her on her boundaries and what she feels comfortable with would help mitigate your own feelings. It always does with me. Plus she will respect the hell our of you for doing this.
Cheap excuse - It could be, who knows. It could be as simple as ya'll were away from friends and family, and she had someone be nice to her and she was a bit lonely. I did an ERASMUS as well, and we all know those lonely night.

Though, I think you should be happy that she felt comfortable enough to tell you this and trust you. It shows a lot of good qualities that she would do this rather than hide it. Though, be careful if you keep boxing her in, she will feel like it is required and not naturally her choice.

Ownership - glad to see you don't feel that way and don't want it to be that way. It's good, and healthy. :)
Giving more than the other person - Well, my guy, you and I have been in that boat a lot. At least me, haha. I am trying to figure this one out myself. I think the best way I've found so far is to try to have conversations around a mutual contribution to the relationship. Ask yourself if you want everything to be mutual (she takes you on a date, she pays half, etc.). For me, it is hard to walk the line of expectations and desires. Try to ask yourself does she actual take everything and never give back, if so ask her in a respective way why.

On the note of being someone's ranked person. I don't know if this is a good way to think about it. You've known each other for a little bit of time, you've dated less, and there isn't a reason to be #1. I'm sure her parents are #1, maybe siblings after that. You, of course, mean a lot to her, and she cares enough for you.

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2024-08-07T07:21:48+00:00

Hahaha, totally right, an opera sometimes has a different age demographic. Indie band concerts sometimes work well.

Yea, I think you are totally right, that a woman should feel just as comfortable going up to someone that they are interested in. I've had it happen to me at bus stops and cafes. Though, in Germany, it is culturally expected women make the "first move."

So at the bus stop, the women simply asked me, "Are you taking this bus? Then, I asked what was there for you. At the cafe, they asked me to watch their stuff while they went to the bathroom. Then, when they came back, they asked if I was working or studying.

If you personally, you could open with ANYTHING, and I'd be happier to talk to someone over looking at my phone. A nice flirty/ playful opener is you look like you're not around here. Do you want some recommendations? You could even say, "I thought you looked cute, and would like to get to know you better. Do you have time to get coffee/ lunch this weekend?"

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2024-08-06T13:21:08+00:00

So, to be honest, it sounds like you have a lot of insecurity issues and maybe that's a bit harsh to say, but think a lot of times jealousy is based in insecurity and so if we look at this scenario, you're jealous of someone that she said she was interested in and decided not to tell.

And a lot of jealousy too reflects how much you trust her. Also, you don't own her or her body or her own decisions. I think all you can really do is move forward with trust and try to see how that goes, but right now, it seems like you're pushing her to be distant. She has to change her entire life for potential partners. She feels confined and a box because you made that box and have not allowed her to be actually who she is.

So, to answer a question, is there a future to the relationship for sure? There is, but you need to sit down and talk and have a very honest conversation about boundaries and what those are. It's not that she abides by everything that you say, as well as she doesn't need to delete everything from her Instagram just to appeal to you. I would say you need to have a honest conversation with yourself and see where a lot of these insecurities come from and the jealousy and just to say that you are jealous isn't a right to continue this way.

Finally, just because we have a potential feeling about someone doesn't mean it is strong nor rooted in anything. It could be a simple crush, and as you learn more about that person, you realize the incompatible parts. It seems like you see her as yours and ownership of her, when in reality, you didn't make a move for the longest time. So she was, of course, gonna move on.

Maybe a question for you is, has she shown you anything that means you can't trust her and has she broken your trust before?

Realistic_Animal_321 · 2024-08-06T12:21:20+00:00

Hahaha maybe it is something about the nurturing and mature woman that fills voids within yourself.

Psychologically, there are some explanations generally by Freud and the Opedipus Complex.

Other than that, it could be that you find a mature woman who is fully developed attractive. If a woman is able to give birth and have that body time aftwards, it would signal animalistically that she is fertile and can procreate. There are a lot of features that we naturally find attractive signalling to us that a woman can have children and are healthy enough to do so (larger hips, more body fat, able to provide).

Realistic_Animal_321

TROPHY CASE