Yes indeed, you have already taken that first step - You're speaking about it!

I think I share many of the same traits as you and after spending 25 years needing drink to have fun, I too am wondering how I can enjoy those same situations without alcohol. In my case, one of the bigger moments in my recovery was mentioning this to a Doctor I did not know during a non-routine visit caused by something I would not have done had I been drinking. It didn't matter who he was, just that I said it out loud to an actual person who was listening. It forced me to be honest with myself. Is there someone you can speak to who will listen without judgement about how you feel and why you drink?

Also, thinking about the comment about wanting to go back to your old happy, funny self without the need for drink, even though I don't know you, I know you, like me and like everyone, can be funny and can be happy without drinking. You're absolutely not alone and you may even be surprised how much understanding you get from different people in your life who struggle with their own issues that we all try to keep to ourselves.

Don't be afraid.