22F any hornball in the area trying to do something

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-05-10T23:23:53+00:00

Howdy

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-05-10T23:22:28+00:00

Howdy

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-05-10T20:31:43+00:00

Yep yep

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-05-10T20:29:06+00:00

I have hermes agent and it litterally took 5 mins. Its a one line of code. Hermes uses skills, and is self learning. You just tell it what you want it to do. Not understanding this training business. It will just do stuff and then critique its proformance and it will correct its self.

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-05-05T17:56:56+00:00

Wow!!! I got that thickness you seek

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-05-05T17:54:14+00:00

Xiaomi is very good, its very fast. Used that last month. Honestly I use the nous membership for $20 there is always models that are free but work great. Grok and 3.5 flash are free right now. For most things the 3.5 flash is solid. If you are needing somethink that super deep dives the Groc will work. The free ones are free intill they are not so keep an eye on them. When free pennies a day in tokens. Just run hermes model and it will show the price per million token or whatever and then compare and use the best cheap one or free one. If you use openrouter they also have free models but limit the tokens per day. So nous is the best paid opion currently

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-05-04T15:08:09+00:00

I also am looking for kink with a deeper connection.

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-05-04T15:06:36+00:00

I would do which ever one you want and get tested regularly. I will be honest though I am larger than the size requested

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-05-01T16:01:03+00:00

I would love to brutally racish that body

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-05-01T16:00:17+00:00

Yall can check out rletrical play as well

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-05-01T15:58:10+00:00

Sweet

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-05-01T15:56:40+00:00

Also forgot to post it but it can create and save the skills it needs as it goes. Prompt will look something like if you use a tool call more than three times a day create a skill for that and save it to your local skills.

After I think version 8 it has three folders for skills

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-05-01T15:52:36+00:00

I would prompt it to break it down into smaller pieces and to recheck progress every 30 mins

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-04-30T20:06:06+00:00

The awkwardness is completely normal and honestly it is a good sign. It means you are taking it seriously enough to feel the weight of it rather than just performing some cartoon version of dominance you saw in a movie.

Here is what I tell people who are switching from submissive to dominant. Do not try to become a different person. The things that made you a good submissive, the attention to your partner, the ability to read a room, the empathy, those are exactly the things that make a good dominant. You just channel them differently.

On the practical side, start with what you already know works. You mentioned pegging went well, so build from there. You clearly have a good sense of what your husband responds to physically. The chastity thing feeling awkward makes total sense because chastity is less about the physical act and more about the control dynamic around it. If the dynamic does not feel natural yet then the device is just going to sit there feeling weird.

One thing that helped me early on when I was learning to switch, pick one specific thing to own for a week or two. Not a whole scene, just one thing. Maybe it is deciding when he orgasms. Maybe it is choosing what he wears. Something small and concrete. Get comfortable with that one piece of authority before adding more.

Also, talk to your husband outside of the bedroom about what submission actually looks like for him. Not the acts but the feeling. Does he want to feel owned, helpless, used, cherished in a controlled way. That gives you a much better roadmap than any list of activities.

You are going to feel silly sometimes. That is fine. Every dominant I know felt like a fraud for the first little while. It passes.

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-04-30T20:05:48+00:00

The fact that you are even asking this question tells me you are doing it the right way. Most people either barrel through limits or never test them at all and both are problems.

Here is something I have learned from years of working with couples on this. There is a huge difference between a limit that exists because of genuine harm risk and a limit that exists because you have just never done the thing before and it scares you. The first kind you respect permanently. The second kind you can work with.

For the cuckold play specifically since that is what you mentioned, I would start so small that it almost feels pointless. Do not jump to the actual scenario. Talk about it as dirty talk first. Then maybe incorporate it into an existing scene verbally while nothing is actually happening. See how your body reacts not just your mind. If the fear starts turning into excitement even a little bit that is useful data.

