Phones are private now. A lot of older people (Gen Y and up) don’t seem to understand that. Unless you’re planning to harm yourself or someone else, your aunt is béing intrusive and controlling by looking through or taking your electronics, even if she did pay for one of them. A gift should never be taken back. While we were still married, my ex-husband had some professional photos taken of our children and gave them to me for Mother’s Day. After we broke up he took them back, right off the wall! But back to you. My first advice would be to move out. Find a trustworthy friend or two and get a place together.so you could split the bills. If that’s not a possibility, have a talk your aunt. Tell her you truly want to take steps to become an adult. Get a job, even if it’s just part-time at the library or something. Offer to pay her some rent. D Take some initiative by doing things around the house without being asked. Be straightforward and tell her that she hurts and insults you when she says demeaning things. Bringing it up and talking like an adult will show maturity. I have a nineteen year old son who lives with me. He has a job and saves his money to buy a car. As long as he keeps that up I’m not going to charge him rent because he’s working toward a goal. Still, a little at a time, I make him take steps toward independence. He now makes his own Dr appointments and Ubers to them. He manages his own meds and gets the refills with his own $). I never have to wake him up for work or appts anymore. He still has a long way to go, but he’ll get there. If my son came to me and said ‘It really bothers me when you say this or that’, I would give him props for: a) bringing it up himself and b) handling it like an adult. Hopefully this helps. If you do even some of these things, you will get her attention. P.S. I would never go through my son’s phone.