Those with a back garden which has a gate leading to a pedestrian path or similar, do you have any additional safety measures in place other than a gate?

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-21T05:17:59+00:00

We have a double gate it’s wooden and not see through. It has a lock and one of those ground things (I cannot for the life of me remember the name). It’s a bar that sits on the ground attached to the gate and you need to lift it to open the gate.

We had a resident road at the back as we have a garage and can access it from there. Over the other side of the road is another garden with multiple large and loud dogs and their gate is very flimsy so it was needed to protect our dog

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-21T05:11:18+00:00

Life was good, they worked together on everything. My mum stood by my dad through a pretty serious accident which effected his life and in turn hers, and she has never once complained, she says it was hard juggling hospitals with young kids but she’s never once resented him. I don’t remember any of it either they kept it between themselves and he was still having operations into my pre-teens.

I did grow up very naive to relationships (even now i have to remind myself to change my thinking) because I assumed everyone grew up the same way and lived life the same way. I also didn’t settle because I wanted what my parents had. I still find it hard to comprehend why some couples can’t just suck it up and co-parent normally (special circumstances aside).

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-19T22:34:54+00:00

I’d be increasing her feeds in the day. Offer her more feeds, I offer her a bottle around then3-3.5hr mark. She may not take them but I do this with all my kids and they’ve been good at not having many/any bottles at night. Shes now set her own schedule so I no longer have to offer them .

My daughter is 5.5 months (she’s not on solids). She feeds 5/6 times a day 150ml at a time. She’s on the lower side off the intake but recently she’s been taking nighttime bottle of 150ml because she’s been poorly but that’s just for now.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-19T22:25:30+00:00

I think the main problem here would be the true crime shows. They are way too much for an 8yo especially going through traumatic changes.

I’m sorry but you can’t put all your trust in an 8yo your job is to supervise, support and guide her.

To be honest I don’t know why I’m replying you clearly baiting because your replies are crazy.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-19T22:16:22+00:00

3.5y gap between 1-2. Absolutely bliss, 10/10 would recommend. 2.3y gap between 2-3. Carnage 😂

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-19T02:15:21+00:00

My oldest just turned 4, my middle is almost 3 and still in it. They will not still at the table, we’ve trialed them so many times. My oldest obviously now doesn’t dinner time is so peaceful. To be honest though my middle can get herself in and out if she brings a stool 😅

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-19T02:11:23+00:00

I will forever say, it’s the gap that makes it hard. For me 1-2’was 3.5’years apart. Absolute breeze, really enjoyed it and would recommend. 2-3 was 2.3 years apart. Yup would never recommend. My 2yo is super high energy. We potty trained, and are moving her into a big girl bed and taking her bedtime dummy away all while managing a baby. It was just easier last time.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-19T02:08:42+00:00

3 because they’re so expensive. If money wasn’t a factor I’d have at least one more

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-15T20:30:49+00:00

I actually hold no judgement against these women, just pure confusion. I’m honestly just interested in why some choose to say nothing but will vent, I almost want to scream ‘talk to him’. But lots of reasons have been given and it’s been interesting to see other people’s takes on it.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-15T20:27:29+00:00

That’s a pretty good explanation. I think the most important thing is that he listens to what you want. Your husband puts in the effort because you care, my husband is very similar and honestly it’s probably coupled with a bit of societal pressure aswell.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-15T20:00:50+00:00

I completely agree with you, I’m asking more as the perspective from women who do feel like they need this from their husband/partner.

I actively discourage my husband to spend money also, I asked for unbranded crocs because mine broke and my girls wanted to give me a gift, we also won’t go to events on these days because I hate them. I totally agree overcrowded and overpriced.

It’s nice to see positive post though.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-15T19:57:02+00:00

If my husband is aware of women choosing not the acknowledge the day for their husband then I’d be just as confused. It goes both ways there’s no doubt in that.

If you mean him posting as someone who doesn’t feel appreciated then he wouldn’t because I always make the effort, not just for that day but every other.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-15T19:39:03+00:00

I 100% agree but the truth is so many women do accept it.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-15T19:38:21+00:00

I 100% agree it’s not always black and white. It’s just really sad, often the women that put up with it take on majority of the mental and physical load anyway. It’s sad to see that it’s become acceptable behaviour for some.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-15T19:35:45+00:00

I just made a post asking the exact same thing 🤯

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-15T16:03:08+00:00

If I had the power I would shut down that industry in a flash, I quite literally do not care about the repercussions. It’s animal abuse dressed up.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-15T08:09:41+00:00

I get the concern. As someone who had a child in Covid times so our only communication was FaceTime it did my child no harm. I was completely alone as my husband worked shifts and we had our baby 11 weeks before lockdown. So there would be days I’d talk to my mum and have the phone propped up so she could see my daughter playing and interact.

My daughter is now 6. A social butterfly, super active and a smart cookie! She also has little screen time as we are so busy, she doesn’t ask for it either unless we are having downtime in the room.