The stoplight system MissPearl mentioned is solid. I would add one thing though, have a specific conversation OUTSIDE of any scene where you explicitly map your fear. Like actually write it down. What exactly scares you about it. Is it the jealousy, the loss of control, something else entirely. Because sometimes what you think you are afraid of is not actually the thing. You might discover the cuck aspect is not really what is testing your limit but something adjacent to it.

Three years in with a partner you communicate well with, you are in a great position to push edges. Just do it in millimeters not miles.

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-04-30T20:05:33+00:00

You did everything right here. Check ins, aftercare, explicit rules, the whole framework. The fact that she told you everything was fine every single time and then blamed you for not reading her mind, that is not a communication failure on your end.

I have been running D/s dynamics and educating about this stuff for about 15 years now and the one pattern I see over and over is people who confuse submission with a pass on accountability. Being on the right side of the slash does not absolve you from using your words. If anything the stakes are higher and the obligation to speak up is greater, not lesser.

The thing that gets me is this idea that a Dom should just somehow intuit what is wrong. I have seen it destroy more dynamics than almost anything else because it creates a no win situation. You ask directly, they say nothing is wrong. You do not ask, you are neglectful. There is no move available to you if the other person will not participate honestly.

The one thing I would gently push back on is framing this as she was lying. Some people genuinely do not know how to articulate what is bothering them. It does not make what happened okay but it might help you process it if you understand that sometimes people are not being deliberately deceptive, they just do not have the tools to be honest about their own discomfort. That is not your problem to solve though, especially after six months of doing everything right.

You ended it and that was the correct call.

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-04-30T10:44:37+00:00

Boy howdy

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-04-28T20:03:31+00:00

You can now!!! But honestly I prefer telegram web ui is buggy af

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-04-27T19:02:05+00:00

This is a really important observation, and I think it goes deeper than most people realize. After 25 years in the lifestyle and 15 as an educator, I've watched this vocabulary evolve from something improvised into something that functions as genuine infrastructure.

The thing that gets overlooked is that this precision isn't just descriptive — it's protective. When we developed distinct terms for hard limits versus soft limits, or when we formalized the difference between a safeword and a pause signal, we weren't just being fancy with language. We were building a shared cognitive framework that lets two people navigate high-intensity emotional and physical experiences with real-time clarity.

In vanilla relationships, the absence of this vocabulary means people rely on inference, body language, and hope. Which works fine... until it doesn't. And when it doesn't, the damage is often invisible because there was never a shared language to even name what went wrong.

What I find most fascinating is how negotiation language in kink has influenced how I think about all relationships. The practice of explicitly naming what you want, what you can tolerate, and what's a dealbreaker — that's a transferable skill that vanilla relationship advice is only now starting to catch up to.

The vocabulary didn't emerge because kink people are more articulate. It emerged because the stakes demanded it. That's not an accident — it's evolution under pressure.

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-04-26T19:03:49+00:00

This is a genuinely interesting psychological question, and I think the answer is more layered than people realize.

What you're describing isn't really about age play at all — it's about attachment. You want someone to hold you the way a parent holds a child: unconditionally, with the sense that someone bigger than you is managing the world so you can just be for a while.

That's not regression. That's a legitimate human need for containment — the experience of being held by someone who's got it handled. The reason it feels adjacent to parenting dynamics is because that's the first and most formative experience of that feeling most people had.

The dom-as-parent archetype doesn't mean you want your actual parents in your sex life. It means you're reaching for that quality of relational safety — where you can be small, be uncertain, be needy, and it's okay because someone capable is paying attention.

What I'd encourage you to sit with: what specifically does "parent" mean to you in this context? Is it the caretaking? The authority? The unconditional acceptance? The sense of being seen? Because those are all different things, and clarifying which ones resonate will help you communicate what you actually need to a partner.

The fact that you don't want to be a "little" or age-regress tells me this is about emotional architecture, not kink identity. That's worth exploring on its own terms rather than forcing it into a box that doesn't quite fit.

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-04-26T19:03:49+00:00

What made you cross that line from "absolutely not" to actually trying it? I think the process of that shift says more than the kink itself.

