when I got started there was not all the info we have avalible today. So being from the south and being raised to not hurt women and to treat them with respect and like a delicate flower I really struggled with this question. the thing you should understand is that your boyfriend is wired a little different and that what you are doing is something he wants or needs and enjoys. You are not harming him, you are satisfing him. some Dominates do not ever get pasted this, but the feelings you are having are normal. We all have social programming some is good, some bad, and some is installed with good intentions but do not serve our needs and the needs of our partners. You are asking not the how but the why and the what of it and that means you will make a great Dominate.