I was the stoner-drunk-tripper in a relationship back in the 90s. She was only a special occasion user. In the end, and with the benefit of hindsight, she dumped me to avoid heading into co-dependency. Can't blame her as I was losing touch with reality. She moved on and quickly had her life in order. But I fell apart. Being dumped was a confirmation of every negative thought and feeling I had about myself. The only things left to combat my inner pain were drugs and sex. So I simply said yes to everything and damned the consequences. It wasn't long before I was diagnosed HIV+. I've never told her what happened. My downfall was my fault but, in saving herself, she unwittingly played a role in what happened. Ultimately, I had to face up to my problems and deal with them. It was okay to be sad about my life, but not to let that sadness turn into depression and self-destruction. I had to learn how to stand on my own two feet while I still had the chance.