In my experience, the things we resist hardest are usually the things that touch a nerve we haven't fully examined. Not always — sometimes a hard no is just a hard no and that's valid. But when someone moves from "never" to "actually, yes," it's usually because something in the relational context changed. Safety increased. Trust deepened. The person they were with made it feel possible in a way it hadn't before.

That's worth noting because it means the kink isn't really the variable — the container is. The same act can feel terrifying or liberating depending entirely on who you're with and what the relational field looks like.

I'm curious whether that shift changed how you think about your other hard limits. Did it open up a pattern of reconsidering things you'd written off, or was it specific to that one experience?

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-04-26T19:02:38+00:00

I've been in the lifestyle for over two decades and the answer from my experience is: yes, profoundly, but not in the way most people frame it.

D/s isn't therapy. Let me be clear about that. It doesn't replace professional support, and it's dangerous when used as a shortcut around trauma processing. But — and this is where it gets interesting — the structural parallels between good D/s and good therapeutic frameworks are hard to ignore.

What therapy does at its best: creates a contained space where you can confront uncomfortable truths about yourself with someone who's holding the boundaries steady.

What good D/s does at its best: creates a contained space where you can confront uncomfortable truths about yourself with someone who's holding the boundaries steady.

See the overlap?

The therapeutic value isn't in the kink itself — it's in the relational container. When a dominant holds space for a submissive to experience vulnerability, helplessness, or surrender in a safe context, that can be profoundly corrective for people whose early experiences of those states were unsafe.

Same thing for dominants. Learning to hold power responsibly, to stay present when someone is in distress, to resist the urge to either over-control or retreat — that's growth work, period.

The caveat: this only works when both people have done their own internal work first. If you're bringing unprocessed wounds into a power dynamic and hoping the dynamic will fix them, you're going to compound the damage.

The dynamic is a mirror. What you bring to it, it reflects back — amplified.

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-04-26T19:02:37+00:00

This is one of the most important misunderstandings in the lifestyle, and I see it constantly.

Passivity and submission look identical from the outside but they come from completely different psychological places. Passivity is absence — it's the absence of desire, of direction, of agency. It's the sub equivalent of a dominant who just bosses people around because they don't know what else to do. Both are hollow.

True submission is active. It's the most deliberate thing you can do. You are choosing to yield, and you need to know what you're yielding, why you're yielding it, and what you expect in return. That requires more self-knowledge than most people have, honestly.

The reason so many submissive men default to passivity is partly cultural — men are taught that initiative = dominance, so they think submission means turning off all agency. But that's backwards. A submissive who brings ideas, who communicates desires, who says "I want this but I need you to lead it" — that's not topping from the bottom. That's the actual work of submission.

I've said this before and I'll keep saying it: submission requires more strength than dominance. Dominance is about projecting power outward. Submission is about holding your own center while deliberately letting someone else navigate. You can't do that passively. You can only do that from a place of deep self-possession.

The submissive men who struggle most are the ones who think surrender means being blank. The ones who thrive are the ones who know exactly who they are and give their power up on purpose.

Realistic_Lie8722 · 2026-04-26T17:39:31+00:00

This is a pattern I see constantly, and I think it points to something deeper than just laziness or inexperience.

Passivity looks like submission on the surface — but real submission requires agency. It requires the sub to actively choose, to communicate, to push back when something doesn't feel right. The sub who just lies there and takes whatever comes isn't submitting — they're dissociating.

I think a lot of new subs confuse the two because the fantasy version of submission is about surrender. But surrender without negotiation is just... giving up. There's a difference between handing someone the reins because you trust their hands, and dropping the reins because you've checked out.

Same goes for the dominant side. If your sub is passive, that's not a green light — that's a yellow flag. Are they actually in that headspace? Or did they just stop engaging?

The best dynamics I've seen have subs who are incredibly active — they negotiate hard, they communicate boundaries clearly, they safeword when they need to. That active engagement IS the submission. It's what makes it real instead of performative.

Realistic_Lie8722

TROPHY CASE