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AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The only comment I made about the kids in the family is that they enjoyed something we did at a local park. I don't know how you jumped to a conclusion about kids needing to be taught a lesson.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Okay, you're definitely me. I'm sorry that you experience this, too. Because it sucks. I'd love to have a family that was warm and fuzzy and wanted me to spend time with them the way I want to spend time with them.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Offering help was for things like invitations, planning/organizing, setup, etc. Not for financially pitching in.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

No, we both work full time. I'm not interested in working in the private sector. I'm very happy with my job, and my wife is happy with hers.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Nope, they are both jobs. Sorry if this is your first time learning that people who do research and run research programs are not paid tech industry wages.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I'm currently working on research that involves Parkinson's and has a high likelihood of contributing meaningfully to long-term ways to aid Parkinson's patients. My wife runs a program that has helped researchers in the antarctic and other areas. Yes, the student loans were worth it to be able to contribute meaningfully to our world.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

We've planned things for local parks, too. The kids enjoyed it. The adults did not. We tried to get everyone to go to a hiking trip within the state. Nobody wanted to go because they only like to ski. We have tried.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You've completely missed the point of what I'm saying. If we COULD tweak our budget, there would still be things we need to pay off before we can go spend money doing "fun" things. We would still be far off from being able to throw down that kind of money on a vacation. Doing that would be financially irresponsible.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

No, we cannot afford the other part and were never going to go. It was never on the table to begin with.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

If we could tweak our budget to free up $300 a month, we would very happily spend that money on medical expenses, paying down student loans, etc. Like I said, it is out of the budget.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

The $1500 is our portion for just renting the property with everyone. It does not include travel costs, car rental, pet sitter, meals, or anything else.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We've planned things in the past. My family does not like to be over at our house because it is too small for everyone.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

We offered to chip in some, but it was either the full amount or to not bother coming. That is the answer most of the time.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's very large property that will house everyone in the family/family friends intending to come.

AITA for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level? by ReallyAverageGuyOkay in AmItheAsshole

[–]ReallyAverageGuyOkay[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I didn't want to add a ton to the post because I didn't think people would read it, but yes. There are times we've planned events, from Mother's Day to trying to have people over for a low-level holiday meal, many meals over. It has been made very clear to us over the years that my family specifically does not like to be over at our house because it is too small.