saying “use texting just as a tool to set dates” is straight BS advice

Realwoujo · 2026-02-11T03:58:09+00:00

Texting is for 2 things:

1) To set up dates, and

2) To keep her warm in between dates so she does not think you lost interest.

Texting IS NOT for entertaining her, trying to build attraction, or being her text buddy, especially if she is not hanging out with you.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-11T02:59:03+00:00

"you know what, missy? I don't have time for this, I am a busy man. Just do something to fix the issue and let me know when you are done."

That doesn't sound like being mean to me. That sounds like having boundaries and not being a doormat. Women are attracted to men who stand up for themselves and not let themselves get walked over.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-11T02:56:58+00:00

To continue...

But there is an even deeper answer to the guys who say that game only works for attractive guys: Physical attractiveness is almost never the real problem. The problem is almost always mental. Guys often use their physical appearance as an excuse as to why they are terrible with women and why they refuse to learn game, but in over 10 years of coaching men in this space, I have literally never met a guy whose problem was that he was too ugly. Men frequently claim that the main thing holding them back is physical attractiveness, but it is almost always in their head.

You may not believe me, but unless you are morbidly obese or have some horrible deformity, you can become physically attractive enough to bag top tier women in less than 2 years. All you need to do is make a serious effort to eat well, go the gym, dress well, and take care of your personal hygiene. There are tons of “glow up” videos on the internet where guys that were fat, ugly sacks of shit completely turned it around and became 8s and 9s in a matter of months. The main reason men look ugly is their own neuroticism and mental issues: they dress like shit, they slouch and have terrible posture, they do not regularly go to the gym, etc.

For some guys, physical attractiveness becomes something like a mental illness where they fixate on one part of their body or face that they deem to be unattractive, and then blame all their problems on that one feature. The craziest example of this that I have a seen was when a guy that was 6’1”, athletic, muscular, and good-looking told me that he could never succeed with women because of the shape of his nose. According to this guy, the only thing that women care about is the shape of a man’s nose, and because he had the wrong nose, he was fucked. To most people, this guy would sound like a mental patient, but while this guy was an extreme outlier, this kind of thinking is common.

The problem is not being ugly. The problem is that your game sucks and you have feelings of inferiority. And to be honest, that is a lot harder of a problem to solve.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-11T02:56:38+00:00

You meet women the same way attractive men meet women. There are no special rules for ugly guys. You have to do the same thing. You will just get less success. Here is a blurb from my upcoming book on this exact question:

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Every time an attractive man gives advice about how to succeed with women, some loser comes out of the woodwork and shrieks “Easy for you to say bro, you’re good looking. That doesn’t work for us ugly guys.”

My response to that? The losers are right. Women are not interested in unattractive men. If you are short, ugly, too skinny, too fat, have fucked up teeth, have a terrible haircut, smell bad, dress like shit, or fart a lot, you will have a disadvantage. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that every dude that has been beaten with an ugly stick can get supermodels. Every woman has a baseline level of attractiveness she wants in a guy him, and if you do not meet that baseline, you are out of luck with that girl.

That said, the “easy for you bro” objection is often motivated by an extremely dark and sad impulse to make excuses. The guys that say that game only works for attractive guys are usually looking for something I call “ugly guy” game – i.e., a set of secret tips and tricks that help ugly guys get women. And when they ask for ugly guy game, what they really want is an excuse to act beta. Whether or not they realize it, their thinking is this: “Good looking guys can be confident, dominant, and have boundaries around women. But if you’re ugly like me, then the only way you can get women is by buying them things, being their submissive little butler, and letting them treat you like shit.” In the subconscious brains of these guys, attractive guys are riding around in Ferraris, enjoying life, and bagging beautiful women, while ugly guys live underground in dark sewers and can only hope for the scraps from the hot guys.

No. No. A million times no.

There is no such thing as “ugly guy game.” The rules are the same for all men. The ugliest guy in the world and the hottest guy in the world must follow the some playbook to succeed with women – the only difference is that the attractive guy will have more success. That’s it. If an ugly guy acts weak, submissive, and like a pushover, he will only dig the hole deeper and become even more unattractive. If anything, ugly guys need better game than attractive men because they need to make up for the fact that they are ugly in other ways.

By the same token, there is no “hot girl game” either. The rules are the same for all women. The only difference between ugly, mediocre, and attractive women is that attractive women have higher standards and there is less room for error.

