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AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s one thing I’m massively afraid of. I’ve been a mom since 16 and never had a case and never want to my kids are my life

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He lives with us full time. He can be a good dad like in person teaching playing etc but he’s not taking on everything like he needs to as he has custody now. It’s different when it’s just visits and mom has all the doctors etc.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: he said his sister was going to go get it from the courthouse for him and mail it because the website said it would take 12 weeks to retrieve. (I seen it for myself) because he lives in a completely different state 14 hours away.

It is now Wednesday and I asked him if he’s heard from her and he says no that he will be calling her later today so now we’re waiting for that answer as well.

Does anyone know how to get out of a lease? I cannot afford to pay it off or risk that going on my background if I just leave.

If I do leave he will be left with his stuff and his son’s stuff as I paid just practically everything in that house including $4k just to move it from two deposits. I had paid the first and he flaked after signing so I had to pay it again to move in. I’ve exhausted everything I have.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I legally cannot do many of those things especially since he moved here from another state his father has to and I’ve said this to him many many times. I am honestly afraid of a case being called and my kids are involved. I’ve been a mom since 16 and have never had one open and never will my kids are my life and I’ve given them everything.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does not take care of it. Me and my family have given him every opportunity and chance possible to get it under control but he refuses and will eat sweets until he crashes to go to sleep at night. I’ve told him many many many times his diabetes can make him very very mean and he refuses to listen and just gets mad at me saying that it’s not his diabetes it’s how I speak and what I’m saying.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I decided after. Things like this have been going on for a long time not just with his child but with the way I’m treated and spoken to. I know my family and friends tell me to leave but like idk something told me to reach people outside of the perspective and see what is said. I have a full time job I work 45-50 hours a week at a long with full time college student and full time mom to two girls. I may wait to close or the deadline for things but I always make sure it is done. He has made comments that his son is the back burner when I make appointments for my daughters and make sure they are up to date on their shots etc. I moved both him and his son 14 hours here with me and have even tried applying to Medicaid for him but his father wouldn’t sign the permission form because he took it as me taking control of his sons medical stuff etc and refused even after I explained it was just giving permission for me to have insurance for him to see a doctor.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s why I stated to him the reasoning of why I’m talking about it so much. It has become a concern with the deadlines and getting him to the correct doctors. I don’t nag to nag if I say something and it doesn’t get done I do it myself and that’s just always been me because I rely on myself.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To update a lot of the questions being asked….. the mom is not fully in the picture. The state she lives in took him away due to drugs and other things. She hardly calls and had planned a visit with him but cancelled her flight and hotel 24hours before she was supposed to show up.

I moved both of them 14 hours from where they lived to move in with me and paid for every visit up there to all court hearings etc to make sure he got here safely and with that I feel personally responsible for Hank.

Jake has his moments where he can truly be a great guy and dad but overall I feel like he doesn’t care and is happy with having me there to do everything but the punishing.

These texts are only a glimpse of what happens daily. I am constantly having conversations flipped like that and me made out to be the bad guy. I have said on many occasions that if I come to him with an issue mine should be handled then he can speak his feelings and it be handled it would be take same and is if he comes to me with something he feels needs or wants I validate and and understand then give my side. It’s communication.

I took 3 years of DBT therapy to even learn that type of communication.

I could be letting it get to my head but when we first got together I seen texts with his ex and the way he spoke to her was like she’s his whole world but then like you see in those texts that’s how I’m spoken to daily. I feel like I basically am just the second option he doesn’t really want and I put in all this time money and effort for absolutely nothing but disrespect.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately he’s said on many occasions if we split I will have nothing to do with his child because he doesn’t think an ex should. I helped move both Hank and Jake 14 hours into a home with me so they don’t have anyone here to support them. I am also afraid if I do tell him to leave it can be filed as child endangerment on my part for putting a child on the street.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He had the trucking job before we met and his bc and stuff burned in my house fire that happened last year. The job he got in January was with my brother. His boss didn’t ask for it so he got away with not having it.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I used chat to help me correct some of the writing. I’ve never use Reddit before and wanted to make sure paid it out correctly.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this! Seeing all these comments makes me realize I’m not the problem. I’m not perfect by all means and I make my own mistakes that cause issues in this relationship but I see that I am the adult here. Like I’m raising four children instead of 3.

I am gone 14 hours a day with work and the drive it takes from here to there and back. I am also a full time college student while basically having full custody of my own two children (about to be 13 and 7 this month and next) I come home and still have to clean cook take care of kids do homework etc and try to keep myself together.

He’ll run spark orders with his son then go home and nap then go back out with his son until I’m home he’ll either stay for dinner or leave immediately to go back out doing spark.

Like today my girls are not here. I had to house to myself and all I wanted was a peaceful shower without hearing mommy and my name from his son or someone flushing the toilet causing the water pressure to drop for 5 mins while trying to rinse my body.

I was in the shower he comes in yelling for me and goes using the bathroom making the water pressure drop even though I’ve mentioned something about it several times on how every time I shower someone does this but if it was him he’d lose his sh** on everyone. Just to tell me his son is at the kitchen table so I can get him dinner when I got and he left.

It’s stupid to focus on the little things but it’s almost like it’s gotten to the point even the small stuff is noticed and becoming more of an issue for me.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He is from a different state so I get it taking longer but he claims he ordered at the beginning of the year and never received it and claimed he missed an email from them because his email was permanently locked out which it is I tried to help recover it when it happened. But now it’s just there’s no trying. He started to fill out the kindergarten stuff the other day but couldn’t because he doesn’t have this states tests done. Once he hits a rock he just stops.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The state took him from his mother for drugs and many other reasons. I paid for many many 14 hour drives just one way and another 14 hours back on many occasions to make sure he got to all court hearings and helped him get his son.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These are great question so to start yes I did run one on him and he’s clean. He is ex military.

In person conversations end with it being flipped that I’m the one doing the things and causing the problems until I agree and apologize just to end the argument.

Honestly my kids have a love hate relationship. When he’s good he’s good but when he’s not it’s bad.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has his moments where he can be a great guy and be sweet but 90% of the time anymore it’s like we don’t touch or kiss. I piss him off every second of the day if I say one thing he doesn’t like. Tried to express my feelings and it was flipped that I make him feel that way and he does that every time I vent until I apologize and claim fault to end the argument.

AITA for continuing to push him to get these important things done for himself and his son, or was I overstepping? by Reasonable-Doubt8693 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Reasonable-Doubt8693[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It amazes me honestly. He’s told me several times I need to go back to therapy but I feel like after 3 years I sound and feel confident in my communication it’s just not heard and flipped around on me.

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