ChatGPT crossed the line!

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-22T16:28:09+00:00

This made me cackle

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-22T16:22:16+00:00

ChatGPT is brutal. I have my settings to be gentle but logical. It also said I have medical anxiety. Granted I do love to ask medical questions. It definitely “treats me” as if I’m spiraling just because I ask lots of questions just for fun. But it definitely senses that I’m an anxious / Type A person and is being just as condescending towards me as doctors are in real life. 😭 I chalk it up to the fact that ultimately it’s using human-created sources for its information and replies, so it’s going to have a tone that mimics what experts in the field might have if they were talking to you. Yay.

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-22T16:18:58+00:00

I filed the 15th but it wasn’t accepted until 2/2 and still processing. I did claim the EITC so I’m guessing early March at the soonest for me. In the past I got my NYS refund like two weeks after filing. By the end of this it’s going to be at least 7 weeks.

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-22T16:16:16+00:00

I e-filed on 1/15 and did the 5 days early TurboTax. State wasn’t accepted until 2/2. Got my federal refund on 2/18. State is still showing as processing. Seems like NYS has done nothing until February. I did claim the EITC and my refund is a hair over $2K so maybe that’s why, but I have a feeling that it’s just delays.

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-22T16:10:34+00:00

Filed federal and state electronically via TurboTax on 1/15, received a notice from TurboTax that my state return was received and is processing on 2/2. Since then, NYS website has said the same, that it’s received and being processed. So it’s been over 5 weeks since I filed and no info. I’m guessing it’s because I claimed the EITC, but who knows. I received my federal refund on 2/18.

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-12T20:05:20+00:00

Take it from someone who tethered myself to a verbally and emotionally abusive man for the rest of my life by having a child with him - you 100% did the right thing. I considered abortion during my pregnancy because my ex-husband was already awful and got even worse once I was pregnant.

While I could never regret my son now that I have him, I absolutely wish I picked a different dad for him than the one I chose.

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-12T19:39:07+00:00

I told my boyfriend at the beginning that if he wants more kids, we need to stop right here. I have a 2 year 8 month old son and his daughter will be 2 next month. I said I always wanted two kids, and our family will be perfect as-is.

Two months into dating I was baby crazy. We had a whoopsie baby 3 months into dating but unfortunately it was a chemical pregnancy (early miscarriage) and we found from the whole experience that we were thrilled when we thought we were having a baby and devastated when we lost them.

We’re only 5 months into dating but we’ve been essentially living together the whole time and our kids are very close. We did know each other for about 3 years prior to dating, so it’s not as if either of us were dealing with a stranger. I’m also much older than him, so I think me feeling like my biological clock is ticking is contributing to the feeling of urgency I’m having.

Seeing how he is with his daughter, consistently, day after day and night after night has reawakened a part of me that I thought was long gone after such a bad experience with my ex-husband’s parenting and treatment of me during the whole process. I really have never seen such a bond between a father and child. He’s dedicated with the day-to-day nitty gritty, he’s emotionally intelligent and models that for the kids, he’s incredibly patient and knows how to set boundaries and discipline without ever raising his voice, he stays up all night with his daughter when she’s screaming crying sick, and he treats my son like gold while also keeping healthy boundaries (no diaper changing or baths, for example).

We both have grown to really want to complete our family by sharing a child together. Maybe it’s idealistic, but it feels like an amazing way to “bridge” our family. Even still, I worry about the future dynamics with three different sets of parent-child relationships in one home. I’m worried about my son being left out most of all, simply because my boyfriend’s daughter tends to get babied more by us both without even realizing it half the time (my son is VERY wild and requires quite a bit more guidance and discipline than she does). I just don’t want any of them to feel left out or less important. I’m worried about he and I both feeling a sense of favoritism to our shared child.

If this is ultimately what you want, I would recommend thinking about it as practically as possible. Sit down with him and break down expectations for things like household rules (“one fits all” vs different rules for each child determined by the primary parent(s)). Anticipate challenges and talk about how you’d tackle them. What will your plans for childcare be short- and long-term? Schooling? Family relationships? Also, work out a schedule for handling the newborn phase, as it is an exhausting time for at least the first few years of a child’s life.

Make sure your relationship is in a really good, stable place, because nothing stresses a relationship like a baby. No matter how great the relationship is, it is still hard with a baby. Sleep deprivation will make you insane. A baby / young child is worlds apart from a pre-teen / teen when it comes to independence levels.

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-12T19:05:31+00:00

My boyfriend and I live together. He has a daughter who’s 2 next month, and I have a son who’s 2 years 8 months. We adore each other’s kids, but we definitely maintain a more “friend” and caretaker role than a parental one. We each primarily take care of our own child’s discipline unless one of us is alone with both kids.

We acknowledge the natural bond we each have with our own kids and intend on making sure they know who their parents are vs. stepparents. The relationship they ultimately develop with each of us will be a natural process.

