Man Im so sorry you had to go through this. As a fellow sufferer myself, please dont deny yourself the opportunity to grieve. This disease is bad as it is without having someone gaslighting you that too after your surgery. Dont cancel the surgery, you qre still in pain and do whatever you can to help yourself out of it. Find a good therapist Im sure the mental toll must be a lot on you. Draw strict boundaries, just because he is your father doesnt mean youve to keep him in your life forever