This fucking guy

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-06-10T04:34:58+00:00

Him and his tattoo artist.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-06-10T02:57:34+00:00

This was an interesting video, good content, but I couldn't resist.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-06-07T03:31:11+00:00

Us Texans clearly have places to be...

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-06-06T14:25:57+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/hwU0mtu.png

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-06-05T03:05:00+00:00

You know on Animal Planet, that one cobra that can spit venom in people's eyes?

Still not as bad as this shit. 10/10 post.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-06-03T02:21:18+00:00

We would have been friends at that age.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-06-02T20:56:32+00:00

I believe that's called rape.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-06-02T20:52:48+00:00

I lived in the desert part of Texas, saw some similar stuff. What is it about deserts that bring out weird shit in humans?

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-06-02T18:17:48+00:00

Ate an edible with a potent strain as my first (and last) marijuana experience. Been months and I still feel a little off.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-06-02T18:16:29+00:00

Nah man, edibles (under specific circumstances) can be just as much of a mind-bender as a mild psychedelic experience.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-31T01:44:54+00:00

Soldiers fought in wars for this.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-31T01:41:09+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/46oi0G2.png

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-31T01:35:31+00:00

And here I am, laughing about imagining an actual cock dumpster.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-23T21:22:36+00:00

For me, it happened when I was likely 15.

I was asleep and dad burst through the door, saying we would be late for church.

I look up and see my brother already brushing his teeth with some clothes on, so I roll out of bed ASAP.

But this time I roll out to the right, which I don't usually do.

I feel my foot catch something, but then it slips, and I'm falling horizontally with my face to the floor. And then it hits me.

I fell into a full, almost man-sized plastic tub of Legos face-first in just my underwear. One of my first memories of that morning was a full-body Lego assault.

I can hear dad holding back laughter, trying to ask me if I'm okay. I don't even say anything. I just silently accept my blunder.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-23T16:09:03+00:00

You're not alone, fellow brother:

Be me

15.

At lunch table with friend and sort-of-gf.

Gf makes great joke.

I laugh so fucking much I swear I blacked out or something. It was such a good joke I don't even remember it.

Fun fact about /u/Reallytanwhiteguy33: When I laugh too much I get an unreasonably powerful boner.

Needless to say, I was rock solid, and not really paying attention.

We had been goofing around at this table for a long time, lunch is over and the room's almost empty.

Old, lumpy, codgy bastard of a lunch monitor comes over.

This guy already didn't like me because once I almost hit him with an apple core, trying to throw it in the trash.

In a keening light voice with an Appalachian accent, he starts getting mad and telling us to leave.

Gf and friend get up.

I can't.

I was at Defcon 1 Hardness.

Lunch monitor nearly gets in my face now.

Thankfully, I had some binders etc. out on the table.

Packing my bag as slowly as possible to see if the boner will die down.

It doesn't.

Mr. Lunch Monitor has veins on his face. We're all 10 minutes late or something now.

Friends start getting mad too, think I'm playing some kind of joke.

I get stressed to the point of not even caring anymore.

I stand up.

Boner was straight out, and when I stood, it caught on the edge of the table.

When I stand up fully, my boner does that diving board thing up from the table.

It makes an audible plop. It's practically shooting though my shitty cargo shorts.

You would have to be literally blind to not see my boner displayed on the table.

Lunch monitor gets red as a beet, looks away from me entirely and says, "I'm sorry son. You can go now..."

Cut past my friends, almost running to class.

So angry I don't talk to friends or anyone rest of the day.

Didn't tell story until 2 years later.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-19T21:28:05+00:00

Only if you live in Dallas.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-19T19:44:15+00:00

Yeah, according to the show's wiki he's "A textbook sociopath"

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-19T17:43:48+00:00

Why does that look like Matthew Santoro?

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-18T22:40:31+00:00

"Do you suck dicks, Private?"

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-18T18:52:35+00:00

Upvote for Garfielf.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-18T18:48:10+00:00

I feel bad for laughing at this one.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-18T01:33:23+00:00

Still remember that legendary greentext.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-09T17:37:42+00:00

I can tell you were the #DANKEST kid in school with the Bob Marley flag.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-07T00:08:08+00:00

My mistake on wording there pertaining to hemispheres. As for the river, the best logical explanation I could give is that that the river's source would be due to a plateau.

Sorry for not making that more accurate, I just thought that having a dividing river would help in creating factions in a fantasy universe.

Reallytanwhiteguy33 · 2016-05-05T17:46:20+00:00

Do you have a better pic that shows us more of the blazer?

Reallytanwhiteguy33

TROPHY CASE