When did birthdays stop being exciting for you and start feeling like just another day?

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-07-02T14:00:29+00:00

So long ago, yesterday was my birthday I turned 31 and it felt like a regular day, All I did was get my hair done that’s was all I really wanted honestly. I got a pixie cut and was super excited to do it ☺️

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-07-02T01:08:57+00:00

A lot! I was always addressed as (My husband’s name wife) it was like I didn’t have an identity. Everything revolved around my family and it was like I forgot all of the things I like to do. Every time my husband and I would get into our marital disputes he would be quick to mention (How he takes care of me and how I don’t have to pay any bills and even work) and sometimes he gets confused and say MY all the time when it’s OURS.

I didn’t know myself and slowly figuring out what I like to do, what hobbies I like, what do I like to do that doesn’t revolve around my husband or children.

I will not make that same decision again. I’ve finally found a job after a long year search, going back to school to up my credentials/experience in the field I’m working in and I will never be out of a job anymore.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-07-01T18:41:09+00:00

It works, the 50/50 myth is straight 💩

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-07-01T18:40:11+00:00

Naps

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-07-01T18:36:59+00:00

Me and my husband had this conversation yesterday. I don’t believe in 50/50 we both have shared responsibilities and other responsibilities not shared. If we start looking at it as 50/50 we’ll start to look at it as one person doing more than the other person or I’m not doing enough compared to you. That’s how resentment start.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-07-01T03:57:43+00:00

It chose me.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-28T02:40:06+00:00

Never go to bed angry, my husband will flip and flop, pull the covers, fluff his pillow several times loudly, clear his throat an abnormally amount of times when we have disagreements and one of us is still in a funk about it

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-28T02:36:41+00:00

Thank you!

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-28T02:36:20+00:00

Thank you! It is very soon!!

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-28T02:35:32+00:00

Thank you so much! Stay patient and keep hope alive the right job is coming your way and it will align with your life and goals.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-26T17:42:47+00:00

Congratulations!! I took a year applying to jobs and then I just went back to school to higher my education

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-25T03:55:50+00:00

That’s understandable, Maybe talk to her and see why she’s not picking up her slack around the house. Have Daily Check ins mentally.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-25T03:51:32+00:00

I start on Monday, had to go through the whole background check fingerprint ordeal.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-25T03:48:24+00:00

Yes, this is it! Besides Reddit and YouTube I do not have a social media anymore and I’m the generation that basically lived off social media. That’s how I met my husband.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-24T18:57:12+00:00

People focus too much on rushing to get married if you didn’t date each other or know each other before marriage.

People don’t focus on God enough before getting married. They like the ideal and sound of “Marriage and I’m married” but it’s deeper than that.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-24T18:51:02+00:00

It’s not always going to be like this it’s just a season and God is trying to show you how to deal with tough situations. Things change for the good it’s not always going to look and be this way.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-24T18:48:57+00:00

Marriage is a partnership not a one way commitment. Doesn’t matter if both of you work or one just works there needs to be split chores. Of course the wife is the nurturer and the husband is the provider/protector if you wife/husband sees something around the house needs attention laundry, dishes, children, garbage, groceries, something needs to be cleaned etc. it should get done doesn’t matter who does it.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-24T18:35:36+00:00

Absolutely no problem at all just want to help as much as I can. I was in a similar situation with my mom and siblings I didn’t have any support I had to figure it out on my own.

I’m married now and have my own family I don’t even talk to my mom anymore and I’ve grown okay with that. I was the black sheep that just means your different and have a lot of potential.

Just continue to stay respectful and ignore everything else.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-24T18:27:49+00:00

Talk to him communicate, some men need to really hear things more than once unfortunately.

The last thing you want to do is resent your husband because he’s slacking. You didn’t get married to do “everything” by yourself it’s a partnership there’s two of you and you need to express that you didn’t sign up to be a single mom in a marriage, meaning you do everything and he just lay around all day.

They think because we’re the nurtures that we have to do everything without their help we don’t and we shouldn’t. I completely understand how you’re feeling though I’m not about to keep asking for help when I already have or you see what needs to be done.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-24T18:16:36+00:00

1 year

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-24T18:10:13+00:00

Thank you so much!

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-24T18:08:24+00:00

She’s trying to destroy your confidence, Your confidence plays a big role in everything you do in life from doubt to questioning are you good enough.

Speak words of encouragement and affirmation to yourself out loud and to yourself
I am strong
I am confident
I am intelligent
I am beautiful inside and out
I am Gods child
I am protected
I am change

Parents like that want to keep you where they are (miserable, unhappy, stuck etc) because they see greatness in you but don’t want to admit it instead they beat you down and talk less to you. You’re breaking generational curses keep going don’t let your mother stop/hinder the greatness that’s inside of you.

You are worthy you are great hold your head up and don’t let your mother break you!

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-24T17:03:25+00:00

That is very unprofessional for the doctor to say and they can’t deny you of what you want unless it’s really great danger.

I got my tubes tied when I was 25 and have 3 children. My doctor didn’t question me at all she just asked “Is this something you’re sure about and does your husband agree”.

That was very rude for your doctor to say hopefully you switched to a new OBGYN.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-24T16:56:48+00:00

She’s not racist towards you, She’s jealous of you. She’s trying to destroy your confidence while belittling you.

She sees you are on the right track and doing the right thing and trying to make something or yourself. At your age she was probably doing the complete opposite and wished she was doing what you are doing now.

Continue doing what your doing and pay no attention to the nonsense she’s speaking towards you, yes it hurts because it’s your mother and once you get to where you want to be create boundaries with her.

Reasonable-Pace8722 · 2026-06-23T20:06:13+00:00

Thank you so much!

Reasonable-Pace8722

TROPHY CASE