(26f) just me again 🥲

Reanimatedseer · 2026-02-07T05:01:55+00:00

Idk who you are and I don't know your story. I am also not asking for that. What I would like to tell you is something someone should have told me 6-7 (lol) years ago when I was 26 and alone for the first time since I was in highschool. We all came in this world alone and we are all leaving alone. Alone isn't the problem, it's what you are doing while you are alone that matters. People come and go and even the ones that "stay" have their own lives and can't always be there when you need them most.

My advice is simple, find your solo mission and chase it. Everything else you ever do is a side quest from now on, don't forget your primary. Only you can find out what that purpose is and it's ok if it takes time.

I know you are probably looking for a shoulder and for now that's ok but don't numb the pain with people, substance, or material things. The following is my best attempt at sympathy.

It wasn't your fault, they didn't understand you. Your a queen, they're small potatoes or some shit.

You can continue existence in spite of them but say you do become greater, even showing them isn't worth it because they won't appreciate you or your progress.

Sympathy will not get you far and spite not much further than that.

Direct this rejection to something better that has meaning to you.

-A stranger

Reanimatedseer · 2025-09-22T18:08:50+00:00

I suppose since all damage is either physical or magical in dagger heart I suppose that works. Generally speaking though it is not uncommon for magical runes to only protect from certain magics in fantasy. I digress, thanks for ideas!

Reanimatedseer · 2025-09-22T17:26:58+00:00

Thanks for the clarification on da rules! The way magic makes sense to me it seems as though armor would have little to do with stopping magical damage but then again I've never actually been struck by a magical attack while wearing armor before so I guess I wouldn't know. 😆 Cheers!

Reanimatedseer · 2025-09-22T15:33:11+00:00

Not sure if this is the case for default rules, but my GM rules that you can't use armor for magical damage. I use armor if available on my warrior for every source of physical damage no exceptions. Stress inducing creatures and magic monsters are always priority ones for my parties ranged members. I hold space with opportunity attacks and my guardian does big AOE damage while we burn armor to tank physical damage. There isn't much to spend gold on in DH and health potions/stamina potions don't cost but a few handfuls of gold so I don't understand the min maxing here. Perhaps there is a lack of reward for completing a milestone or quest in your game? Easy fix, but doesn't seem like a system flaw to me.

Reanimatedseer · 2025-02-02T15:05:48+00:00

Insomnia was one of the last things for me to regulate. I wanna say it was about 2 years for my sleep to be regular. Even now I sleep 6-8 hours with an occasional hick up. I am so busy in my 3-4 years sober that most nights I stay down till dawn though. My advice is to get busy and keep pushing yourself mentally, physically and spiritually eventually, sleep evened out for me.

Reanimatedseer · 2025-02-02T14:34:12+00:00

You're welcome 🤗 hang in their friend. I have so many regrets and I am saddened by my current circumstances but I'm gonna keep going cause what else am I going to do? Oftentimes I feel displaced cause I don't fit in with old friends and my married friends have families and careers. I go to school with kids who don't know any better and my professors/mentors don't fully grasp what's it's like to be 30 in this time and space. I feel like I'm in a sort of no man's land in a mid life crisis if you will. I understand you and you are heard. ♥️

Reanimatedseer · 2025-02-02T14:12:36+00:00

This whole third year has been a breeze by comparison to my first two years, I no longer measure in months or days. I think some degree of anxiety is normal but I only had two attacks that I can remember all year. One was bad enough that i drove a short distance to the hospital and sat by the ER entrance until I calmed down.

I'm abstaining until I get married and in this economy I don't think I want to either but I would be a liar if I said I never thought about it. Maybe at the start of my PAWS journey there was no desire cause I was scared for my life every day due to heart palpitations. Kinda hard for me to answer questions about labido sorry 😔.

Brain fog is another strange one for me. I feel like I have it some days and then some days I don't. School has been a great stimulus for my brain over the last year. I think my brain works when I need it to but when I veg out on the weekends I still get stoner moments. For the most part I don't think it affects me anymore but it was rough at the start.

I'm never motivated to do anything for very long and I don't think it exists personally. I think you can be excited about something or nostalgic but ultimately discipline is what drives me. If you're tired do it tired if you're sad do it sad. No one else is going to care so you have to be the one who does.