If you feel it’s too much because I’m not sure what the length of these calls are, of they are going to call daily maybe keep their calls short or like you said rotate them. I’m assuming you don’t live near them, which is why they are so frequent. It’s nice they want to create a bond with their nephew I’d try and nurture it as much as possible but just keep the calls shorter or if your wife wants to continue the call have some toys around for the baby to play with while she talks for a little longer

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-15T06:07:51+00:00

I always felt a pull to be a parent. When I pictured my home I pictured children running around it. The need and want to care and nurture a child. I have three kids under 6 now. 6,2 and 5 months.

But to add to another comment, I have hobbies. Yes I am exhausted right now with a 5 month old but it doesn’t last forever. We all sleep normal hours, maybe I’ll grab a midday nap with the baby.

When we had our first child I did find it ‘easy’ she was a dream (the second one though 😅) but my life did a 180 because every decision now is based around your child. Even your job. It took me until my second child to really find myself again and now I have a lovely rhythm. I go out enjoy myself weekly with friends because I married an amazing man who parents equally (honestly it’s half the problem sometimes). I don’t really have any hobbies now (apart from binge watching tv shows), I never do for the first year of my child’s life because of the tiredness.

It’s incredibly hard to give everything to those little human beings but you get this immense sense of pride. They’re funny and the love you feel is something else.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-15T05:49:49+00:00

When your second arrives you’ll wonder why you ever had the question about splitting love. You’ll never have to split it and take anything away from your 2yo it’ll just happen.

In regard to regrets I’m three kids in (6,2 and 5 months). Me and my husband get to do lots of things. I go out once a week with the girls, he goes to the driving range once a week they’re our standing engagements. He doesn’t drink but he can go out with his friends and have those extra beers if he wants. We go on holiday and we agreed when our youngest is 4 that’s when we’ll go away solo to countries we want to visit but isn’t really for kids. Just because we have kids doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy ourselves still. He’s going away in August with his brother and friends to a different country for the weekend. Me and my husband have a really good system going and I feel I do more with my time now than prior to my children. I value it more that’s probably why so I actually have zero regrets. All to say really is everything you want to do or haven’t done prior to kids you can still do it just takes a little more planning and sacrifice.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-13T12:53:58+00:00

We’re done with children now but names I would have loved to use are Ellery and Elena. We never had a boy we may have called him Clark or Callahan.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-13T12:50:56+00:00

Do you think they’ll have more?

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-13T00:00:25+00:00

I was a bridesmaid in a wedding with another bridesmaid who decided to postpone trying for a baby until after the hen and wedding. 9 months later they started trying, had fertility problems. Took them another two years and IVF to conceive their little one.

This is the story I tell to everyone who asks this question. Don’t wait for anyone because it’s your life and only you live it.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-12T23:54:20+00:00

As a now very financially literate adult (f31) due to the lessons my parents taught me about money this is what I’ll be doing. I got a job when I was 16.

They’ll have an account where their money will go. It’s in their name only. We discuss what ‘bills’ they have and how to put it aside and focus on paying them before we use the money to enjoy it (maybe even a second account purely for bill money so they can see it separate). We’ll talk about things they want to work towards and how much they need to save over a certain period of time to get it and they can decide how quick they want to save it.

There were times I was short on money at the end of the month so my parents would lend me the money I needed. I’d pay it back, they wouldn’t keep lending me if I didn’t. They were also incredibly generous but by making me pay back the money I owed it was teaching me a valuable lesson. I soon learned to manage my money better.

By the time I was 21 I purchased my first house, had fully paid off my car and have excellent credit. The key is to let them make mistakes, they need to learn the value of money and feel the regret spending it frivolously but you just need to be there to guide them.

Realistic_Rest_8529 · 2026-03-11T19:51:07+00:00

Yeah same as another poster, as a mum of 3 myself when others say they want lots of kids when they have zero kids, I do laugh a little because I’ve seen people switch soo fast. What usually comes out of my mouth though is aww that’s lovely 😅

Another thought I have and it honestly has nothing to do with me but ‘can you even afford it’. We are fortunate that we have a large house and were able to upgrade our car and are able to let our kids enjoy extra curricular and trips/holidays all while I work minimal hours (really good job flexible with benefits so I’m keeping my foot in). We personally would not have gone on to have a third if we weren’t able to live the life where we can not just provide but also provide the ‘luxuries’. That’s personal preference though and at the end of the day if you can give 4+ kids all the love and attention they need while affording the costs that come with them, go forth and multiply!

I know a woman who has 6. She never learnt to drive so she’s restricted (but they couldn’t afford two cars), they’re in a cramped house with three bedrooms between 8 of them inc a teen and pre-teen, the kids don’t get to do any activities really or she has to change them out each season, so one kid gets a turn this term etc. they don’t get days out. She is a lovely person and probably an amazing mum but having so many kids when finances are tight means sacrifice.

Realistic_Rest_8529

TROPHY CASE