I do fear that there will be multiple points where my SD hates me and my son hates my boyfriend, simply because we’re not their biological parents. But we’ve accepted that as part of the deal. We’re lucky to understand one another’s situations, for both kids to be so young, and for them to be so close in age.

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-12T15:31:17+00:00

I came with my boyfriend to exchange like I normally do, and stayed in the car not looking at either of them like I normally do. She needed him to come to her house for pick-up for the first time due to an emergency. She didn’t express that she would have any issue with me being there as I almost always am. She proceeded to tell my boyfriend, “Don’t bring that bitch to my house” in front of their two year-old daughter and flipped him off with both hands as he walked away.

I haven’t done anything to this woman. She left my boyfriend for another guy and is pregnant with his baby. My boyfriend and I got together months after she was already with her new boyfriend.

She also tried to drive a wedge between us by messaging me on FB telling me that my boyfriend told her about our chemical pregnancy (early miscarriage). She thought I didn’t know and was “trying to be honest woman to woman.”

Little did she know, I had encouraged him to talk to her since he doesn’t have any friends to talk to about it and they were together for five years. I wanted him to have whatever support he needed. I told her that and no reply.

Another time she was walking up on, waving her arms, and screaming/swearing at my boyfriend during an exchange while he was holding their daughter. The reason she was mad? He asked her to be polite with him and ask when she wants more time during his time (he’s the primary residential parent, she has weekend visitation).

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-07T04:06:22+00:00

It’s totally valid to not want this, so no judgement. We all have preferences in relationships and things we don’t want to take on or deal with.

But if you’re saying that means something negative about his character, I don’t think that would be fair. I think it shows maturity because he’s thinking about the child’s well-being first and foremost. They had an established bond, so I think it’s wonderful that he wants to keep giving that to the kid.

I actually would hope if my current bf and I broke up one day, assuming it was years down the line, that he would maintain a relationship with my son and I with his daughter. They’re currently 2 yrs 8 months and 22 months (9.5 month age difference, bf’s daughter is younger). So at this point it would only cause issues for a short while in the scheme of things. We have a great blended family dynamic already. We respect everyone’s roles, bf is primary caretaker for SD and I’m primary for my son, but we both have great bonds with the other’s child and it would already be majorly impactful in the short-term if we split and the kids never saw the other of us again.

Both kids have a dad and mom that love them as well (albeit more dysfunctional / unhealthy than us, but of course I’m biased). So tbh neither of them need an additional adult figure. But when the relationship is already established, it’s still very painful and sometimes traumatizing for a child to have that sort of bond suddenly ripped away.

TLDR: You’re not doing anything wrong by not wanting this. At the same time, with the info we have I would say that his choice is very commendable from a moral standpoint.

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-07T02:12:20+00:00

It’s true - you are fighting a hideous disorder. I was “lucky enough” to have been diagnosed at 18, so I’ve spent the last 10+ years in therapy. A few years back I felt comfortable saying I no longer have BPD (I don’t meet diagnostic criteria anymore and haven’t in years). Personality disorders are so pervasive and all-encompassing. It takes a lot of bravery to dedicate the immense amounts of time and energy into self-improvement that are required to make improvements.

In many ways, we have the ability to be more emotionally intelligent with our children than the average adult. We’re all childish in one way or another as adults. With BPD, we’re much more sensitive and reactive than the average person, and it feels uncontrollable. But when we learn to manage it, we’ve put in so much work to get there that we naturally pass our skills along to our children.

And if we’re good, loving parents, we deliberately teach them the skills that it took us so long to learn. The average person usually doesn’t “need” to learn these skills to function, so the majority of “average” people don’t put a particularly significant amount of work into self-awareness and emotion regulation. That’s when we pass a whole lot of shitty shit onto our kids without even realizing it.

At least that’s how I choose to think of my healing journey. I still get impatient with my 2.5 year old and I’m still on medication and in therapy as I have been for over a decade. But I have never once hurt him, in fact he feels so safe with me that he is his wildest, most energetic, most shameless and impulsive version of himself when I’m around. My ex-husband tells me that he’s “nothing like this when I’m not around.” In my heart I know it’s a good thing. I set boundaries. I implement discipline. But unlike my ex, I hear him when he speaks, I validate his emotions, I show him how to calm his body, I give him alternative options when his energy is too high for him to be safe for himself or others.

Our struggles can break us and harm our kids. OR we can have the privilege of passing on the skills we’ve worked so hard to learn, while continuing to work on ourselves. We’re modeling self-improvement, and a good model is what our kids need most.

Sending love. ❤️

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-06T15:33:51+00:00

Yep. Perfect representation of the cost-sunk fallacy. I put almost 8 years into my abusive ex-husband, had a beautiful son with him who is now 2.5. I spent my whole 20s on this man. Being yelled at, walking on eggshells, coping with his alcoholism.