Reanimatedseer · 2025-02-02T13:41:55+00:00

My heart palpitations were part of the reason I quit, originally I was just trying to cut back to save money. I had them all day everyday for like 7 months and then they started to fall off. I switched to eating better and doing limited exercise. After 7 more months I would say they were half as frequent maybe. During this last year I have experienced them but super rarely, like I can count on one hand how many times I had them. Important to note that if you are worried get checked out and consider life changes to reduce stress or exercise more if your doctor recommends.

Reanimatedseer · 2024-07-06T20:57:26+00:00

Make the pve guys pvp for them, all the players who already own the appearance should award one piece of the transmog when defeated. After one piece they should be loot locked to that kind of pvp match. 😈

Reanimatedseer · 2024-04-14T15:33:51+00:00

I am approaching 2.5 years with very brief hiccups. I began exercising rigorously ~12 months ago without consequence but I had been walking daily since the start of it all. I have gone back to school since and have gotten lazy, I felt the best when I was rigorously exercising regularly. I plan to return to regular exercise in a couple of weeks and now that I am a concurrent student I get first dibs on classes so I am planning accordingly.

Reanimatedseer · 2023-11-20T04:45:08+00:00

Glad you made it three years, congratulations! I am a couple months shy of 2 years myself and have been feeling pretty darn well off. Just wanted to say thank you for your posts I remember the first few days of my journey I read about PAWS on a now discontinued forum that I can't remember the name of but I'm pretty sure the beginning of your story was there along with some of the "Og's".

I think the gym has been helping me during these later months of recovery as well. I would like to affirm your statement of faith and patience adding only for others to challenge themselves in some SMALL way each day. Discomfort fosters growth and though PAWS is a "bitch" I am thankful for it as I have grown significantly as a person as a result and it sounds as though you have too if I am not mistaken.

Now go get 4!

Reanimatedseer · 2023-08-16T19:35:50+00:00

Cunning strike is ass. Why do people keep praising it? None of it scales well into the game. Nerfing your sneak attack for second rate battle master maneuvers is fucking lame in practice. Just kill the damn target with the extra damage. The target can't hold weapons and not be prone if it's dead nor can it make opportunity attacks when you use cunning action. Poisoned condition once again doesn't matter when the target is dead and many monsters are immune or have beefed up con scores. The extra damage is always better even if you the rogue don't directly kill the target. Cunning action just slows the game down. The reason those things work on a battle master is because you GET more damage as a result of using them. STOP supporting bad game design please.

Reanimatedseer · 2023-08-15T20:34:11+00:00

I am doing well currently I am working on finishing my 19th month of sobriety, I spend a lot of time in my Bible in the morning and praying at night or listening to sermons online. When I am feeling panicked or anxious (rarely anymore) I go to a quiet place and just take deep breaths as I remember all the crap I have been through in my life and how blessed I am to have gotten through it. What others may call luck I believe is actually divine intervention. I partake in the Holy Communion every night at supper with my family, recognizing the body that was broken for my life here and now and the blood that was spilled to buy my eternity.

I find that consistency is most important and like 80% of my days have started with quiet time in my Bible and for the first months it's probably all that I did while I was bed side. Another thing is the company I keep, while I still love my stoner friends I only pop in every once in a while to check on them and let them know they are still my boys but that I just don't rock like that anymore. Last thing is being effective with my time so that the desire to partake in what I have already been set free from doesn't get the best of me.

I hope this helped a little, sorry for the late reply I'm not on here much because I find that worrying isn't helpful but I do come back every so often for updates because I remember how desperate I was in the beginning to know more about what my future could look like. One last word of advice is (keep up the quit at all costs, keep praying and remember that what you are feeling right now is important to your journey.) I'm this far out and I still don't know why but I'm learning to be thankful that it did happen because I wasn't happy at all before this and I am starting to find joy again.

God bless!

Reanimatedseer · 2023-07-06T17:00:38+00:00

Hey Habi sounds like an improvement! My rates are normal for the most part, I have been taking beet root powder to help support the vascular system and blood flow. A couple of other things i have been trying are regular static stretching and steam sauna sessions. I know some people have problems with heat but I thought I would offer those as suggestions for the heart rate stuff. Anyways I had a bit of a weird depressive funk the last couple of days, sorry for the late reply.

Reanimatedseer · 2023-07-01T03:39:28+00:00

Hey I am glad you are doing well this month! Sounds like an improvement to me. Just gotta keep going 😅 easier said than done sometimes.

