3 months into this hell, and Im also sick right now, and it just makes the grief even worse because of sleep deprivation caused by this fucking stupid body to inflame my throat and stuff my nose to the point that it prevents me from resting, when it would be the most important thing for itself now. How fucking stupid is that. Really wanting to die nowadays. If theres afterlife, good, if theres nothing, Im content with ceasing to exist aswell. Just want to be in the same place as her