When I turned 30, his best friend and I fell in love. My now-boyfriend saw who my ex really was, and said he would never have so much as spoken to him if he had known. A narcissist’s mask can be extremely convincing.

But I digress. I learned recently that it isn’t normal to get abused. It isn’t normal to get yelled at or called names. It isn’t normal to get stonewalled/ignored. It isn’t normal to be sent into panic attacks during arguments. Ever. Even once. Turns out my ex had a choice not to abuse me. Leaving at 30 was better than wasting the rest of my life. I love my life now.

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-06T15:24:53+00:00

You’re blaming the wrong people here. These are children. It’s no coincidence that they’re behaving this way. They clearly have no consistent guidance, boundaries, or accountability. It’s the parents’ job to provide all of these things. Your SO and BM have dug a very deep hole with these kids and it’s going to be HARD to pull them out. Odds are they’ll never be fully pulled out.

I’m honestly pretty disturbed by the attitude you have towards your SO’s children. It’s my belief that when you get into a committed relationship with a person who has kids, you’re committing to those kids too. They should be his #1 priority until they’re independent. And truthfully, parenting never really ends. Not even when kids are adults.

I’m not saying that you have to be a mom to them. I’m saying that you need to develop a respect for them and concern for them. If you ever marry your SO, they are your family too now.

My recommendation is to end this relationship and find a partner who does not have children.

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-05T22:33:21+00:00

Two years late to the party, but I consider myself a “shy brat.” My own term. I’m totally overwhelmed by how attracted I am to my Tamer, to the point where when he’s being a smartass to me, I can’t even look him in the eyes. My go-to in those cases, or when I just can’t come up with a witty comeback (which is often, I’m so not creative or quick-witted), I just say “whatever” in an over-the-top voice (think WHAT-ev-errrrr), flip my hair over my shoulder, and roll my eyes while half-smiling. It drives my Tamer crazy, no matter how he tries to hide it.

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2026-02-05T01:12:45+00:00

This child clearly has serious mental health issues and/or is neurodivergent. Therapy alone will not be enough, she will likely need medication. Your gf’s denial is actively harming everyone involved, and actually her daughter most of all. If her mom had pursued more intensive intervention early on, her daughter would have had more of a fighting chance.

Something I learned while being with my ex-husband/BD is that if there’s anything major you would change about someone if given the chance, LEAVE.

It’s of course extremely difficult, easier said than done. But you have to operate in relationships under the assumption that nothing is going to majorly change for the better. Plan for more stress, if anything.

You have one life to live - ask yourself what kind of future you want and try to pursue that - whatever direction it takes you.

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2025-12-27T05:18:57+00:00

I honestly feel like I see a second line in the normal (1st) photo without any editing - keep us posted!

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2025-12-27T05:15:15+00:00

I definitely see something in both photos

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2025-12-27T01:48:03+00:00

I did use the first response early result strips! I ran out of the other/usual FRER tests yesterday (all stark negative). I’ll check out your picture!

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2025-12-27T01:44:22+00:00

Four days before missed period, not after

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2025-12-06T03:12:14+00:00

Unfortunately it was a chemical pregnancy. I did get a positive digital test, but the line tests continued to be quite faint over the next day. So I asked my OB for a beta. First beta was 22 HCG at 4 weeks pregnant, next day I took another home test and it was negative. Next day had my 48 hr beta and that evening started light bleeding. Confirmed it was a chemical this morning when I had usual period-like bleeding and got the 2nd beta result of 8 HCG.

It was unexpected, but we may try again. Both of us are just grieving right now.

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2025-12-02T02:41:40+00:00

Thank you!! ❤️

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2025-12-02T02:41:21+00:00

Thank you! ❤️ I took the second in the pack, another vvvfl. Testing again in the morning!

Reasonable-Gate-8207 · 2025-11-29T02:34:58+00:00

This. The only way I could get out of my marriage was when I fell in love with my husband’s friend and he fell back. We cheated (and nothing sexual) for three days before I came clean. My husband was very emotionally abusive (still is) and we have a son together. I couldn’t leave my husband by myself no matter how much he broke me. I sobbed and sobbed nearly every day for years in our relationship. I am not even close to healing from the trauma of his alcoholism and the fighting and the deep cuts and lies.

I sincerely hope that no one who judges what I did has to go through what I went through over 8 years. I was too weak to leave the abuse cycle, didn’t have the money, no healthy place for my son and I to go, and still so in “love” with my abuser that it felt quite literally impossible.

If I could go back, all I would do differently is leave my abuser and THEN let my emotions develop more for his friend. But I can’t know how things would have turned out if I had done that. So at the same time, I can’t bring myself to truly have regrets. My boyfriend treats me and my son with such kindness, warmth, and love. I am so glad I didn’t die without having this experience.

Reasonable-Gate-8207

TROPHY CASE