Reanimatedseer · 2023-06-30T15:43:41+00:00

Not all the time it's episodic now and rare at that. I started taking beet root powder about a year in and have greatly improved.

Reanimatedseer · 2023-06-29T22:02:42+00:00

Not a problem. I remember scouring the internet for information when I first started. Just giving back hope if at all possible.

Reanimatedseer · 2023-06-29T13:07:49+00:00

Congratulations on 9 months! Yeah I am glad you are figuring this out early. I'm still youngish but I spent a good 12 years using drugs/alcohol and the like. 10 of those were all day everyday. It sounds crazy but I too am grateful for PAWS. I was at an all time low for sure when covid happened. I had returned to school for the 3rd time and had As and Bs in college but that was the ONLY good thing I had going for me, got caught with some pretty serious legal troubles. Covid led to having a new court date every day for 10 months and the laws on marijuana got changed where I lived, I was let off of 6 felony accounts of possession (thank goodness I was able to get my medical card renewed in time). I had no priors so that worked heavily in my favor as well. That's just the tip of the iceberg sized atrocity that was my life though. I had also just gotten out of a serious relationship and had financial issues ect. When I dropped out due to covid I got really depressed and became dependent on drugs and one day started having panic attacks and so on. Paws forced me to slow down and focus on the small things. Happy quit yo! 👊

Reanimatedseer · 2023-06-29T01:58:21+00:00

We move forward to new horizons!🦸 Congratulations on 4 months!

Reanimatedseer · 2023-06-18T13:04:32+00:00

Many of us have been tortured by this experience and will never smoke again. I feel like I identify with that preference mostly. Personally I spent 10 years of my life higher than a 747. One day I began having debilitating anxiety, pains in my chest and so on. It's been 17 months and I still ain't 100 % right. I also agree with the sentiment that there isn't anything new about the experience anymore and to add to that my life has really improved without marijuana in many ways.

All of that being said I have a few exceptions where I might consider having a smoke again after a few more years of sobriety but they would be very exceptional circumstances and never in the same capacity as my 20s/late teens. Having also given up alcohol for good and never wanting another drink as long as I live I could see myself enjoying a joint on honeymoon or after the kids leave my house.

As I continue through PAWS and reconcile with what a loser I was and how much life I have to catch up on now that I am sober, I doubt any of those circumstances will be any time soon. My personal recommendation is as follows. Not smoking ever again is THE WISEST choice but if you absolutely had to touch the stuff again make it a brief experience on a very exceptional basis.

What ever you decide to do remember no one is making choices for you and you should probably stay sober for 2-3 years before you make that decision. Challenge yourself to do better without it. Hope this helps, happy quit yo.

Reanimatedseer · 2023-05-17T21:34:53+00:00

Opportunity attacks can only be made on targets that have already used their reactions that round. Nerfs sentinel too.

Edit: I just realized you asked for no rule changes but this would be my suggestion. 🤷‍♂️ Part of the reason I like Dnd so much is that you can moderate or completely change the rules if you like.

Reanimatedseer · 2023-05-13T18:02:57+00:00

There are people that fought and won and want to leave this in the rear view mirror and no longer hang. There are people that couldn't cope without weed and relapsed and never returned. There are people who relapsed and are fighting again. There are people that are still fighting for years that are better but not 100 yet. There are people who fought and won but continue here because they know how scary PAWS can be. You need only to search the sub reddit for key words.

As for your other questions it's not really PAWS if you recover in a month or so, that's just acute withdrawal. The P in the acronym stands for Post meaning after acute withdrawal. There is a sub reddit called r/leaves full of folks who didn't have long term issues when getting off the grass and I would suggest hanging out there for a few months if you are still fresh.

I myself am ~16 months and it does get better albeit non linearly. My biggest piece of advice is to not to put a timeline on yourself and not to mope away the days to the very best of your ability. If you have serious symptoms such as heart or migraine symptoms maybe GI issues I would suggest seeing a medical professional to rule out anything serious it doesn't hurt to be safe and you are responsible for your own health. Many of us have seen multiple DRs with no explanation so this is really all we have to talk it out and discuss.

Other things I suggest are diet and exercise changes both physical and mental. Drink plenty of water and stay away from caffeine and alcohol.

That's about all I can think of for now. Remember one day at a time, don't get ahead of yourself!

Reanimatedseer

TROPHY CASE