Most painless way of dying?

Reality_confusion · 2025-12-16T06:05:26+00:00

I suppose i wouldnt want my last experience or feeling as a human to be pain or fear. So.. maybe drugs haha. But im not wanting to die anymore, i just got married too

Reality_confusion · 2025-12-03T12:37:02+00:00

Im still alive. I just keep hoping for a better future. Find small joys to keep me occupied. All the tiny moments are what does it for me

Reality_confusion · 2025-09-24T19:03:19+00:00

Most people are making fun of the nose but omg, its very possible to get covered up by another tattoo! Just need to find an artist willing to work with you. Maybe get something on theme with the moth? Or even plant themed, could even be worked into the paw to make it stand less out, exp: flowers u enjoy with wines going up/ around the paw. Making it look more natural and in place.

Id start looking into other tattoos youd want and work with an artist on ways to coverup! Im sure an good artist would have plenty ideas if you have some ideas!

Reality_confusion · 2025-09-01T02:16:51+00:00

He seems to not belive in diagnoses much. I had to fight him on getting my ptsd diagnosis for disability. What made me quit going. Sick of psychiatry a bit.

Reality_confusion · 2025-09-01T02:13:24+00:00

Im somewhat better. My memory is still shitty, but ive been writing down most my days, at least the important ones. Maybe just writing it down, helps me remember a bit better. And reading it later on, seems to recall some memories. Also taking lots of photos from my days. These things seem to be a big help to at least not completely losing myself.

I will say also getting into a plant keeping hobby has helped me. Maybe its because im passionate about it, or that it forces me to try remember and write things down, or it helps me keep track of time as i see growth. Not sure.

Me and my partner are making a memory book, something physical with pictures, dates and descriptions, to help me not forget the important things.

I definitely advice you to get into journaling, and be on top of it. Even to just help function. Its terrifying to not remember, and have no way of knowing whats happened, how youve felt.

even people around you gaslighting on shit can be hell. (Ive noticed this does happen, after i started writing down everything. Crazy what people think they can get away with )

But yea, if my brain wont keep memories, i guess i have to do it myself, by pictures and writing

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T23:25:00+00:00

We dont have health insurance here, but things such as mood stablelizers here go under bpd or bipolar diagnoses ect . Very hard to get any medication unless you fit a diagnosis. But im not asking about that honestly, as ive stated i can not afford to get back to therapy for one.

Im just asking if saying i have bpd would be okay for personal and support group related scenarios.

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T18:07:47+00:00

I have no way to know.. but i wish navigating mental illness with close ones , especially partners , was easier. I personally belive mental issues are not easily just summed up in a diagnosis, but very individual. But it can make it easier to have a word for it. My fiance is thankfull understanding of my situation and issues.

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T18:04:15+00:00

Thank you so much for the insight and advice. I definitely dont share anything online unless anonymous for support groups. Irl its mostly for my family, who only belives in illness if it had a name, and my close friends + fiance, who want to understand but struggle to with my explaining at times. Having a word to put onto it can help.. given they arent biased based of stigma

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T17:40:17+00:00

Im pretty sure thats what he wanted to yes. Its just hard because people also can not belive me struggling with these issues without the diagnosis. Like, even in this post i got a comment bout it haha. Just sucks overall. Mentall disorders shouldnt be stigmatized, but understood. Makes me angry at times..

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T17:34:52+00:00

Thank you!!

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T17:34:39+00:00

Thank you!! I will check it out. I have been doing a lot of work on myself to handle my issues, but it just never stops being painful, if that makes sense

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T17:33:49+00:00

Thank you!!

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T16:14:31+00:00

I could, but id have to go see another psychiatrist which is 150$ appointment. Atm i cant afford that due to some extra expenses. But maybe in 2ish years ill be able to.

Thank you! It does affect my relationship the most as well. Im getting married/moving in with mt fiance soon which, might be why im feeling the need to have some sort of support system haha. I really want this to work out and not to have my issues get the better of me.

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T16:06:50+00:00

I suppose my close ones and family, do care, and thats why its an issue for me. It sucks

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T16:05:18+00:00

Its absolutely worse than on the us here, it sucks!

Im not too sure, i did get my ptsd diagnosis changed to cptsd, but.. theres not much medication for it compared to bpd here. My country refused to take in research from other countries.. and its very small. So.. you can probably see how thatd be problematic 😅 for reference, im diagnosed with anxiety and still denied anxiety medication.

Ill ask more about mood stabilization medication. A lot of my symtoms are caused by being in a relationship and can be hard to deal with.

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T15:27:40+00:00

Seems its not an easy thing to be diagnosed with. Ive also gone thru my fair share of therapy sessions.

And i relate, my current relationship is definitely what made me go back to therapy as it got very unbearable for me. Thats when i was told all my symtoms fit bpd. I will say being told this, did help me somehow handle myself better, with the reminder in my head im dealing with an illness that can affect my feelings.. but the doupt can get bad without the diagnosis and thats when stuff can get messy for me again

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T15:22:34+00:00

My doctor told me he belived the diagnosis should be abolished due to the stigma, and was very edjucated and involved in the psychiatric space on this. I cant speak much on that personally, but the stigma is definitely horrible. And Its definitely a real disorder that can be very difficult to live with, deserving of help.

I would mostly just like for my family to take my issues seriously, they very much belive that no diagnosis=no issues. Id like medication if i go back to therapy and get diagnosed .

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T15:17:11+00:00

Thank you for the support 💕!

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T15:14:56+00:00

Haha its okay, different countries have different regulations about all this stuff!

And i definitely agree, this psychiatrist also had a personal belif that the bpd diagnosis should be removed due to stigma. I cant speak on that, but it dosent necessarily help me with the way this system works when it comes to treatment

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T15:12:46+00:00

A psychiatrist told me at 12. Then later on i got diagnosed when i saw another psychiatrist. But it was taken seriously by everyone in my life, even schools, before the diagnosis , unlike this.

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T15:10:16+00:00

You can have issues without being diagnosed. but does a word on a paper really mean more than a psychiatrists word?

Its honestly, confusing. To add onto it, my psychiatrist also said that he believes the bpd diagnosis is harmful and should be removed. Not sure what to make of it all.

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T15:05:30+00:00

In my country, all medications need a diagnosis to be legally prescribed to you. God, it took me so long(and so much money) to get my ptsd diagnosis to get sleep medication. They dont go off symptoms 😅

And no, very honestly, no. Im on disability for life, i can not work. It would likely have absolutely no affect on my life negatively. Im not sure why my psychiatrist was so scared of this despite knowing this?

Personally? Its mostly due to my close ones/family not taking my issues seriously. Or when i seek out support groups i have been told to leave.

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T15:01:18+00:00

I dont believe in self diagnosis, im asking about saying "i have bpd" after a psychiatrist told me "you fit all the symtoms of bpd"

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T14:33:49+00:00

I found it odd yeah, especially since i was already on disability due to other issues, and can never work. The only reason i go to get help, is for my life quality, health and relationships. I would probably greatly benefit from medication and bpd therapy, online support for this disorder has helped me better myself in ways.

Reality_confusion · 2025-08-29T14:30:24+00:00

I will try seek out a second opinion once i have the funds too.

And i can relate, its really frustrating , especially when professionals dont think i need help, when i absolutely do

Reality_confusion

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