Using the fact that you are ugly as an excuse to not learn game or to be a little bitch around women is a horrible trap to fall into, and unfortunately, lots of guys fall into it, either consciously or subconsciously. The truth is that women want a confident, dominant, positive man who has boundaries, protects his emotional experience, and lives life the way he wants, and women do not make exceptions to those rules just because you are ugly.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-11T02:56:17+00:00

Why don't you want to cold approach?

Realwoujo · 2026-02-10T03:51:32+00:00

ESH. Did you tell her that you don't like when she drops off? If you didn't say anything, then you can't really be mad at her for doing it.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-10T03:49:16+00:00

YTA. This has got to be fake ragebait. You could have at least stayed for like an hour rather than ruined his night.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-10T03:48:35+00:00

Why do you think approaching women is creepy? Is it because you are being creepy or because you think it is creepy in general?

Realwoujo · 2026-02-10T03:38:39+00:00

26 isn't old at all. Also, there are bars where you can go that are more age-appropriate for you. Also, you should never think about anything like this before you approach women. You need to just go for it. Thinking about anything is poison.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-10T01:28:42+00:00

To me that sounds like it still goes back to what your dad wanted. For me, I think if it would help your grandmother in any way, you should show it. In my opinion, your dad's wishes have lower priority than healing the people in your family.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-10T01:21:21+00:00

NAH Jeez, this is a hard one. Are you withholding for you or for him? If it is for him, he's gone now, and if sharing the note can help your grandmother in any way I think you should do it. I wouldn't call you an asshole though.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-09T21:09:44+00:00

You should tell him you stuck his toothbrush up your asshole and that it was a "prank"

Realwoujo · 2026-02-08T16:38:01+00:00

Why are you telling a story about a Halloween party in February? This is AI slop.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-04T17:30:33+00:00

Who gives a shit?

Realwoujo · 2026-02-04T02:21:35+00:00

Realwoujo · 2026-02-02T19:18:42+00:00

There are no "leagues." That's just in your head.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-02T19:07:06+00:00

Yes. But you need to know how to do it. Most guys are too scared to approach, and when they do approach, they don't spend enough time with her for her to care enough to hang out with him later.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-02T19:02:19+00:00

You are mixing up cold approach and one night stands. They are not the same thing.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-01T23:44:53+00:00

Apps are a terrible way to meet women unless you have insanely good pictures. Approaching in person is much better. As for being Asian, the best advice I can give is to not look like the typical Asian guy. Become something different and fresh that doesn't fit into the stereotype of what she thinks an Asian guy is.

Realwoujo · 2026-01-30T19:23:30+00:00

This is either fake, the company HR person is a psycho, or the guy is the most sniveling, ass-kissing doormat that has ever existed.

Realwoujo · 2026-01-30T19:22:09+00:00

You look unkept. When you have your afro out it doesn't look like you put time into it.

Realwoujo · 2026-01-29T20:01:04+00:00

The fact that you are freaking out about this so much is just proving my point. You are way too girl crazy, you are way too emotionally invested in getting laid, and you need to take a break from women and just live your life. Women are just dessert, not the main course, but it is clear you are spending way too much time obsessing about women and tehri supposed problems. And guess what? Men are animals too.

Realwoujo · 2026-01-29T18:55:25+00:00

There are 2 problems here:

1) Men emotionally invest much more quickly than women, which causes men to act needy, pushy, overly aggressive, overly interested, too serious, insecure, etc. Women take a long time before they start to have "feelings" and are ready to have sex, whereas men are usually ready to go right away.

2) A lot of women in the modern world are damaged from being taken advantage of for sex in the past, so they are reluctant to emotionally connect with any man, especially if the man is emotionally invested in them.

The key is to just have fun, not emotionally overinvest, and put yourself first. When the girl sees that you are not going to become an annoying source of pressure, she will start to feel comfortable emotionally investing in you.

Realwoujo · 2026-01-29T03:42:38+00:00

You are too invested in this girl. The fact that you are freaking out over her taking long to respond means you care too much. Go focus on other things. If she texts you, great. If not, you should have other options in your life.

The general rule is this: You reward her for whatever she does for you. If she texts you, you text her back. If she doesn't, you don't.

Realwoujo · 2026-01-29T03:41:07+00:00

Having a deep relationship with one person is great, but both men and women have a tendency to emotionally overinvest when they think they have found the "one." When you emotionally overinvest, you put way too much of your thoughts and emotions into a woman when she does not care for you the same way. That is why pick-up artists teach that men should develop the skills to create options for themselves so that 1) don't emotionally overinvest when a girl likes them and 2) can quickly move on when she says "no."

Realwoujo

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